The first thing that I picked up on in your post was that "we are not having a great time"
Before even thinking about disclosure I would be working through at sorting out that first. Like a lot of the married people on here I have been through the stages of marriage, it isn't always roses but one thing that I have learned is to finish up one problem/project before starting a new project.
As for your family, being young isn't a barrier as they see dad in underwear, dress, wig or makeup from a early age they don't tend to question it later, it gives more acceptance to the (your) cause and saves soooo much stress for the rest of your life in regards to CD'ing. Your wife's response is as only what you can gauge and that would be the greatest stress/trust in the process. But please repair, fix, prepare everything else first.
all the best in this challenge. gina
