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Thread: Thoughts from a GG

  1. #1
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    Thoughts from a GG

    I remember when I young hearing someone say that women sometimes get jealous of men who crossdress because the men sometimes look better than the woman.

    Well, I'm beginning to think that there may be some truth in that statement. I'm a GG and have a male friend who's a crossdresser (underdresses) and we have become quite good friends even though we haven't met yet. Well, we may meet in a few months when he's out this way and I'm realizing that I'm really nervous about meeting him because I think he kind of looks better in the lingerie than I do. I think because he loves lingerie so much that he keeps himself in such great shape because of how he wants to lingerie to fit, as opposed to me. He also has higher-end taste and I'm feeling a bit insecure.

    So just some food for thought, I actually just wanted to say that it is possible that there are wives and girlfriends who actually are a bit envious and feel insecure because of the way that you look in your clothing. I don't think many women would admit to that though or even realize that that is how they are feeling.

  2. #2
    ADMINISTRATOR Sandra's Avatar
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    I don't the only thing I am jealous of is Nigella's got better legs than me and I don't feel insecure either but then I guess all of this could stem from how you found out about the cding, and how it has affected your life and what kind of relationship you have ( by you I don't mean you in particular Lisa) but wives/partners in general.
    Sandra
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  3. #3
    Silver Member Jilmac's Avatar
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    I have been told by several GGs that I have a better figure that they do. But I also consider the fact that many GGs have gone through childbirth and lost the figure they once had. Being a male from birth I had to practice to attain my feminine persona, whereas many GGs take their gender for granted. I know a GG who is quite thin (think Olive Oyl) who has told me she wishes she had a figure like mine. I consider that a nice compliment.
    Luv and Jill


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  4. #4
    GG ReineD's Avatar
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    Hi Lisa,

    I don't feel jealous either, despite the fact that my SO's legs are skinner than mine! I have always liked my body, even as it ages.

    I remember having a discussion with a GG several years ago who, like you, felt a bit insecure because her SO kept himself in better shape than she did. And so I asked her, would she also feel insecure if she was standing next to another GG who was in great shape and they were both looking in the mirror? This GG said yes. And so she realized that her feelings of unease didn't stem from being jealous of her SO. Instead it was more about wishing she (the GG) was slimmer.

    So here's what you need to remember: you are beautiful, and you have a beautiful body with natural curves that your CD friend might well be envious of, because as a male his body is more angular. But, if there is anything about your body that you do not like, you can change this, and you can buy nice lingerie if you want to as well (it doesn't have to be super expensive)!
    Reine

  5. #5
    I am me! TrishaTX's Avatar
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    I like the way I look and I guess I might look better than some but I know some look better than me. I'd say meet with him and work it out....
    No regrets except I should have got dressed & stepped out sooner.

  6. #6
    Little Mrs. Snarky! Nadine Spirit's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lisa9099 View Post
    ... because the men sometimes look better than the woman..... it is possible that there are wives and girlfriends who actually are a bit envious and feel insecure because of the way that you look in your clothing...
    I have said to my wife that simply because I may fit in a smaller size than her, that does not make me in anyway a better looking woman. She is envious of the size of some of my parts and I too am envious of the size of some of her parts. It has been nice that she and I have both been able to openly talk about this.

  7. #7
    Lady in Being (7/20/17) AmyGaleRT's Avatar
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    Lisa, the very first thing my fiancee said to me when she saw me present as Amy was, "I'm jealous, you look more feminine than I do!" She still routinely thinks I'm prettier than her; she's especially jealous of my natural hair, which is thicker and wavier than hers, and falls all the way to my bra band in the back. Despite this, she still accepts my Amy-side, and routinely tells me I'm cute whenever I finish dressing and step out into the living room to show her. And her acceptance has even increased over time; she's recently started allowing me to wear my nightgowns to bed, as long as I don't wear my foam breast forms with them, or wear ones that are "too sexy." (Before that, she had no objection to ladies' pajamas, and I routinely wore those.)

    She does have one natural advantage over me, though...I wear forms to give me a C cup as Amy, while she has natural DDs. It's possible that you might have quite a bit of natural advantage over your friend in some respects, too. So don't worry...and you might look at some new lingerie for yourself before you meet up with him. Wearing all that satin and lace underneath can feel really good, like you have this secret sexy side that no one else can see; trust me! And, if the two of you wind up having a slumber party, you'll both want to look your prettiest!

    - Amy
    Amy Gale Ruth Bowersox (nee Tapie) - "Be who you are, and be it in style!"
    Member, Board of Trustees, Gender Identity Center of Colorado
    aka Amelia Storm - Ms. Majestic Hearts of All Colorado 2018-2019, Miss Majestic Hearts of All Colorado 2015-2016

  8. #8
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    Not all of us feel that way. I have never even thought, much less said, that I look better than a GG (and I mean any GG.)

