I think, regardless of how I'm dressed, I'm basically the same person. My wife frequently refers to me as her RobbieRita. I'm sort of a blend of male and female most of the time. My nails are almost always painted. When I'm not presenting as Rita I sit and walk as a dude but with some seriously feminine qualities. I assume most people I encounter think I'm gay. It perplexes me that I don't care if people think I'm gay, but would be traumatized if they knew I was a cross dresser. /shrug
Hug
Rita
A person should wear what he likes to. And not just what other folks say. A person should be who she likes to. A person's a person that way!
~Marlo Thomas~
I do not think in terms of a gender binary - i am always about the same inside
Suzanne comes through more and more now. Since I have started accepting who I really am I remain the same girl dressed or not. I do realize I was more feminine acting than I realized. This has made it less apparent that I am not suppressing myself as much. I love feeling that peace of knowing I am being me!
Suzanne
I planned to post that I am always masculine Ken playing the part of Kendra when I am dressed. I have never really felt feminine even when I'm looking very feminine. Being constantly aware of the need to play the feminine part to sell the illusion makes it more like acting than feeling feminine.
Then I remembered how Ken feels when he shops with his wife and gets all excited by what this or that would look or feel like while dressed as Kendra. Or trying to select new foundation or lipstick colors. Certainly not a very masculine way of feeling or acting so I guess I must be a mixture of male/female emotions
The girl is always there but I'm the same person whatever way I am dressed.
The girl goes away but sometimes I think about Jaylyn as I am in my male mode. Especially if I have had a rough day working or I can get the urge and wish I had some Jaylyn time sometimes just seeing a commercial or an advertisement that shows some GG wearing certain things such as deep red lipstick, or maybe a short skirt, heels and such. Before I was married that feeling was an erotic one for the GG now its mostly ummmmm wish Jaylyn looked that good.
I'm always Billie. I don't have much chance anymore to do my hair or makeup so when I take off the top layers of femme clothes I always revert back to being visually male while wearing femme clothing underneath. By being visually male I mean go unshaven for a few days, don't clean under my nails too much, revert to a male hair style and wear clothes that visually need ironing. But mind wise I'm always Billie.
Last edited by BillieJoEllen; 02-04-2014 at 12:15 PM. Reason: additional information.
This is a chicken and an egg question for me. When I take the clothes off I easily go back to man mode. When Stephanie comes out to play I'm fully into female mode. I do believe somewhere in my early days I was destined to be more sensitive and caring and nurturing. I do see a therapist for reasons other than sexual identity (combat related issues), who does not know of my cross dressing. The therapist has made the same comment. If anything my guy mode is a lot more feminine than most. However, I do see many guys who also think the same as I who do not seem to be cross dressers. I guess I'll never know. As a brief observation I have seen on the forum instances of many guys who do not show feminine thinking when en femme. I guess to them it may be just the clothes.
When I go en femme (or want to) my SO can tell my face changes. I still can't see how
Anyway the only thing that changes (or I try to change) is my mannerisms; walking, talking etc
I am always here no matter what I'm wearing. He's the one that disappears....
I don't wear women's clothes, I wear MY clothes !
Erica Marie, you have posed a very good question. I had to go think about it for a couple of hours before answering. Usually these kind of questions come from Isha, so I'm glad someone else can make me really put on my thinking cap.
I have always thought that I.m the same regardless of the clothes, oh yeah there some mannerisms that may change, but emotions/thinking, no. But then I said to myself, but you have changed over the years. So, I said to the self, well that's maturing. I'm more thoughtful of others, more caring about disadvantaged people. Is this more feminem or it just maturing??
Maybe it is a result of the decrease of testosterom with age?? At least in my case, I'm 73! Mind you that's not old! It's sort of middle age I think. Anyway, I think differently that I did when I was younger, but it doesn't change depending on the clothes.
Erica Marie, thank you for this very interesting question, Hugs, Bria
For me, I'm very feminine by nature, more so now, then in the past; now that I'm more accepting of my true self. I have gotten to the point where it doesn't matter what I'm wearing, I'm still the same person.
