Jenny I wouldn't suggest anyone should try it if it's like my rollercoaster ride ! I don't see it as a hobby so I don't think you'd get people taking it up for that reason !
If we had totally open acceptance and someone asks what's it like ? I'd probably say try it and see !
I can list the disadvantages but when the good feelings hit I can't think of many things more enjoyable !
Yes, I had suggested to a couple of friends to give crossdressing a shot. In which both of them enjoyed their experiences. One of which cemented plans to do it again at a couple annual events! In the local kink community, I had received many messages that my frequent sharing of the fun I have in my crossdressing has intrigued and inspired them (yes, men and women) to give it a shot.
Crossdressers need no introduction. The crossdressing gremlins have a way of finding us.
MsVal makes a case (post #19) for an exception to my general take on the matter, which is no, don't introduct others to CDing.
If asked me I would suggest they try it. I would even help them if they wish. Hay why not I wouldn't be forcing them to keep dressing.
Angie
I agree - it is not lime recommending a movie or video game to someone. Encouraging someone to wear a dress on a lark does not support women or transgendered folks.
Did you really just say that the Big Bang theory was nonsensical? I couldn't possibly take anything else you said seriously if I tried. That was a very smooth way to subject us to your weird religious opinions that we never saw coming though. I know it's easy to say that anything we don't understand was wizardry performed by Zeus or what not, but what's easy is not always right.
I think very few people have even the foggiest idea of how many search engines there are. There must be at least 50 or 60 here if not 100.
http://www.thesearchenginelist.com/
Google alone lists over 25 pages using the word CROSSDRESSERS. Multiple companies/sites are not manufacturing and selling canoe sized high heels to women. Nor are they only selling a few hundred or a few thousand pairs. Even web sites with practically no overhead can't stay in business that way.
This site is only one of at least multiple dozens if not hundreds. I asked in a biker thread how many bikers here participated in any motorcycle Forums and got the expected response.
An OPEN mind, coupled with even a rudimentary knowledge of the birds and the bees and some simple extrapolation based on the available evidence puts the number of men who CD at least occasionally at double digits at the very least. The true # will never be known but it's immaterial anyway. Others here will insist it's only 1 percent or less. All the numbers that this site offers in so many places don't support that estimate at all.
^^^ Meaning you probably already have at least a few friends who CD, maybe some regularly at HOME and are happy to keep it private. Like 99% of the CDers on the planet. Few of them are going to be interested in "full presentation" or going out or discussing it in any manner.
I would not suggest it to anyone unless they do the same type workout I do which is extremely unlikely. Most folks have no reason to ask why because it's obvious.
I'm still laughing at that 10 minutes laterOriginally Posted by Jenniferathome
Certainly written from a cross dresser's point of view. If I sit on a horse, do I know what a cowboy's life is like? No, of course not. No one is defined by a hat or dress or shoes. A "normal" who cross dresses will not experience anything that a woman experiences. They'll just feel weird.
I have to agree with the girls that say this isnt like suggesting you should try sushi for the first time! you are either a cd or not... if you 'try it' and find its for you, then its highly likely you have always had this tendency but just not acted upon it! As much as i enjoy it i am not sure i would have selected it as a hobby by 'choice' :-)
Hi,
My Mom dressed me in some lovely dress,s , I was allso dressed by two women and 3 others well 5 of us , for a end of year do for our church in 1958-9 my Mom was there as well and over 80 people dressed to the hilt, makeup and all . we did a mime and it went down well ,
i still had make up on when i went back after to the main hall, .to watch the other s do thier bit and supper of cause ,
it never triggered any thing in me , to wont to start dressing i was never bothered at all ,in fact it never entered my head at all ,
What i should have done was wear our Clans Tartan = Kilt, just we did not know the colours I do now of cause so i may be able to have one sent from Scotland since we dont have them here,
...noeleena...
6inchheels congrats on being the first (and only one) to take the bait. And thank you for making my point by calling that which you seem to believe in a theory. Just because something is promoted in the popular media does not make it right either. Now let's agree to disagree, I don't want my thread deleted.
