do we pass as women or just man in dress? that pople putup whith us
do we pass as women or just man in dress? that pople putup whith us
I sometimes do pass quite well. Sometimes I don't. Yet people have called me miss every time.
Part Time Girl
I wonder about this too. But does it really matter if it is "passing" or "acceptance"? Perhaps there is very little difference between the two.
Hugs,
Persephone.
"If you are living the life you want to live you've successfully transitioned to being the person you want to be." - Eryn.
"If you truly care about me you should damn well want for me what I want for myself" - Michael Westen (Burn Notice)
-.-. --.-/-.-. --.-/-.-. -../ Persephone™ and Persephone™ are trademarks of Persephone herself, accept no substitutes. The terms "en femme" and "en drab" originated with Marcia Sampson/Staylace (OBM).
Persephone I think your right, at times it can be good and times it can be bad but I try to be realistic about things, in this case it's telling me that I'm clearly not going to be seen as a woman, but adding to that it is also saying people are more accepting, unwilling to insult or are more supportive, perhaps all 3.
♫I cant stand to fly, I'm not that naive. I'm just out to find the better part of me. I'm more than a bird, I'm more than a plane, I'm more than some pretty face beside a train. Its not easy to be me.♫
I've passed quite well in public.
Melissa: "... and why are you dressed as a woman?"
Coach McGuirk: "Because it's freeing."
-Home Movies
(cartoon series)
Shoe size: 9 US women's.
Dress size: M to L; 8-10.
Height: 5' 6".
Maybe pass from afar but close up no but then again behavior and mannerisms help. As far as I'm concerned they have to put up with me because I'm not going away any time soon. As long as any confrontation doesn't turn violent we can go our merry way.
"you are a strange species and there are many out there;shall I tell you what I find beautiful about you ,you are at your best when things are at their worst" ...[ Starman]
It may of course be a bit disturbing to sense that one is really not so firmly anchored to the gender one was born into.
you are correct sometimes you pass sometimes you don't.
but mostly people just don't care.
TO OVER WEIGHT TO POST A PHOTO, MY wife tells me I look like I am pregnant
From the back I have been mistaken for a women since the late 80's. With my hair being as long as it is people just assume I'm a women. I gotta tell ya, it got me a lot of free drinks before the guy saw my face
Till this day I still get mistaken because of my hair. And I think I clean up pretty nicely. And as the saying goes, they hate to see me leave but they love to watch me walk away
Honest, I know some women that dont pass, lol. For me I think it is more just about social acceptance than anything.
Erica
It depends on the lighting :-) But for me really no I don't pass super well without a lot of work.
I can pass really well but nobody passes once someone is up close. I was told by a woman that if I was shorter than my 6' then I'd have zero problem.
Only in my dreams. While I try really hard, make up, wig, mannerisms, I'm a 6'2 male in a dress.
Please call me Jamie, I always_have crossdressed, I always will, "alwayshave".
While at a visitor center recently, a tall woman walked in. Mini skirt, great legs, cleavage top and great boobs (they seemed natural). Then she spoke in a deep voice and sounded like Louis Armstrong, giving it away. But she carried herself as if she owned the place. So no one said anything. Key observation - she had confidence and didn't care.
Ineke
I know I am a man in a dress but if someone finds that attractive.....that would make me happy!
No regrets except I should have got dressed & stepped out sooner.
I really don't care if I pass or if it is just acceptance. The only person I aim to please is myself. As long as I'm treated nice I'm OK with it.
Hell-o Slamddoger,
I've recently been told by 2 GG's, one a therapists wife, and the other a hairdresser, that I pass.
And then I said "thank you"! (The smoke faded, and the mirrors stopped reflecting)
It really doesn't matter, if your comfortable enough to be out, and someone sees you as a "dude in a dress". So what!
As long as your going about your business, being polite, and acting respectful, anyone that has issues with you just being you, has there own problems to deal with.
And really... Don't you just "put up" with people all the time?
Much Love,
Kristyn
I smile because you are my friend, and
I laugh because there is nothing you can do about it!!!
I can pass,sometimes I don't but the bottom line is I am still a man in a dress
I get read a lot lately...but as a chic...when I'm in drab...good thing I'm OK with it 😯
I gather you're asking how others perceive you? I think it depends on the person and what they believe this is all about.
People who understand will respect that you feel feminine and they will accept that when you dress you want to be treated as a woman. People who don't understand will see you as a man in a dress. They won't understand your motives.
Reine
I will settle for being accepted and treated politely-I do not mind being mistaken for a lady
If you're not sure whether or not u have passed? U've PASSED!
As someone who never passes, take my word for it. People treat u completely different if they take u for a female without a second thot.
It's happened to me a few times at Halloween. There's huge difference in being snickered at, tolerated, treated overly polite, or ignored as someone that is not a bonafide female and passing!
Last edited by docrobbysherry; 09-01-2015 at 11:31 PM.
U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.
Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!
Perhaps there is a third option: indifference. There is no need to react to everything one encounters on the street. Over the years I've run into some people who feel it is necessary to formulate an opinion about everything. It really annoys some people when I indicate I do not have an opinion. I suspect many cross dressers are operating under the illusion they are "passing" because there is no obvious recognition. In the last several years I have seen two very very unpassable cross dressers in my small city, one twice. In the three encounters I searched the faces of the people approaching or around them, and, nobody gave them a glance let alone a second look. It really is possible for the brain to receive information process it and store it without making a big deal about it.
depends on the down... i only pass if it's 3rd and long, otherwise i run!
the pats might have won the superbowl if they followed that theory...
paula
There's often too much emphasis in crossdressing communities on passing. If by "passing," one means that a significant majority of people, upon encountering us in public (no bad/low lighting to help us out, not from across a parking lot, eveybody's sober, etc.) would never even suspect that we're male, then no, hardly any of us pass. I'm OK with that. But when I say there's too much emphasis on it, I mean that I've seen/participated in CD communities where the passers (many of whom actually identified as transgender rather than crossdressers, and were on HRT, etc.) have been showered with attention, with a weird undercurrent that they're what everyone else should be aspiring to be. In other words, passing just becomes a vehicle by which CD communities can judge and discriminate on the basis of looks. In that case, I suppose those who crossdress out of a sense of wanting to "be" women are getting just that, though likely not in a manner they wanted or expected.
Some CDs are fortunate enough (fortunate, that is, if passing is important to them in the first place) to have less obviously masculine features. They're shorter, their frames and feet are smaller, their jawlines are softer, their shoulders are narrower and less square, their bodies are less hairy, their adam's apples are less prominent, their hands are softer and smaller, their body fat isn't as prominently collected around their bellies, etc. But that actually doesn't describe the majority of CDs I've seen. Most of us have some dead giveaway features that make it pretty clear that we're men.
I think the majority of the time that crossdressers out in public get treated as women (e.g., referred to by female pronouns, etc.), it's done out of courtesy (or perhaps just not wanting to be an asshole or come off as possibly anti-trans); in most cases, even the folks saying "miss" and "ma'am" to us have a pretty good inkling that we're biologically male. And, as others have pointed out, most folks actually don't care that much. I'm sure all sorts of people have snickered or said/whispered things about me behind my back once I'm out of sight/earshot. That doesn't bother me, but I also don't extrapolate from the fact that nobody does so to my fact as evidence that I'm passing.