So after quite a few conversations with my wife I am happy to say that no, I am not in a dadt situation. In fact quite the opposite. I find I have been reading her all wrong. She is very much on board with everything about me. In fact, last month for our anniversary, she bought me flowers and a gorgeous necklace. Then she surprised the heck out of me and took me shopping. We spent almost 2 hours picking out clothes for each other. No nervousness or judgment. She assured me that she loves everything about me and she's even becoming more comfortable with herself because of our "girls nights" together. She's been trying different clothes that she never felt comfortable in before, wears dresses and makeup more often and now that we've started painting our nails together she is doing that more often. Its amazing what happens when I pull my head out of my butt and just listen. I have one amazing wife and she just keeps getting better.