She Brought a Tear to My Eye

[JamieG]

Today, my wife asked if I had ever seen Lana Wachowski's speech to the Human Rights Campaign (HRC). For those who don't know, Lana is a transwoman who co-created "The Matrix" with her brother. She was given the Visibility Award by the HRC back in 2012, and I had heard about it then, but I had never seen the speech. So my wife said, "Let's watch it together." If you've never seen the speech, go find it now, but make sure you have 30 minutes to spare. Lana is a smart, witty, and sensitive person; a great public representative of trans people. When Lana talked about how she almost committed suicide as a teen, I started tearing up. When she talked about the acceptance she received from her parents when she finally came out to them, those tears turned to tears of joy. My wife and I embraced tenderly throughout the speech. At the end, my wife turned to me and said, "I love and value you. EVERY aspect of you." It was really hard to hold back the waterworks then. I am so fortunate to have married such a wonderful woman, and I told her so.

[Karolyn]

You brought tears to my eyes just by reading your post. I am starting transitioning soon, and I attempted suicide because of my dysphoria when I was 13, fortunately it failed. I am definitely going to have a look at it as soon as possible. Thanks for the hint.

[Stephanie Julianna]

I've watched that speech more than once. She is an amazing woman. However, what is really amazing is your marriage. If God is good to me I hope that someday, I will get to meet the two of you. Life is getting more complicated as I get older but it would be worth the effort. Couples like you are far too few and in between.

[justmetoo]

What Karolyn said. Your post (and Karolyn's) brought tears to my eyes. I think I better stock up on tissues before I watch Lana's speech!
(I'd heard of her coming out and all and seen clips, but haven't seen the speech)

[MissTee]

Thanks for sharing Jamie. I'll look for that speech.

[AllieSF]

I am going to listen and watch the speech now on the following link. Thanks for the info.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=crHHycz7T_c

PS: Here is another Award Speech for the Equality Illinois Freedom Award. Another great speech like the first one.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xpqe...-ts=1422579428

[Karolyn]

I have watched the entire speech, and it was definitely emotional. Fortunately, she was interrupting each difficult moment by a bit of humor, so it reduced the use of the tissue box.

The part that affected me the most was when she had to have her long hair cut as a kid, due to the Catholic school strong separation between boys and girls (video at 16:30). I would hate my life if that was happening to me, and particularly the people that did it to me.

Right after, she talked about how they were two lines of kids, one for boys, one for girls. She felt that attraction to be on the girl side, but was pushed back to the boy side. I felt similar frustration when I was 11-12. Those were my two first years of middle school. I am French, and in middle schools, two foreign languages are taught, the first one from 11 to 14 years old, and the second one from 13 to 14 years old. The typical combination is English then Spanish. But there was German then English at my school, and my parents choose that since most of the "smart kids" were in that class, which was kind of true. During the German classes, I was surrounded by girls, that was the only moment I was feeling safe, both because I was not being bullied and beaten up badly, and because I was with girls. That period is when I developed my admiration for girls, almost a jealousy to not be one of them. After my failed suicide attempt at 13 years old, I was at the hospital for 5 weeks. When I came back to school, all the girls were worried sick about me and even organized a little event for me, for my come back. The guys totally did not care. I will never forget that feeling of being accepted. I did not reattempt after that, both because of that story, and thanks to my loving parents, sister and brother.

Twenty years later, I am finally going to achieve my dream, HRT starts in a few weeks. In a few hours, I am coming out to my parents. I have been hiding that secret from them for 23 years, their reaction is what I was the most terrified off, and what blocked me from even CDing for very long, scared of being outed. I have rehearsed that talk with them for at least 2 months, and now I am getting ready, preparing my notes, so I do not forget something important. Wish me luck!

For everyone reading my post: please do not drive your life to satisfy the one of others, including your family. Live your life to its fullest, and make the choices that make you happy. If CDing makes you happy, continue doing it. But if you feel that your female side is becoming an obsession, and is the only way you feel happy, consider becoming TG. Do not consider transition as something only other people do, it is your own choice, and it is never too late.

[EllenJo]

I am sitting here trying not to weep. What a wonderful speech.

Jamie, you have an amazing wife.

Karolyn, you have amazing courage.

I am so happy to call you both sisters.

Hugs
Ellen Jo

[Jamie Lynn]

You have an awesome wife, Jamie!

And Karolyn...I'm so glad you finally get to make your dream come true!

[justmetoo]

I watched both speeches before going to bed last night. Lana is pretty cool! She interjected plenty of humor, as well as more serious stuff. The part about being on the train platform and the brief encounter with the older gentleman was very touching to me. She deserves those awards and accolades (but I'm totally with her on not wanting to make speeches!)

[Karolyn]

As a follow up to my previous post, I finally came out to my parents after more than 20 years. I wrote the story in this thread:
http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...-to-my-parents

[Amy Fakley]

Lana is definitely one of the first trans "celebrity" (for lack of a better term) people who really inspired me. I remember when she first started her transition, and it was getting a little media coverage here and there ... when the news reached my my mid-20's self, it was a revelation. Because when I saw the original matrix, a lot of things connected deeply with me ... in spite of all the Kung Foo and explosions and special effects ... the way the characters chose a "more authentic" appearance in the matrix ... the whole idea of waking up and realizing your reality is fundamentally different than what you were told, the forcible coercion to keep your eyes closed and fit in ... swear to god, I came out of the theater and I was like "whoever wrote this is like me".

before I heard about Lana the only other successful trans person I'd ever really heard about (other than famous drag personalities) was Wendy Carlos ... though less outspoken, she is also a wonderful inspiration.

[JamieG]

Thanks for the responses everyone. This really is a great sisterhood, and it is nice to be able to share with each other. Karolyn, I am so glad to hear that your transition is proceeding well!