I'm very sorry for your situation. I've been very close to divorce in the past (unrelated to CDing) so I know the pain. There are no words to describe the feeling of a long term marriage on breaking point.
Yes try counseling but heed the advice of what the agreed goal is. What will the AGREED goal for therapy be? You will want her acceptance and she will want you "fixed". Also know that all counselors are human and biased.
Only thing that really bothers me is that your wife is verbally abusive. She might think you have a problem but ask her if being verbally abusive is ok and normal in her world?