  9. #9
    GG ReineD's Avatar
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    Thanks for pointing that out, Vickie.

    GGs are socialized to not elevate themselves (out loud) over someone else even if they do think they are better ... better looking, more talented at something, etc. We are taught that doing this is arrogant and rude because if the other person were present, they'd feel awkward hearing it. Men on the other hand are socialized to promote themselves. There's nothing wrong with that, in fact it's a practice that women should (and are) becoming better at. But, it seems to me that self-promotion without making someone else feel "less than" is the best way to do this. Saying something like, "I like the way I look" sounds much more positive and confident than "I look better than (whoever)", which to me sounds insecure and rather petty.

    So to the members who do think they look better than women, you should keep these thoughts to yourselves especially if in the same breath you say that you understand women so much better than men who do not CD.
    Reine

  10. #10
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    I try my best but there will never be a day where I look better than any GG.
    Your friend may look fabulous in lingerie but I'm sure you look fabulous in it as well.
    Don't worry too much.

  11. #11
    Lady in Being (7/20/17) AmyGaleRT's Avatar
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    Reine, you're right there. I may be beautiful (in a lot of people's opinion), but I'm not going to measure up to most GGs. Heavens, my score on HotOrNot is only 5.07, or about roundly average, and even that is pretty amazing that I can score that well. Most of what I mentioned about comparison in my first post is what my fiancee told me.

    I don't focus on looking "better" than anyone, cis or trans; I just make myself the best I can be, and let things go from there.

    I don't claim to actually understand women any better, either, except in certain very specific aspects...such as why they want so many pairs of shoes.

    - Amy
    Amy Gale Ruth Bowersox (nee Tapie) - "Be who you are, and be it in style!"
    Member, Board of Trustees, Gender Identity Center of Colorado
    aka Amelia Storm - Ms. Majestic Hearts of All Colorado 2018-2019, Miss Majestic Hearts of All Colorado 2015-2016

  12. #12
    Diva AbigailJordan's Avatar
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    I get this from a lot of friends and also from SO's in my past. I still remember the first time my current bestie saw Abi, I just happened to pick one dress from my wardrobe that she owned too. All day long she was saying to people "I'm p**sed off.. he looks better in that dress than I do!!!".

    I happen to think my bestie is gorgeous, but as many people say, she has had 4 kids and doesn't have the luxury of a body touched only by the occasional pizza etc. My legs get lots of compliments, and my last ex did say she was jealous of my S-Curve compared to hers. Yes I think we do have certain advantages over the GG's, for example, we simply choose what size boobs we want to have and then buy breast forms in order to get them. Not quite so simple for our "genetically restricted" counterparts hehe..

    One thing I will say to any gg reading this, as well as the original poster. No matter how jealous or envious you are of us, I can guarantee you that we are JUST as jealous of you. xx

  13. #13
    Platinum Member Eryn's Avatar
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    Like it or not, the fashion industry's ideal woman has a body more like a male than a normal female. Tall, narrow-hipped, and leggy is the standard they push and that happens to be the shape I have.

    Does this mean that I'm somehow more attractive than a GG? Of course not! I will occasionally have a GG in a dressing room say something like "I wish I was tall enough to wear that!" but that isn't a comparison of her looks and mine, simply a comment on my height. I point out to the commenter that there are many dresses that I cannot wear because they are either too short or not long-waisted enough for me. Looking good in a long maxidress does not fully make up for all the "normal" dresses I have to pass up.
    Eryn
    "These girls have the most beautiful dresses. And so do I! How about that!" [Kaylee, in Firefly] [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    "What do you care what other people think?" [Arlene Feynman, to her husband Richard]
    "She's taller than all the women in my family, combined!" [Howard, in The Big Bang Theory]
    "Tall, tall girl. The woman could hunt geese with a rake!" [Mary Cooper, in The Big Bang Theory]

  14. #14
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    I was always told i had better looking legs them some real girls, in fact i had one girl tell me she would kill to have legs like mine xx

  15. #15
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    Lisa,
    I think it's a valid question it's good to see a GG pose this one !
    I would think there's some truth in our partners thinking this way, it may not always be out of jealousy but possibly more our of frustration . When we dress we can take the time and effort, we probably spend more time thinking about outfits and possibly enjoy shopping more. I often hear my wife say that will have to do when she's putting on makeup to go out for the day , and she hates clothes shopping . Now she sees my legs shaved she may not like the idea but they do look good, whether she imagines them in stockings and heels and is both upset and envious I don't know but I know she's not happy with her legs !
    As for looking better in lingerie I can't answer that but I much prefer the look without body hair, she's never said she liked my male hair but it may be one of the reasons why GGs don't like us shaving it off , we can never look feminine with it no matter how pretty the underwear.

