Very true Teresa.
Very true Teresa.
My very first public outing is in less than two weeks so this is a timely question that made me turn a bit introspective. With so many good responses it's difficult to come up with something that hasn't already been said so all I can do is say it in what I think is my own way.
I guess, for me, it is part naughty, part revolution, part in-your-face, part expression of what I feel inside. Most of all it is the girl wanting to be perceived as a woman by others whether they are in the community or not.
Those thing may not happen at all but they're definitely not going to happen if I stay home. I'm ready for the "may not" versus the "definitely not".
Lauren
Lauren Nicole DeHart
Call me Nikki
Crissy Its all a matter of personal choice. I gave my reasons why I go out.Originally Posted by Crissy Kay
Its not compulsory. Also no one should be made to feel put down here for any reason.
Because from a psychological & sociological perspective, it was a total mind-trip.
"See how the other half lives" is an expression typically reserved for the wealth/class divide. For me, it was regarding gender.
Why not go out? I've only been out a couple of times and it's been a positive experience. No one pointed and laughed, didn't get any dirty looks. Most people didn't seem to even notice.
I go out dressed because I can and I want to. I am a crossdresser, it's what I am, I can't change that. To not go out as me would be unacceptable. Granted it was not so easy at first, I fell prey to the same insecurities and shame as others here. But each time out got easier and also showed me that people don't really care that you are dressed in women's clothes. I used to attract a lot of attention when I presented as a man in a dress, now that I've embraced wearing a wig I just blend in more. I don't "pass" on close examination but that doesn't matter. I present as a woman except at work. I am separated so I don't have to worry what the wife thinks, she was very accepting anyway, my son knows and is accepting also as are my siblings. I don't care what the neighbors think or anyone else does. I enjoy going out to bars and clubs and being sociable and I receive many compliments and I can tell you it is an mega ego boost. Some here are content just dressing in the home and that is cool for them but this genie is out of the bottle and going back in is not an option.
Why go out? Why stay home???? When you go out, you can breathe, staying home is stifling.
Crissy,
While it's true that there is the occasional catty put-down of this or that group that is considered "less than" by another, I wouldn't call it "constant" by any stretch. I wonder if you mistake the encouragement of others to let go of their fear and venture out as something other than that. I do that for the girls here who need it, for those who want to do more than dress at home. Please don't think that we think any less of someone who does not want that. Honest, sweetie. You are just fine the way you are and you should not let anyone here make you feel otherwise, intentionally or not.
Hugs,
Kelly Marie
I go out because, Why should I be restricted? I'm not trying to prove anything, or put on a show. As for statements, the only one I'm trying to make is "This is me, and I'm no threat to you."
Being involved with a crossdressing social group for nearly 15 years, I could tell you that I have listened to more reasons for crossdressers to not go out than the common assumptions like the fear factor. Like one reason already expressed within this thread where there is nothing in the interest of the person to do out of the house. Perhaps people should start listening to all voices in the community.
Hey another princess. Hi princess chantal. I love going out. I love feeling cute. I always make sure to smile and be social like i normally am. Its not as scary once you get used to it
basically the whole concept of 'boys clothes' and 'girl clothes ' is a social construct`. I guess it's kind of like 'if a tree falls in the forrest with no one around to hear it, does it make a sound?" or...If you lived in a society of one, there'd be no male/female distinction concerning clothes. So the whole point of crossdressing is to present as what our culture has decided women 'should ' wear. When you sit at home it's not really 'crossdressing', it's just 'dressing'
I'm not in the closet and go out socially a few times a month. I don't see any reason to criticize someone that doesn't go out because there isn't any kind of hierarchy like some here like to think. Some live in the closet their whole life.. not by their choice. And those that don't have a reason to go out, stay home to avoid the stress... I totally get that.
Kate
Why go out? AS being a non-binary most of the time. It is so nice to be fem and out and about. Why, Can't really answer that but the freedom to be yourself is liberating. There is a theater here and I never been there as a male. So nice to be in a skirt, heels and being part of the ladies that are out there.
Part Time Girl
Because we are members of society! Also, what's Self Expression without an audience?
Last edited by gender_blender; 04-26-2017 at 10:19 AM.
Hiya Princess Zelia Prime! I love going out as well. Matter of fact the majority of my dressing is to socialize out. However, I do respect those that don't go out and tend to try my hardest to not make assumptions on why they don't.
Last edited by Princess Chantal; 04-26-2017 at 10:56 AM.
Crissy,
I hope any post I make never implies that anyone who chooses to stay within their own four walls is in some way wrong. As in my original question let me try to use another metaphor to explain why those of us who have been out wax lyrical about it.
You've been around the supermarket many times and each time walked past a particular brand of biscuits without ever a thought of buying a packet. Then at a friends house, over coffee you're offered one with the proviso, "Try one of these but I warn you they're more'ish". You try one and next thing you know you want another, more'ish.
That's as well as I can explain why I would encourage someone contemplating going out to do it. It may well leave a "bad taste" to continue the metaphor or it could become a regular purchase. You won't know until you try one. But if biscuits aren't your thing that's fine. Doughnut anyone?
Who dares wears Get in, get out without being noticed
If that were true and/or you actually believed it, you (we) wouldn't derive such a distinct and profound preference for the 'other half's' singularly different attire. It is a social construct - one whose violation gives us our oxygen. Don't be trying to boil out and sanitize the feminine pleasures out of crossing over or the beautiful differences that make it so sweet and tart. They're the very spice of the escapade!
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Sorry, forgot to add that that's so whether we do it in private or not. In public it's another thing altogether. It's misguided to want to be accepted for our sameness which is a fallacy, but being treated kindly instead of with fear and hate for our differences and aberrations would make the world better. I'll stay in thank you, it's too much to hope for unless you can really blend.
Interesting question. I go out because I want to and have the confidence to do so. Like many on this site it was baby steps starting with drinks in a hotel bar through to dinner, to travelling to a hotel, to walking around a town, to going out for dinner. Yet to come is trying on a dress, traveling by train / plane and maybe one day (though unlikely) walking around my own neighborhood! I find it interesting that I am happy to show myself to those I don't know (judge all you like) but am not being honest about who i am with those i know. This is based to some extent on the reaction of those I have shown.
Now when we the older generation started we didn't have the affirmation of a community on the www so we didn't share experiences or learn from others. If i was starting over now I'd be out more and more open from a young age. It would allow others to see who I was and I'd get to know those who liked me as i was.
Steffi, maybe that's a part of it too, verifying to yourself that you are not the only person who does this? That last bit of knowledge of seeing someone face to face.
I simply want to go about my business. I don't need a reason to go out wearing jeans and a T-shirt, why should I need a reason to go out wearing a skirt and blouse??
Karen
It makes it so much easier to try on and buy clothes. You get first hand feed back from SA's and it allows you to go where men are not allowed.
This is a thread that I found to be very thought provoking. I found myself agreeing with something that just about everyone said. For me I guess it that going out gives me a sense of freedom at being the real me. The real me has been hidden so long. The sunshine feels good.
Don't think I have chimed in on this yet
Well to me the obvious reason is its fun to go out and do things sitting at home in front of a mirror looking at a TV gets really boring after a while no matter how good the show is. The other reasons are we, humans, are social animals so we want to interact. We, has CD's, at least this one wants to see how well we "pass" Social interaction is fun
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]Sallee
I go out because that's where the "and about" is.
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