For me, it doesn't matter what I'm wearing, the girl inside me is always front and center.
Of course, she's happier when she's all dressed up
Well .. no, the girl doesn't go away. She's part of me. I see things on a sliding scale, and I tend to slide up and down a bit in the area I inhabit. Not overly masculine, never overtly feminine. But depends on moods and environment. Can feel very feminine when I'm just with a bunch of girls. Opposite when I'm with a bunch of male friends.
When I'm dressed I do move differently, can't help it in four inch heels! No, really I just try to be feminine but natural ... ergo it's just me, I guess.
That probably sounds confused .. I'm a crossdresser, that's natural too.
Christen X
I think it is an evolution. Something started the ball rolling, be it clothes, smell of perfume, taste of lipstick, etc... As more dressing started, the interest in reading about how to emulate a female increased. I think we are all the same inside and just accentuate different mannerisms as needed to match our exterior. As some move beyond this, I think there is a move past crossdressing and a desire to be a female.
Since Steph and my drab self are one in the same the only difference is my outward appearance. I admit that i use my hands more when talking en femme and I take smaller steps but not much smaller. If people who knew me in drab could spend time with me as Steph I doubt they would see much difference when I'm in mixed company. I'm always me.
What a wonderful question! Hmmm
I like the fact that I am really, who no one else suspects me to be. I am an enigma possibly, but never not Vanessa or wanting to be expressive of my other side, my better side, my lovely side. I like it like this now.. perhaps that will change but you know, in my world, if I did not need the raccoon cap any more, I think the need to transform and become as beautiful as possible vs. half-dressed me would never come out. Becoming Vanessa takes a great deal of time and energy, I like the idea that I use as my motivation to become as passible/beautiful/completely dressed as possible so that I live up to her personality and need for life. For when I do dress fully and to the nines, Vanessa not only becomes alive, but all those that don't know me, if I do step out, would judge her and hopefully never see me, even if they were to look very, very hard...
Thanks for posting this. Had to do some thinking to better understand how to address something much greater than a clothes thing for me. Something very similar to other girls.
Vanny
This has been such a roller coaster few months. The genie is out of the bottle and her name is Aretha.... When the clothes come off , Aretha is still here and thriving. Hugs
Follow your path.. For only you can decide, which way to go.
For me Dawn never goes away, I'm always a woman inside, regardless if I'm dressed or not.
I would like to believe that Vanessa never goes away but there are times where being feminine just isn't practical for me. That said, however, I don't change just because of my clothes. If you have something heavy or akward to move or lift, I am your man. If you have questions about style, I am your man. My wife and daughter like my taste and I enjoy helping my daughter get outfits.
Nope she just has to go into hiding for awhile. Under the drab she's still there.
I wish that Christina would not go away, but I'm too compartmentalized. Once I'm in drab, she's gone. But, when I'm shopping with my wife or by myself, she pops out and I wish I could try on some clothes or lingerie that I see.
Don't really own much guy stuff so on occasion I do go mostly drab. On the other end when fem I don't forget that I'm the same person.
For me I guess I'm just more or less the same that way. I mean I am sure that I act different went I am dressed or am wearing something, but I like to think that I am the same person no matter what clothes I wear. For example, when I go to bed at night I am often the one to start out as little spoon regardless of what I wear. And I know that to some who get to know me that I seem a bit feminine in personality. I guess the noticeable differences are that when dressed I am far more likely to seem giddy and excited. Not that I can't be a hoot when I dress my guy self up all dashing and handsome like
Interestingly enough there have been times when I've felt more femme in male clothes and more masculine en femme. Dosen't happen all the time but my theory is that there are times when I fall somewhere in between.
When en femme I can feel I'm too masculine to be dressed this way and it (the masculine) feels amplified. Just the opposite when en drab. I feel like I'm too femme to be dressed in these male clothes and I feel some amplification here of the femme. Especially if I am out of the house in public. I want to act more feminine but am in boy's clothes so I feel it more? Strange indeed but I've noticed it.
In other words there are times when I feel I'm too much of a man to be a woman and too much of a woman to be a man. Stuck in this middle twilight zone space.
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