Steffi,
When my wife and I first started dating, she would do the same thing to me. Though we were not in a "DADT" relationship. We could talk about it but she wasn't comfortable with me doing it. So we sat down and made a compromise. We had to, seeing her underwear all the time laid out in the bathroom drying or around the sides of the dirty clothes hamper (on purpose) to tease me.
I just had to tell her that if needed to dress from time to time. If she wanted to be a part of it great, but if not then it wasn't fair for her to tease me into doing it behind her back to get caught to only start an argument. That she basically needed to make a decision about my dressing. Afterwards it took a few weeks of slowly wearing a few items from time to time to now I can under dress whenever I like. And we are working on fully dressing piece by piece. Even after 13 years she still isn't too comfortable but we work on compromising and when she starts to feel uncomfortable then I remove clothes till she is.
It is all about communication. Just remember that and take small steps.
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