So, I woke up this morning with strong second thoughts about what I am doing with regards to my CDing. Right now I am not sure that I really want to get more involved with it. It's been easy to say I am okay with it - words are cheap.
I still don't think that I could quit, but I kind of feel a purge may be coming. I've never done that before, but at the moment a large part of me really wishes it would just go away. Even though my SO is marginally accepting, I am afraid of what the future reprecussions could be for our marriage. What's more, I am not feeling like I could ever be open with anyone else about it; it's just not something I want people to associate with me. Maybe that means I'm in denial about part of who I am, but at the moment I really don't care. Again, I talk a good game about loving myself for who I am, but putting that into practice is really hard. Talk is cheap.
Very confused today.