So, I am out on the back porch smoking a Virginia Slims (as recommended by one of the lovely ladies on this site) with an 1 hour and 15 minutes(or so I thought) before my son gets home from school. Well, little did I know that he would be released early today. So, I hear his car alarm tweet as he is walking to the front door. At that moment a fear shot down my spine like never before. Fortunately, I locked the front door to which he doesn't have a key and as I am rushing across the living room past the glass front door he starts ringing the door bell! I dart past and into the shower I go full on dressed!
So he goes around back and comes through the back door as I am ripping my face off in the shower removing makeup and putting my wig, butt pads, boobs, shoes, pants, shirt, bra, panties, gaff, jewelry, false eyelashes (I think that about covers it) in the corner trying not to get them wet. Meanwhile he comes into my bedroom as I am in the shower and says "it smells like smoke in here, are you smoking"(no one in my household smokes except for me when I am dressed). I said "no I am in the shower and will be out in a minute". As I dry off leaving my outfit in the shower I realized(in the panic) that I had brought the can which I use as an ashtray(since no one smokes) in the house with me. I didn't have any water in it so the cigarette was still burning in the can in the closet like an incense candle. I quickly put on my boy clothes grabbed the can and put water in it.
Then after halfway calming down, I went out to the living room and he comes back downstairs and says "are you sure you haven't been smoking?". I told him "I'm pretty sure I would know if I was smoking and no I wasn't". He said "hmmm it sure does smells like it" I asked him if he had been to the hooka bar (knowing that he had once with his friend) and he said "no" and quickly said "I'm going to lunch with my GF" diversion successful. So, thank goodness he didn't say anything thing like "why was there a women darting through the living room and where did she go?" I guess he didn't think anything was up other than an odd smoke smell. However, now I have to figure a way to get the smell of cigarettes out of our closet! That was way to close!
Any other closeted ladies with close calls?