  16. #16
    Claire Claire Cook's Avatar
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    Hi Lisa,

    I think Eryn is right on here. Just as women come in a wonderful variety of body shapes and can find clothes that work with a given shape, we have to as well. Many of us probably wear clothes that really don't work with broad shoulders and no hips (Twiggy we ain't!), and we stuck with male brows and chins, try as we might to hide them! And we probably wear too much makeup. I know that I don't try to look better than a GG, but if I can come off as a reasonable facsimile of same, that's enough for me.

    I certainly don't try to compete with my wife; if anything, we try to help each other with our looks.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC] Proud member of the Lacey Leigh Fan Club

  17. #17
    AKA Lexi sometimes_miss's Avatar
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    I think it all just goes to show the great variety of bodies that both men and women have. Serena Williams (and a few in the WNBA) could put many men to shame (me included) as far as being strong and fit. Andrea (nee Andrej) Petkovic, Tula, and probably quite a few others have bodies that lots of women would envy. My ex wife once asked me if I had the chance, would I like to have a body like Paulina Porizkova. I said sure, but you didn't offer me Arnold Schwarzenegger or I would have taken that one. She still divorced me because she was so sure that I was TS and that I'd transition. Oh well.
    Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
    There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
    Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.

  18. #18
    Platinum Member alwayshave's Avatar
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    The other night, after my fiancee had had a few, she asked me what I was doing. I said I was reading this forum. She stated, "I know all those guys think they look better than natural women." I know she is insecure sometimes, seems she would not be the only one.

  19. #19
    Reality Check
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    I think that if a crossdresser thinks he looks better (as a woman) than a genetic woman, he is fooling himself. Perhaps some crossdressers look better than some women, but 90% of us would not.

    Picture Caitlyn Jenner for a moment.

  20. #20
    Gold Member NicoleScott's Avatar
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    My wife is a full-time woman living in the real world. She wears a rather unflattering uniform to work and dresses comfortably elsewhere. I like to make up and dress over the top for few hours occasionally in my fantasy dressup sessions. Sure, I look "better" but only for a very tiny portion of time.

  21. #21
    There's that smile! CarlaWestin's Avatar
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    My wife's therapist (female w/gender credentials) actually suggested that my crossdressing might cause an irritation of female competition in the house. Like I needed something else to keep DADT alive. It's really just is two people enjoying each other's happiness. But, I generally disagree with most things therapists have to say.
    I've waited so long for this time. Makeup is so frustrating. Shaking hands and I look so old. This was a mistake.
    My new maid's outfit is cute. Sure fits tight.
    And then I step into the bedroom and in the mirror, I see a beautiful woman looking back at me.
    Smile, Honey! You look fabulous!

  22. #22
    Reality Check
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    A therapist (like a business consultant) is someone you pay to say what you want him/her to say.

  23. #23
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    Two Kinds Of Therapist !

    Hi Carla, There two kinds of therapist,

    The ones that tells you what you want to hear,

    And the ones that tells your wife what she wants to hear.
    Last edited by BLUE ORCHID; 08-07-2015 at 07:48 AM.
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  24. #24
    Martini Girl Katey888's Avatar
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    First of all, I don't think many of us treat this as a competition, but there are probably some...

    Secondly - for this forum particularly - there are a fair number of folk who begin to find their femme feet in their mid-40s and beyond. Realistically, males tend to be in better physical shape than females at this age forward and as Eryn has already pointed out, a slimmer-hipped figure can tend to make one appear younger, as can a lack of cellulite...

    Finally - aren't most of us trying hard to look good and utilising all the skill, guile and materiel we can bring into play..? As people here are keen to point out, few women make a big effort at this age unless it's a special occasion - whereas for us, every occasion is special... I doubt many of us would look in the least convincing with our own hair, no padding, no false lashes, and minimal makeup... if I was banned from 'artificial aids' I doubt I'd be sharing any photos quite as much...

    You make a good point about those with wives and partners though - of course it's important to keep communicating so that this can't become an issue...

    Katey x
    "Put some lipstick on - Perfume your neck and slip your high heels on
    Rinse and curl your hair - Loosen your hips, and get a dress to wear"
    Stefani Germanotta

  25. #25
    Adyson Saikotsu's Avatar
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    I've had three gg's remark that they envy my ability to apply nail polish. I even had a gm compliment me on my nails. Every time I felt so thrilled that I had impressed them because it meant I was "doing it right"
    I enjoy their envy, but I also like to point out that I'm envious of them too. Sure I can put on nail polish cleaner than they can. But they can wear it out into public without fear of being accosted for it.

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