Hi all,
Disclaimer
While this question may seem directed at CDers who go out in public, I welcome replies from everyone based on personal observations which you may have experienced or gleaned from reading posts on this site. For CDs who don't go out I welcome your input because you will still have a perception of yourself but more from a private perspective. I know that our TS folks perceive themselves as the gender they wish to be, I know that inter-sexed folks perceive themselves as the gender of choice and I know GGs and GMs perceive themselves as their gender. However this is not to say you do not have insight into this question. So please feel free to pile on as I am quite curious how the community writ large sees this.
I had posted some pictures based on a experiment I conducted to determine how quickly my male physiology (arms and shoulders - bared) would get me read. Quickly BTW . One reply from one of our members got me thinking. Specifically she indicated that "she didn't think anyone would see me for anything but a guy (loosely quoted)" In my opinion that is an accurate appraisal. I have always maintained and never lost site of the fact that I am a guy . . . sometimes I just like to dress pretty I prefer to blend when out and for me blending means being able to enter a venue (say Starbucks . . . this girl loves her coffee ) without a shining beacon descending from the heavens a chorus of angles on unicorns announcing "GUY!"
I have never believed that blending means people look at me and see a woman, nor have I ever hoped they would. Let's face it, this thing we (CDers) do, can seem very weird to the uninitiated (not saying we are weird ) and going out in public presents it challenges. However for me going out "en femme" brings a certain amount of peace/calm to my life and it just feels plain good . . . so I do it. However at no time do I feel as though I am woman or expect to be seen as anything but what I am . . . a guy. Blending just makes the experience a little bit more pleasant by allowing me time to normalize in a venue before the staring and finger pointing begins.
Now before anyone piles on with ... Well if you perceive yourself as a guy, why go through all the time and effort of presenting female? Seems counterintuitive If I could explain why I do it . . . well let's say that would be whole different thread. Suffice it to say that while I dress, act (mannerisms/walk) and talk (close facsimile) as a woman I do this to blend. I don't feel as though I magically transform into a woman or people will see a twenty-something hottie when I am out and about. Nor do expect women to accept me as one their own kind. What I do perceive is that I am a good person (regardless of how I am dressed) and I have the right to present in any manner I deem appropriate (within reason obviously). Sometimes I just prefer to dress as a girl and sometimes a boy.
So my questions are:
1. When you go out (or stay in) and look in the mirror do you see a woman or a man? Specifically do you feel as though your masculine (if you want to put name to it) side is subsumed by your feminine side?
2. When you are out do you wish to be perceived as a woman? I am not talking about blending (hiding in plain site) but more so you truly want people to accept you as a woman.
As I noted above for those to whom the questions do not apply please feel free to provide feedback based on your own personal observations either experienced or as gleaned from the posts on this site.
Hugs
Isha