Maybe I once “served” my crossdressing, but I no longer do. I think this site cured me of that…Originally Posted by Candice Mae
Maybe I once “served” my crossdressing, but I no longer do. I think this site cured me of that…Originally Posted by Candice Mae
I have been thinking about this a bit recently. Looking at the list above I'd say I'm a match for the first 5 items easily. With the amount I'm thinking about CDing lately and buying clothes to support it, yet without an opportunity to indulge it I'd definitely say it's controlling me.
Actually, I pursue other interests while dressed (I dress close to 24/7). I'm retired, live alone and have taken pains that equipment to pursue them is close to hand; I get out about once a week, mostly medical appointments, but go in drab. Mostly this is due to a desire not to complicate my outside life more than I have to. I've lived in this area better than 40 years and am well known in the area. I also have a lousy memory for faces, so when someone calls my name, I may not recall theirs.
Last edited by donnalee; 07-15-2014 at 06:01 AM.
ALWAYS plan for the worst, then you can be pleasantly surprised if something else happens!
"The important thing about the bear is not how well she dances, but that she dances at all." - Old Russian Proverb (with a gender change)
I control my crossdressing, it does not control me.
I control my CDing, as I rarely do it during the summer months.
Tami Monroe, formerly known as hawkdoc60!
I'd say i'd control it up to the point until i start dressing up. Once i start dressing up, i become all happy and crazy. I want to try on so MANY clothes. I want to take photos, and be as girly as possible! So i guess i'd say its a 50/50 control, in the end. Haha
Like most other people I like to think I control the cross dresser lurking inside of me ...and I like to think that CDing doesn't control me but when I think about it, there really are some subtle ways that CDing does control me.
There are things that most us do (and don't do) in life that we only do for the dresser in us. Many things that men who don't CD would probably never do... and for some of us they become lifetime habits. Those little things like shaving my legs, not growing facial hair, keeping brows plucked and all those other girly things that so may of us do... I've even recently been on a diet that was mostly driven by the cross dresser me (it does feel good to be fitter).
I would say I'm pretty in control of my CDing, but I also think my desire to dress and express the ultra-feminine part of myself is probably less than others on this forum.
I go through cycles, usually every 1-2 months, where I feel the need to dress. When this happens I'll dress usually just for a weekend. However, when I do, I usually go all out, including shaving my whole body, makeup...the whole nine yards. Then, by Monday, I return back to my regular self, only to continue again after a month or two.
I think this need to go full out is a "build up" of the desire to express this part of myself over time. I guess my metaphor for it is a pressure that builds up, eventually coming to a head and releasing itself. I don't think it's very healthy for me to ignore this aspect of myself for such long periods of time, so I've been experimenting with ways to express the feminine parts of myself without needing to go full CD mode.
My CDing is definitely more in control of me than the other way around. That's why I see it as unhealthy for me, though I do enjoy the hell out of it.
I'm striving for balance in life in general. I cannot live a connected loving life, if I am giving all my time to Davida. So for me, Davida gets as much time as I can give her while keeping male obligations that are healthy and important to a balanced, healthy life! Perfect? No. Plenty of times I blow things off to be Davida. But it is always a choice.
For me, it's controlled and balanced for the most part.
Candice I posted a thread a while ago about being lazy or things changing. I've lost interest in wanting to do male things to prove something, CDing is meaning more to me so I guess it's taking over. The other problem I have is it was and still is sexual so I can't go too long before I'm climbing the walls !
I try not to let it take over so the best solution is to be able to combine it with my passion for painting, it certainly helps my brushwork ! but at the moment my wife has other ideas ! The house takes priority !
YES CDing controls me and it starts with the pink fog, I give in and usually push the limits further each time such as where I go and what I wear in public. I feel so good while doing it and after it's over.
One of life's pleasures when you live by yourself&own the house is being able to dress when you like? One of my prime pleasures is preparing the coffee pot,then carefully put on my pantyhose,walk into the closet&pick out a short mini skirt&
slide into into it&pick out a soft,silky blouse&step into my black 4'' heels&put on my blonde wig&do my makeup(
"Love&Kisses"
Michelle
In my current situation I am able to pretty much plan my crossdressing-related activitities, such as my shopping, my socialising with other T*-friends, my photo/video-shoots, going to parties, etc. And it is this fact that actually gives me a lot of mental rest and that.. in turn.. makes it possible to control and guide it.. knowing that there will always be moment not too far in the future where I can dress up again!
And sure, in theory.. this also means I could go weeks (or even months) without dressing, but then I will start to get antsy and restless.
Fortunately, other activitities such as online-shopping, editing my pictures/videos, working on my blog and staying in touch with my T* friends helps a lot to bridge the actual crossdressing moments!
So to answer your question, I like to think that these days.. I control my crossdressing.
EDIT. I didn't see Confucious' list and I don't know how serious I should take this list or just with a little bit of humour.
While I guess most points in their current wording are open doors,... I do disagree with a few points.
How is that defined? As in the only thing? I think about crossdressing all the time... as in every day a few times.. , but I also do that about music, sports, video games and science.1. You think about cross-dressing all the time.
I don't think this means crossdressing is controlling me. It means I can actually appreciate both the woman and her outfit.2. When a good looking young woman walks by, you pay more attention to her clothes than the women.
For real? I also don't do heavy weights training, because that will make me slower with karate. Is karate controlling me as well? Or do I take care of my body in a way that fits with my life's activities.3. You don't want to do any exercise than will make you look masculine.
And by this reasoning, one could say a CD is controlled by crossdressing for wanting to shave the legs and the facial hair?
Define real women.4. You have lots of stuff; more shoes, bras, and lingerie than real women.
If you're spending money that should be spent on food, rent, kids, education.. agreed.5. You are spending too much money on your cross-dressing.
How would these points work in an actual scenario? I guess.. if you already use the word "sacrifice"... it's not gonna be a good thing, eh?6. You are sacrificing your male side to enhance your female side.
7. You are sacrificing your love for your family to enhance your female side.
8. You are sacrificing your career to enhance your female side.
I know lots of people who have but just one passion. Are they controlled by that one thing?9. You find that you have no hobbies or outside interests other than cross-dressing.
That's being called inconsiderate or being in a pink fog.10. You fail to understand how your cross-dressing could adversely affect your wife.
Last edited by natcrys; 07-22-2014 at 10:49 AM. Reason: My thoughts on Confucious' list
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Yes there are times where it controls me to the point of exploding. At that point I know I need to take some deep breaths and get myself dressed.
I am getting better at anticipating these feelings and trying to avoid the explosion. I have been very lucky to have a friend that has helped me when she notices I am on edge and tells me I need to get dressed.
Last year I successfully stopped from May-Sep and had a CD free Summer. This year I stopped in Apr and won 't resume until after Labor Day. How's that for control? I will admit that I think of it often, and can't wait to don my hose, heels and dresses in about 6 weeks!