Quote Originally Posted by Greenie
Somewhere along the lines, my idea of SOCIALLY gender nuetrul got turned into forcing everyone into the same clothes!!!

That not what I meant! Lol. What I mean is that pushing feminine and masculine to the extreme and saying that women are ONLY feminine if they wear skirts is wrong. ... Neutral where skirts done equate to femininity by default and pants don't equate to masculinity. Where people are just people regardless of what they wear.
I saw no way to interpret your statement about stereotypical feminine presentation as meaning anything but the rather hyper femme way some of us present as being a throwback to the bad old days of repression of women. If this isn't what you meant, then I apologize, but it is a very, very, very commonly expressed sentiment here and in many other places.

A lot of us who are trans take a lot of crap for being "too feminine." I had a therapist (straight cis woman), observe to me recently that she saw all these other cis women who kept themselves rather meticulously feminine as little better than prostitutes because they looked the way they did to get and keep their wealthy husbands. It told me a lot about where I stood, in her opinion.

Clothing says something about you. There is a language associated with it, and often concepts about our identity are conveyed through it. I think stripping gender from it is exactly the WRONG thing to do. It is like stripping the meaning from words, so that nobody is offended because no one really knows what you mean, since nothing has a meaning in the first place.

I think it would be far better for Luca to be able to wear a skirt not because it's become this gender neutral garment, along with most others that don't directly interface to our anatomy, but rather because she is trying to express a fundamental truth about her identity, that she is male, but with a feminine side. In other words, she should be able to be authentically who she is, without judgement, not because clothes don't matter, but rather because our society accepts people as they truly are.