Rachel - you describe a state of being that I think many of us can relate to. It seems like you are being pulled between the poles of "male identified CD" on one end and "fully transitioned TS" on the other. There is a lot of ground in between. The most important thing to realize is that you get to decide who you are. You also don't have to commit for life to any particular identity. Who you are right now, today, is what matters most. Live your life however feels best to you!
Lucy
