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Thread: Not quite sure...

  1. #1
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    Not quite sure...

    I have often thought that I would like my SO to be a member here. Now I am not too sure. How many have SO's that are supportive (not DADT) and have decided to not push having them join.

    If so why...

    I have an absolute open book policy on all accounts, passwords etc with my SO, so I could care less typically.... but I do have an uncomfortable feeling about this and wanted to throw up a trial balloon here to see what others thought.

    I don't know what the gain is for them really... other than fulfilling a need for me to have them participate.

    Who knows....

    not me..

    Vanny

  2. #2
    Senior Member MissTee's Avatar
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    My wife knows about this forum and knows I'm here, but has no interest. First because we're boring and second because she can't trust herself to erase her tracks. Consequently, she perfers to peer over my shoulder for the juicy threads.

  3. #3
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    MissTee, you do know she is not only beautious, but very, very smart. Snoopy is only bad if we have something to hide (wink)...

    Thanks...
    Vanny

  4. #4
    Senior Member MissTee's Avatar
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    Vanny, being an accepting spouse my wife is definitely a different breed. She sees bra, panties and the like as simple clothes and not a definition or gender or sexual orientation. They're clothes and nothing to get excited about.

    She once asked if there was a online guy forum where she could brag about her ability to use an electric can opener, and get support as it seemed to confuse other people about her preference of gender. I told her that makes light of our issue. She cooly replied, "what issue?"

  5. #5
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    again, beautious and smart. and did I say smart. Love smart women... snotty women nope, smart and capable.. all day long. Loving.. can't be touched.

    Did I mention about snotty and self important.. ok.. may have.

    Loved her retort... "what issue" we should not let our SO's meet.. it may be trouble...

    Vanny

  6. #6
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
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    If they desire to participate let them, after all you have told no lies or shared secrets that you would not have shared with your wife.


    Have you?
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  7. #7
    God(dess) of Mischief Brea Lynn's Avatar
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    I told my SO about this site shortly after I found it, and she showed interest, but other than giving her the URL, I'm leaving the decision to her if she wants to join, and not push either which way.

  8. #8
    Gone to live my life
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    My wife knows about the site and I have offered the URL so she could join. At this juncture she prefers not to as she prefers I have a place to discuss things with others in private. So I left it at that.

    Hugs

    Isha

  9. #9
    Member
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    I have invited my SO to join, She as decided not too and at this point I believe it is best.

  10. #10
    Aspiring Member Jenny Elwood's Avatar
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    After all the years of lying and deceit we are trying the open book policy. We've had some pitfalls along the way (my wife doesn't approve) but in the long run it's better. It also keeps me in check which is actually a good thing!

  11. #11
    Pretty in Pink Barbie Anne's Avatar
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    My wife would love to join, as she also thought something was wrong with her because she so readilly accepted Barbie in all her pink lacey glory
    However, (and I have her permission to state this),.......Due to an accident and head injury when she was younger, my dear wife has several issues, one of which is a severe form of dyslexia, so I do most of her reading and all of her typing for her, and at this time she does have a rl GGF that she confides with.(with my permission *wink*) Also I'd have to contact the mods to see if it was kosher for me to be her ghost writer, so to speak.
    Barbie

  12. #12
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    My wife and daughter have been here before. But I always have been a proponent of talking to them first. The forum shows all there is about a wide range of our community. If you let your wife come in here without her understanding what you are about, then everything here becomes what you are about. Every post can feed her imagination, especially if she has some fears to work through. This is a great source of information, but it doesn't replace talking.

  13. #13
    Silver Member noeleena's Avatar
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    Hi,
    I have a lot of friends and they know im on many forums and know quite a lot about people who are different, our family know ,plus my SO who knew allso and read some of the posts that others have writen none have joined our forums and if theres any thing they need to know they ask me or we talk about issues,

    ...noeleena...

  14. #14
    Silver Member Tina B.'s Avatar
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    In the last twenty or so years, I've always belonged to one forum or another, and my very accepting with, has never felt any need to see what it is we talk about, she'll wait for the movie.
    When I told my wife about my dressing, some thirty odd years ago, her attitude was it ain't no big deal, and she has always treated it that way, even after she learned it is a big deal for me. She helped me learn things like doing makeup, help me develop my style, has bought a lot of my clothes over the years, gifts, as well as out shopping with me, and helping order on line, she likes to get involved in my shopping, she loves to shop, and I'm just another reason to get to shop. But once it is in my hands, she has no more to do with it.
    I dress, do my make up and hair, and If I done a good job, I get a nice complement, If it just doesn't come off as planned, I don't get a complement, but then nothing is said about it, it's all up to me. What I wear, What I read, or what I write, she considers it my personal business, and she wouldn't want to snoop. I've offered to help set her up an account, but she has no interest, which I actually like, it leaves me free to say things that I might not if she was in the room.
    Magic is the art of changing consciousness at will.

  15. #15
    Exploring NEPA now Cheryl T's Avatar
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    When I first came out to my wife (for the last time...long story) about 10 years ago I told her about this site. I showed her the messages that I enjoy reading and so on and encouraged her to join. She did on her own and I have no idea how often she comes here, but she found it very helpful reading the posts and then discussing the ones she found interesting or even upsetting.
    I don't wear women's clothes, I wear MY clothes !

  16. #16
    New Member lindseycdg's Avatar
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    My girlfriend is totally supportive, and I have told her I am a member here and a few other places. She doesn't seem interested in joining, if she has questions or wants info she just asks me.

  17. #17
    Silver Member Joanne f's Avatar
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    Hello Vanessa Rose,
    my wife is completely accepting and supportive yet I would prefer her not to be on here , it is not that I have anything to hide as I am completely open with my wife as she is with me about CD/TG issues so in a way it is a bit of a shame as there is always the possibility that she could be of some help to some wife's/so who maybe struggling with it a bit but the problem is she is very straightforward ,says exactly what she thinks and sometimes says a little more than I am comfortable with plus the fact that she is not really an online message sender but more of a phone person and if she was ever to get some phone numbers ( don't know if this happens in the FAB forum) I would be paying phone bills off for the rest of my life so I think it is best to leave it as it is at the moment
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]Joanne

  18. #18
    AKA Lexi sometimes_miss's Avatar
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    As long as you are out to everyone, there's no danger of giving out your info here to your SO. But be aware, that it's very easy for someone to print out entire copies of these web pages, should she desire to accumulate evidence of your 'perversion' to present to your friends, your family, your coworkers, and the divorce judge should she decide to remove you from her life. Virtually all 'normal' people will understand why a woman would feel 'wronged' by having a husband surprise her that he is a crossdresser, and the sympathies will not be for you, but for her. Whether or not you were up front to her about it or not from the time you met her will be your word against hers unless you have hand written documents to back up your side of the story. Never forget the old saying: Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. Once you're out to her, your life is in her hands.
    Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
    There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
    Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.

  19. #19
    Member ginafaye's Avatar
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    my wife has shared it all with me, everything, crossdressing , fantizies, once in a while tg erotica,..but never shared this place with ..not a secert just never came up

  20. #20
    Gold Member Alice B's Avatar
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    My wife knows, accepts and knows about the site. I offered the chance to join, but she had no interest.

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