To everyone else thank you all for your inputs. I do agree, you are either a crossdresser or not, no amount of suggestion could make you one. I agree with Val and Paula that the only persons worthwile to suggest it to is those who seem to suffer from some form of GID in order to provide relief. The so-called "late starters". So don't worry, I'm not going to start running around suggesting it to people randomly.
Have a great (rest of the) weekend people, it's Jenny night tonight!
Last edited by Jenny Elwood; 08-30-2014 at 07:17 AM.
I discovered CDing as we know it less than two years ago. Before that I never gave it a thought except maybe once every five years thinking that I bet that fabric would feel good or something on that order. I discovered CDing as we know it, meaning really looking like a woman, while searching for a place for my CO to get glamor photos taken. NOT searching for CD makeover. I found it completely by accident. Just by searching "glamor photographs".
I told my wife before I started CDing that the makeover like fun. That I would like to try it. I asked her blessing.
So I would absolutely recommend that every guy try this because:
It is an escape from the confines society places on men.
The process of transforming myself is rewarding in itself.
The hunt for coordinating wardrobe items in places like GWs is fun.
The assembling of outfits is a creative outlet.
The fabrics feel good.
The bare skin on the stockings is sublime.
The earrings are fun especially heavy large ones.
The shoes are an experience all their own.
The long nails are a handicap you don't understand until you have them.
The shoes are a handicap you don't understand until you have to submit to them.
Having a purse to carry things is great.
The women's dressy outfits/shoes/makeup/nails/hair/earrings all are a handicap over the ease that men have in guy mode.
While CDing we become much more aware of the dangers and inability to defend ourselves while handicapped with the nails, exposed legs not protected by pants, heels preventing flight or secure footing.
I now understand the things that women must deal with in their everyday lives. I appreciated my SO even more than before.
Yes I recommend this to every guy as long as he is truthful to his SO and does not cause harm by letting anything take precedence over them. Every guy needs to learn that being a woman and looking great is a lot of work and some sacrifices. Yet being a woman and looking great has some benefits. It is a tradeoff.
This is just too much FUN to not do it.
Last edited by BillieAnneJean; 08-30-2014 at 08:00 AM.
If there was someone with whom I had more than a passing relationship and I knew that they were struggling with gender issues, I might raise the notion of crossdressing. However, it would be closely followed by talking about my thoughts and experiences and a strong suggestion to see a therapist. I can't see any other circumstances and probably wouldn't say anything even in jest.
Billie Anne - I adore your enthusiasm with all things CD, I hope you know I do, but I read your post here and my first thought was: "That is probably the barmiest suggestion I've seen on cd.com yet..." :facepalm:
To want recommend this to every guy is just... indescribably... something...Pick any 'universally' accepted male pastime and you will always find a significant percentage of males who hate and loathe it, be it football, motor sports, boxing, drinking beer, cricket, rugby.. whatever... because none of those things are truly universal.
But you're suggesting that every 'joe soap' might respond well to benefit examples like:
Well I'd like to see the response from a standard set of a thousand random males to those suggestions...
And I think this point is the 'why' it's good for you:
You 'never gave it a thought' but actually you did have those latent feelings going back some way... I'd suggest those feelings are what we all experience to some degree and are what put us - whether mildly or severely - all under the TG banner... Those feelings are innate for you, even though latent for decades - for 95%+ of males they are just not there...
However - not to throw out the thought of pushing envelopes - I think your final points have a lot of merit...
Because I think most of us do appreciate what it takes and that should lead to a better understanding and relationship with our other halves - I'm sure it has for me, even in my closeted state... but I just can't see it being a popular idea with the other 95% and I for one would not want to be the one to suggest it...
Katey x
"Put some lipstick on - Perfume your neck and slip your high heels on
Rinse and curl your hair - Loosen your hips, and get a dress to wear" Stefani Germanotta
I suggested to one of my female friends once that she get her husband a baby doll nightie but she dismissed the idea.
Deedee
It's not wrong... but it is forbidden!
