Which came first cross dressing or being bisexual

[mical7]

I was around 18 or 19 living at home. I had no privaticy at all plus I never had my parents house to my self .In addition hiding womens clothes inside was out of the question. I knew Walter from across the street was gay and very layed back. Well one day I went over too his house and explained my problem. I asked him if I could keep some clothes at his place and dress there. He was very happy to help me out. I even got Walter to buy me why first outfit I much too scared too do it myself. Well the day came I called him he had my unitard and leg warmers I wanted. I didn't want anything to happen sexual but well it did. I just wanted some where to dress not gay sex. Up too this point I was completey straight It became a 3 too 4 time a month trip to Walters and could get all the clothes I wanted and I did. I know I am not the only one who has some sexual response to cross dressing so that's what I passed it off as. Has anybody else had this feeling

[Fiona123]

I suspect it's different for each of us. For me cross dressing can be sexual, depends on my mood. My sexual orentation is straight not bi. My gender is trans not cis.

[pantyhoselvr kendra]

I started wearing my moms things at age 8. I knew at the same time that i was different from all the other boys i went to school with. I just didnt know what or why. My mom told me that she noticed that i liked boys. I liked paying with my sister, her friends and their dolls. At 13 I had a friend like me, we both knew, and spent the summer dressed in his mothers and my lingerie. It eventually became sexual and he was my first lover. A summer i will never forget. At our ten year reunion we ended up back in bed. I had a threesome with him and my wife. I want it again but my wife said once was enough for her

[Jaylyn]

I think my cross dressing sometimes might be a sexually stimulating thing. At my age I think it's great for it to be just that but I also feel I am meeting my inner self or as some say getting in touch with your feminine side. I am straight but when wife and I had our fling with experimenting in many sexual activities we pretty much tried a little bit of everything. Won't go into any explicit activities we tried but it has made us stronger for growing sexually together. Left us some great memories we sometimes regret but mostly find just thinking about them sometimes adds to the excitement today. My cross dressing came first also.

[AllieSF]

I don't think that either is causal for the other. I can see how they can happen close together and maybe in specific cases as in yours, Mical, that to get to the goal of dressing safely you got involved in a same sex situation. Are you Bi now, or was that a one person only situation?

Being gay or lesbian is there from the beginning. I believe that being Bi is also there from the beginning. One may need a stimulus to realize what they are and that may only happen late in life. Just depends on the person and their life.

[karynspanties]

I started wearing girls clothes and getting into my moms slips when I was about 4 years old. I knew nothing about sex.....so crossdressing came first.

[Tracii G]

Funny how people assume CDing has something to do with being gay.
Out of all my gay friends I'm the only one that is TG and CD's.
As long as he didn't force the sex then you were up for it correct?

[Jenni Yumiko]

I agree with tracii g, however in my case I have one gay cd friend the rest are straight, married or in hetero relationships, including myself. Not to say I haven't tried, have to try everything once or twice, that's what life's about.

[mical7]

oh yes I knew in the back of mind what was going to happen I just couldnt help myself I so enjoyed dressing up so I kept going back over I think the gay sex just grew on m

[SIZE=1]- - - Updated - - -[/SIZE]

After I moved out on my own quickly realized I was going to be able too explore sexual activities with other cds which I did plus dressing in your own home is very freeing. Plus I was able to start going out in public dressed

[Confucius]

I've been crossdressing for as long as I can remember. I can recall being 3-4 years old and crossdressing. It had nothing to do with sex. I just thought that being a girl was better. I thought that my mother would love me better if I was a girl. At the same time I always knew I was a boy.

I've never had any bisexual interests, ever, at all. So my sexual orientation is - straight. My gender identification is - male. However my childhood was marked with some gender dysphoria.

I guess there are many paths that result in crossdressing.

[docrobbysherry]

I don't believe crossdressing can make u gay. Altho, quite a number of girls here say they r attracted to men or other T's ONLY when they r dressed!

Sex is VERY MUCH involved in my dressing. However, anything that looks or acts male, or has male parts, is a turn off for me!

