Understanding who you are

[Candice Mae]

As I continue my journey to discovering who I am, I thought about seeing a gender therapist. But after much more thought I realized that I already know who I am, but need to know how to get to where I want to be. A therapist would only slow the process down, and be an unnecessary cost. A therapist will also tell you what you want to hear and give general advice to an individual. Both of which are okay to get you heading in the right direction, but you should never let another person define who you are as a individual.

This is not to discredit therapists, they offer a great service to those in need. But the are not a crutch or an end all, cause you need to know who you are and embrace who you are

So the question is do you know who you are?

[Adriana Moretti]

yes....i will save my money and spend it on shoes instead.

[tiffanynjcd24]

I already know who I am and I am proud to be who I am a crossdresser. Also i am discovering more about myself

[heatherdress]

Candice - if you are on a journey to discover who you are - but then feel you know who you are - but really need to figure out how to get there - but don't want to be slowed down - how can you be sure you really "heading in the right direction?"

I do fully agree with you that no one else should ever define us, that we should not uses crutches, and that we all need to embrace who we are.

I do think the purpose of life is to do the best we can on our own journeys as we discover who we are and what we need to do. I think it is exciting to continue to discover more about who I am, to grow, to become a better person, and to live life a best I can.

[Rachelakld]

I would rather by a new dress but now I'm confused

Candice, I would have pegged you as the last person on the planet to need or think about a therapist

[PaulaQ]

Candice - I knew who I was before starting with my current gender therapist. However, I find she helps with the following:
1 letters for medical treatment for transition
2 helping me unlearn being a man

In my experience they don't just tell you what you want to hear.

[Marcelle]

Hi Candice,

I do know who I am now but have spent time with a therapist to come to that understanding. I am CD plain and simple. I agree if you know who you are, then move forward but if you are leaning toward TS and move down that pathway because you think you know who you are . . . once you achieve your goal SRS then it is a done deal. So, while therapists may seem a bit of a hassle I would look at them more as a second sober thought for those gals who are unsure.

Hugs

Isha

[PaulaQ]

Isha, if someone wants SRS - they need a therapist.

[Beverley Sims]

I think we all suspect what we are, it is just that some need reinforcement and extra support.

If I was transitioning I would only see a gender therapist for the supporting letter I may need to continue.


I think an M.D. would be the one I need to see.

[TeresaCD]

Do I know who I am? Now, yes. 12 months ago, not really.
Being a part of this place was a great help in understanding who I am, as has been meeting and spending time with others like me.
I to have thought about therapy, with similar opinions. But, more for plotting a way forwards.
I know I'm transgender, and generally I do ok day to day living as a guy (albeit a more androgynous one these days)
And I do need to express myself as Teresa regularly, too. I have no doubt of that.
Generally, I test androgynous, so I don't see transition in my future at this stage.
In a sense, it would be good to confirm all this, and I continue to learn, and look for, tools and strategies to live a whole, full life.
But, I've seen one thing clearly, we all come to terms with this in a unique way, because we are all unique, one of a kind peoples.
And I am sooo glad of that

[Zylia]

The question implies there's a possibility that I don't know who I am, but I never really doubted my identity, I just wasn't so sure on the extent of certain elements of it and that's why I saw a therapist. None of these elements are/were (trans)gender-related by the way. I've never been another person than myself, so things I perceive as 'normal' may in fact not be normal but I can't tell because I never had another experience. That's where another person trained in these kinds of things comes in handy.

Anyway, you tried not to discredit therapists but you actually did based on personal experience (or lack thereof), so mission failed I guess?

[bimini1]

I think it can be helpful. Just depends on the situation. My therapist helped me sort things out. But then I had to do the real work. I still try to deny parts of the trans stuff. Pretend I'm not feeling certain things, lock them away in a dungeon in my head. So there are realities within me I just refuse to own. Socialization, upbringing I guess.

My therapist did tell me don't even think about transition unless you absolutely, must do it to remain alive. She was like you think you got problems now?

[Angela Campbell]

In my experience a therapist will often tell you what you do not want to hear.

[Ellie52]

Human beings are never satisfied with what we have. Lets say you have a playstation 4 and Sony brings out tbe playstation 5 then how many of us just have to have one.
CD should stand for Consumer Dictates.

I can see if you want to progress to being female then you need all the expert help you can get, but if like me you are happy to be a guy in a skirt then all you need is some more retail therapy to help you through.
Anyone for shopping??????????????Ellie

[kimdl93]

You're entirely mistaken about what therapists do, if you believe they a) tell you what you want to hear, b) give you general advice or c) define you as a person. The ultimate job of a therapist, succinctly, is to help an individual accept the realities of their lives and learn skills needed to live more effectively.

[Katey888]

To answer the question: Yes, I believe I know who I am. Whether or not I know what I am (in a gender sense) is something that is developing and I am learning more about (That good ole question of CD vs TG vs TS vs da dah da dah... ) - principally because so little seems really definitive about us as a collective.

I think the use of the term therapist is unfortunate for North America and other areas - in the UK they tend towards the description Counsellor - which I believe is a more accurate description of what we need. We could all use a little counselling - whether informally (here...) or professionally - but therapy implies fixing something and we truly ain't broke, so please don't try to fix us...!

Candice - keep on the journey darl - and be prepared to listen to sound advice.

Katey x

[mykell]

as i continue my journey i now love myself more today than i did yesterday,
as i evolve my passion may change but i will still be me,
when i was younger i may have transitioned (different thoughts, different times, different priorities, different resources available)
but today it would not be practical,
so yes i believe i know who i am, and for me membership is my therapy....

[Tina_gm]

I believe a therapist is like a tool. Used correctly and for the correct job it will help you fix whatever needs fixing. You are the one who has to do the work, but it helps you do the work, as a therapist can do. So finding the right one and going through things the right way can be an asset, for whatever the emotional outlet or problem, for a good healthy existence even. And sometimes even though we are in an ok spot, a tune up can always help as well, to keep things flowing smoothly. Just my 2 cents here.

[dana digs sweaters]

Sure do!
and I enjoy it
I have known for a long time. The feelings I had when young.
And how those feelings haven't changed as I grew older with different experiences.