I can't see myself ever being comfortable proselytizing because of all the attendant issues and trade-offs. I'm particularly sensitive about it with young people. That said, I think just about all of us who interact with others online or in person have experiences with curious types, and I've found the majority of them are interested in some sort of experimentation of their own -- in other words, the curiosity isn't all that idle. If I suspect it's just a sexual thrill thing, which isn't uncommon, then my attitude is sure, why not, go ahead and try on those panties, but I'm not really interesting in engaging at that level if that's all there is to it. On the other hand, when I detect deeper interest or need, I don't try to dissuade them because I understand the itch, but I do go out of my way to help them grasp a few things before they head down the primrose path --
- It's a much bigger undertaking than most realize. One thing leads to another and there's a big learning curve, not to mention no small investment of time, energy and resources. Of course most of the process is interesting and enjoyable, but IME most wannabes are a little stunned at what all is involved. And btw, about that learning curve -- it isn't just about how to do makeup, hon. No matter how young or old you are, I can almost guarantee you're going to learn some things about yourself you may not have expected.
- If there really is a femme person inside, once you unlock her it's hardly ever possible to put Pandora back in the box and keep her there. What's more, it's a challenge to maintain equilibrium and perspective once the gurl gets a toehold.
- There is a great deal of social stigma involved and you have to take that into account when visualizing what being femme will be like in the real world. This isn't an insurmountable situation by any means, but there are trade-offs involved and your eyes need to be wide open.
- Once he/she understands that some discretion is required, if she is still inclined to buy in, I encourage her to not be unduly intimidated by the world, and to experience her femme self as fully and socially as her circumstances and common sense allow.
- If there is a marriage, family or SO in the picture and I suspect there could be any dishonesty, infidelity or irresponsible conduct going on, count me out, end of conversation, adios. I'm not going to be a party to that.
This sounds like I go through some long diatribe whenever I get asked about CDing, but I usually allow the other person's questions and comments to guide how much or how little needs to be touched upon.
Jenny: I want to apologize that my post sounded so chippy. I was at work and my job stresses me out. As far as the use of the word "theory", of course it's a theory. Anyone who thinks they are certain how the universe came into being terrifies me. With that, I will tip toe away from the subject. This is a nice thread and I don't want to distract anymore.
Best regards,
Heels
Katey888,
Nope. It wasn't something latent in me. I do it for fun. If I had not found that website, it would have never occurred to me.
Thinking that a fabric would feel good every five years or so is hardly a latent desire. A comedian on the Tonight show once said that his fantasy was to jump in a swimming pool filled with grapes while he was naked. I thought that might feel good. But it didn't make me a vinter or wine maker, even though I thought about that more than once every five years. Actually every time I went through the produce section. But I went by the women's clothing section and hosiery probably as many times and only considered the feeling of the fabric as I was caressing my wife when she was wearing some dress or nightgown. And that was brief and interrupted and overwhelmed by thoughts of how good it was going to be putting myself inside another kind of outerwear. And that was maybe every five years. Hardly a latent desire.
This latent desire thing may apply to some but it doesn't apply to all of us.
It certainly didn't apply to me. I do this purely for fun. Some day when I can't do it well, I will stop. With a smile on my face that it was fun while it lasted and my life is richer for the experience.
And every guy should try it. Yes unless he is a serial killer, a homophobic who can't possibly consider it, and all the other obvious exceptions, that we can find if we dig enough or want to be precise enough, beyond the generalities of my post.
But nowhere in my post does it say that that every guy will respond well. That is your idea, not mine.
No some guys may well have a need for counseling, some might have nightmares, some may find things about themselves that they didn't want to find. But maybe there would be one or two out of thousands who says that it was fun while t lasted and his life became richer because he crossdressed. Someone like me.
So I would suggest that every guy try it, excepting those who may be irreversibly harmed by it. If that is possible.
And thank you for your thoughts, opinions, and the way you put them down. It shows that you are a real classy gal.
I am STILL having SUCH FUN!
Billie
Last edited by BillieAnneJean; 08-30-2014 at 09:13 PM.
No. Its either something that your not so much (IMHO) born with, but have an inclination toward? To suggest such to someone who isn't inclined toward it, would be to have them look as though your were from another Dimension if not Universe.