I've read stats here that say the % of gay CD's is comparable to the % of gays in the entire male population.

[TrishaTX]

I know I dressed first but they have gone hand in hand for me forever. I love to dress and it still has sexual undertones for me ...some of which are Bi.

[Diane Smith]

It sounds to me like Walter was able to turn your predicament to his own advantage by controlling access to your clothes in exchange for sex. Not a very healthy arrangement, I think. Was he significantly older than you at the time?

- Diane

[Maria Blackwood]

I came out bisexual in college. Crossdressing came years later, and is completely unrelated.

[Julie MA]

Began cross-dressing around the same time I started to feel sexual. But I didn't know what sex was, just that I got aroused, etc. While learning about sex, from discussions with friends and finally some info from dad, around age 12, I was convinced I was hetero. Then in high school I had gay/bi thoughts, and acted on them with a probably 30 yr old man, when I was 19. CD was still just an opportunity based activity. No real interest. Now 54 yrs old, I have had plenty of hetero, and casual gay/bi sex. Only over the past 3-4 years have I begun to explore CDing more, buying my own, going out. It is still somewhat sexual but I am now enjoying the social aspect of it, and finally feeling that it is a part of me that I accept and embrace. Coming out to my wife Nov 2016 was the biggest help in my feeling fully good with it. Can't remember who said it, but there is a quote something like, you can only hide the real you for so long before you don't know the real you anymore.

[GretchenM]

The conventional wisdom is that your sex, your gender identity, and your sexual orientation are separate entities. I am not completely convinced that is true in all respects. That seems simplistic and mechanical to me. I think it is clear that all three interact in complex ways and if they interact they are hardly separate. We are a complex of a vast array of traits and characteristics and those often influence each other. Sex is our biological foundation and primarily intended for reproduction only. But some animals, especially humans, use sex for recreational purposes as well as reproductive. Having same sex activity is fairly widespread in mammals, although not the usual in most species. Thus if a male feels, at some particular moment, they are female with regard to gender it seems to me there should be a tendency to follow the sexual orientation characteristic of females. Actually following through with that thinking or tendency is another matter, but it seems to me that kind of thinking and action is entirely possible and natural.

So bisexual behavior in a CD seems logical in a pure sense, but perhaps not in a practical sense. Other things such as faithfulness to a mate and the like may modify that gender - bisexual connection to a huge extent, but the thought and a hint of desire may still be there. So, I don't think the path you took was wrong or even weird. And I am not sure that in your mind CD preceded bisexual or the other way around. In you they may have already been joined but not expressed and it took a particular situation to bring it out.

The point of all this is that I am not so sure we can so easily separate sex, gender, and sexual orientation as if they are separate gears in a machine. We aren't machines. We are biological organisms and as a biologist I know all too well that everything in us is connected to everything else and the whole changes, adapts, evolves, experiments and, in general, interacts with such complexity it is hard to even decipher the pathways because the pathways are constantly changing. We are generally alike, but the individual is defined by the details and the possible combinations are almost infinite. I agree that if Walter forced you or manipulated you into having sex, that was wrong. But whether forced or not, you responded positively and with reasonable comfort with the new experience. Thus that possible pathway was perhaps already available even though not activated until you experienced it. A pre-disposition of gender variance AND a pre-disposition toward bisexual orientation that once experienced became active? Sure makes sense to me, but not all gender variant people also have a bisexual predisposition. Thus, considering the three BIG ONES as being separate doesn't make a lot of sense to me. To me, they form an interactive complex and that makes far more sense with respect to our biology and our other behaviors. We do things as an experiment and often, but not always, we find it satisfies some previously unrecognized need. But that is also the entry to the road to addiction and other undesirable behaviors based on needs that are not real.

I know this is all very intellectual, but as a biologist I often feel a need to present the biological point of view regarding who we are, as humans, and how things like gender variance, sexual orientation variance, and many, many other things often have biological foundations that may have evolved for a reason and may well persist even though the original function of that tool is no longer needed. But, simple explanations such as sex, gender, and orientation being separate entities rarely survive when the biological and evolutionary perspectives are incorporated. Just my point of view.

