Quote Originally Posted by SaraLin View Post
I'd like to give a small warning here. It's easy to look for and find some "cause" for our dressing, but it just might not really be what did it.
And - trying to find a "cause" tends to suggest that there might be a way to "fix" or "cure" it.
Not too likely.


To show you what I'm talking about, take what happened with me:

Like you, I had a father that thought I was no good. He even frequently told me I would never amount to anything.
I remember swearing that when I grew up, I'd be NOTHING like him.
How easy would it be to say that I extended that to mean that I even rejected my own male-ness, or at least masculinity?

BUT

I can remember that I always wanted to be a girl - even before all this started.
And since I can't blame the effect on a cause that hadn't happened yet, I had to think about things again.

Nowadays, I think his hostility toward me was BECAUSE of my 'girly-ness', not the other way around.
I wasn't the rough-and-tumble "chip off the block" he was looking for. I was too soft, too sensitive, too much "like my mother" - and I now believe that he couldn't (or wouldn't) deal with it.
I see your point and thank you. I guess I'm not really looking for a reason, it was just something my therapist had asked me. I was always the boys boy, playing in the mud, playing sports, doing the rough and tumble you speak of. I don't know why I took a liking to the feminine, soft clothes, but they are very soothing for me nonetheless. Ive never wanted to be a girl, I just always thought girls clothes are far superior to mens clothes in every way (fabrics, styles, colors, etc).