I've come to a realization in the last 24 hours.
I've tried over the years to stop cold turkey. It wasn't pretty, only to have the desire come back even more so afterwards. I'm working on becoming calmer, more content, and learning with a counselor what drives me to dress in hopes of at least understand this. I don't know if it will ever go away, the real question is how far am I willing to go with things. I think I'll take it one step at a time. I've tried to process it as a big picture in the past and nearly gone crazy (lost in pink fog) over it all. Step one, understand why I'm doing what I'm doing the deep meaning not the stuff floating on the surface.
Joan