[deebra]

For some that are deeply into CDing, dress completely as a woman and like to think of themselves as a woman when dressed isn't it reasonable for them to carry the woman thing further by wanting to be the woman in a male /female relationship. Of course the CD woman would want a man to do the things a woman does with a man. This would help her validate her female role more so. A lot of sexual activity can be tried, maybe disliked at first but the more it's done the person begins to enjoy and desire it.

Then their are the CDers that just like the clothes and the clothes don't push their sexual "button".

[Happygirl!]

Gretchen M,
Totally agree. We try to classify our CD/Trans world into simple discrete categories, but nature or the biological world is not so simple. I also try to look at things from an evolutionary perspective, but I digress. Even in the physical sciences where it's easier to put things into simple black and white categories, we are constantly surprised and find that this is often not possible. Just look at quantum phenomenon for example. But back to the subject, I believe many of us may have bi curiosities, but leave these things locked up in the box for the various reasons you have said.

[Mayo]

The conventional wisdom is that your sex, your gender identity, and your sexual orientation are separate entities. I am not completely convinced that is true in all respects. That seems simplistic and mechanical to me. I think it is clear that all three interact in complex ways and if they interact they are hardly separate. We are a complex of a vast array of traits and characteristics and those often influence each other.

I agree - I think they do remain relatively independent. . That said, I believe that people who are not strictly binary in their gender identity (including some - but not all - CDs) have a higher probability of being bisexual. A few polls here and other research backs me up on this, but I don't know that it's been rigorously investigated.

[Stephanie47]

I started wearing girls clothes and getting into my moms slips when I was about 4 years old. I knew nothing about sex.....so crossdressing came first.

Same here, but, a decade and a half sooner. I too had no idea about sex. I grew up in the 1950's and 1960's. Sex had not been invented yet. Playboy was about as risque as there was back then. Lucy and Desi slept in separate beds per morality code of television. I dabbled in my mother's slips with absolutely no sexual motivation. I loved the feel of nylon. When puberty set in and I started to notice girls which was junior high school the thought I could be gay, although the terms were a lot more vulgar then, confused me. Back then wearing women's clothing = being gay. My late teens were racked with sexual confusion. I really envy kids who were raised in the computer age.

I suspect you would have turned out gay whether or not you were attracted to women's clothing. I suspect Walter used your desires for wearing women's clothing for his own sexual interests.

[mona lisa]

I have been crossdressing on and off since I was about nine or ten. As I have said before, when dressed in my adult years especially, I have had a bit of bi curiosity from time to time. At the same time, I do not find men attractive. I think when dressed its more the idea than anything else.

[mical7]

For some that are deeply into CDing, dress completely as a woman and like to think of themselves as a woman when dressed isn't it reasonable for them to carry the woman thing further by wanting to be the woman in a male /female relationship. Of course the CD woman would want a man to do the things a woman does with a man. This would help her validate her female role more so. A lot of sexual activity can be tried, maybe disliked at first but the more it's done the person begins to enjoy and desire it.

Then their are the CDers that just like the clothes and the clothes don't push their sexual "button".

well put well said

[Lacy PJs]

Perhaps you didn't intend it that way but your title suggests that one necessarily follows the other. I think that many here (including me) would not see the connection. While I'm sure that there are crossdressers who are bisexual and bisexuals who crossdress, there are probably many more who practice one lifestyle but don't venture into the other camp.

Lacy PJs

[mical7]

Lacy PJs good point i agree

[Jenniferathome]

...I believe that people who are not strictly binary in their gender identity (including some - but not all - CDs) have a higher probability of being bisexual. A few polls here and other research backs me up on this, b...

this is the definition of drawing a conclusion one wants and NOT supported by actual data. Higher probability? What does that mean?!?! You are pointing to a cause and effect which is complete nonsense. Cross dressing and sexual preference are completely unrelated and you can see THAT every day here.