Most things Human, fall along a spectrum ~ sexuality, intelligence, sexual orientation, communication skills, emotions, dealing with emotions, math skills, mechanical aptitude, a natural aptitude toward art, drawing, sculpting, writing, speaking, oral skills, cooking, gardening, the list is literally endless? There are those of us that are stupid in one area, but genesis in others. Idiot Savants are a classical example ~ aka "Rain Man" with Dustin Hoffman and Tom Hanks.
I've a autistic granddaughter, and although she's only three, non verbal she's a brilliant child beyond years. Anyone who takes the time to learn about autism and such will find that they're not "Retarded" its that they're beyond the standard norm? There is a spectrum for autism, and some that are autistic gone on to complete not only high school, but college, write, create, etc.
When you take the "streams" of spectrum and combine them together? You end up with something more akin to a "Rubic's Cube" (to use a 3D model ~ if you extend it to a greater multi-dimensional level it can and does become more complex to grasp and comprehend) The simplest way of expressing this is that "We're the more than the sum total of our parts?"
And it is FUN! Girls just want to have fun, why should we limit ourselves to being put into and confined to a box to be checked off?
There was one time when I turned cautioned to the wind and went on a shopping spree for myself ~ as Dana, ~ and it was SO much fun and with that I really understood why women so much enjoy going shopping, ~ not just to buy things, but to just look, see, feel, experience.
Last edited by Katey888; 08-31-2014 at 03:16 AM. Reason: Consecutive posts merged - please use edit to add to existing post rather than adding a successive post and no need to quote yourself...
I don't think there's, like, a choice in the matter.
The need to dress is just way too strong to repress or ignore.
People have asked me the same thing: Why do I dress?
I just say "That's just who I really am, if you want to know the truth".
So asking a person who IS a crossdresser, that be like opening the dike. Be good for them. They know all about it, anyway.
And as far as a straight person, well, different strokes for different folks. It's one of those things like, "You have to be there" to understand it all.
Actually, we're a real minority and NOBODY understands us except us.
I think for many, such a suggestion would be dismissed outright and they wouldn't think of it again. I think for a few others, the same suggestion would be equally dismissed but would linger a little longer than anticipated. It might even fester there, slowly growing a life of its own. I mean, after all, this crossdressing stuff is ATROCIOUS, they'll think. Why would I do such a thing?? I'll be a laughing stock...yet, it's sort of exciting. I know, I should try it, just to make sure I really do hate it. That'll end this once and for all. Dressing will dull these thoughts.
And so it continues...
Suggestions can hold power so I don't recommend you send anyone else down the rabbit hole, Jenny, just in case the genetics theory turns out to be wrong.
Last edited by Tinkerbell-GG; 08-31-2014 at 05:13 AM.
Well, after reading all this the last few days, I've been subliminally
convinced to give it a try.
What luck! I have dresses, shoes, makeup, jewelry, perfume....all right
on hand! lol!
Please don't make the mistake that so many others do. No, not all of us are born crossdressers. Perhaps it was for you, I don't know. But I know that was not the case for me, and from that, I suppose that there are others who weren't 'born crossdressers' either.
So regarding the initial question, no, I would not recommend crossdressing to anyone who hasn't already done it. Only those who have crossdressed in the past, and tried to stop, with adverse reactions from forcing themselves to abstain from crossdressing, would benefit from returning to that behavior. Suppressing any type of naturally felt behavior is stressful, sometimes to the point of interfering with every other part of our lives. I've felt that; I've been in the situation where stopping myself from crossdressing was so all encompassing that I couldn't think straight about anything else. So if another person was in that state, then yes, I would recommend that they crossdress at least until they can think clearly again.
Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.
My cross dressing is part of me, i has been part of me for most of my life, I don't understand why I do it, but I long since stopped caring and just embraced the joy and pleasure it gives me, but it is just part of who I am and therefore I couldn't see myself suggesting it to anyone else because I couldn't tell them why I do it, just that I enjoy it immensely and without question, I think it is a very personal thing
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