Hi all . . . I thought I would post some questions to generate some discussion based on a litany of threads about how our CDing affects our relationships. This is geared to one particular aspect and that is how our physical presentation is perceived by our SOs and how we integrate our physical presentation into our relationship. This is not meant to point fingers or drum up a "who is bad" but to generate some good discussion. If it gets out of control then moderators please feel free to close the thread.
I will be going away in July for a few weeks on a work related tasking and given the nature of my work, there is never a guarantee I will return home. So my wife and I tend to spend a lot of time soul searching and waxing nostalgic about our life together prior to my departure. Since this if the first time I have had to go away since coming out I asked her the question which was pervasive in a few threads "Since Isha has made her appearance in our lives, do you see me as less of a man?" There was an awkward moment of silence (to be honest my heart skipped a beat ), then she replied (loosely quoted) "If you mean do I think because you dress like a girl you are no longer a man, then no. Clothes are exterior trappings and if you were wearing an Armani suit or a dress, the internal you is still the same. You are all guy regardless of how you dress" She then added "In the past year since you have started dressing I have finally got the man I married back as you have become happier, fun loving, attentive and nurturing. Sweetie I don't care if you dress like a girl all the time, just promise you will come back home"
So I have a few questions aimed at a few groups on this site:
For GGs only: Do you see your SO as a less of a man after seeing him dressed? I am not trying to be argumentative but I am curious as to why you should see someone differently due to physical presentation. If your SO is a kind and good man, an attentive husband/father who does all the things you need him to do, then how does the physical presentation change that? They are the same person. I understand if your SO is selfish and wants you to accept them as a woman in all aspects of life (be your GF vice your husband or introduce the gal into the marital bed if that is not your wish) but if they just want to dress , what changes your perception?
I am cognizant that some here have SOs who are on this site so if you wish not respond I understand. However, if you are willing a PM would be nice as I am trying to understand this from your perspective as much as mine.
For CDers (whose SOs know): Do you expect your SO to accept you as a woman in all things you do when dressed? Specifically, do you want to be her GF vice her husband even though that may make her uncomfortable. I always remember that I am a guy and even when dressed around the house. My wife and I interact as if I am a guy. I may change my mannerisms to fit the femme presentation but our interaction is "boy/girl". As far as the marital bed goes . . . only one lady there . . . my lovely wife.
For CDers (whose SOs don't know) or CDers not currently in a relationship: My question to you would be the same as my question above should you ever decide to come out?
I know I have left our TS sisters and inter-sexed members. However your presentation is not so much something you do but something you need to do to match your gender preference (i.e., you are women and wish to be perceived as such). However, please feel free to respond as you see fit.
Hugs all
Isha