Scariest thing I've ever done, but I'm officially now in a DADT relationship. Yay (I think!)!
She said she didn't think it was really a big deal, and told me I could wear her underwear if I wanted even though I didn't ask. I told her I had my own <grin>. I told her I've newly accepted myself, spent some time exploring it to so I knew a little more about where I was on the trans spectrum before talking to her about it. That I don't *understand* it, so I didn't expect her to, but I could at least *describe* it and what I feel, not necessarily why.
I told her that I wanted to be open for a few important reasons:
1. I wanted to make sure she knew I wasn't cheating on her in case she found some women's clothes, and that I wanted to be 100% truthful in our relationship. Now that I understand this is a part of me and always will be, it was time to disclose.
2. I was beginning to consider taking unnecessary risks. I've had urges to go out here (no longer traveling to San Diego for work), and didn't want to be changing into a dress in the middle of a parking lot somewhere, so I wanted to be open for safety.
She asked her first set of questions, seems like the common ones. Are you gay? Is this about me? No and no it's not. And plenty others. No tears (either of us, I'm more surprised about ME not breaking down). No throwing things, it's something she can live with but doesn't want to participate in.
I left her an article from trans-health that really rang home and true for me, and let her know it wasn't 100% me but that much of it really rang true to me. I asked her if she'd like to read it, she said ok, and I asked her not to make assumptions but ask me questions. Talked about a support group I want to go to, some of the normal and super cool friends I've met out dressed, and she encouraged me to join the group.
And that was that! So far so good, and a big burden off my shoulders. Now I wait to see what's next...