Are we biased?

[btmgrl6]

Since this is a cd' forum.....as was intended, are our opinions biased towards our female side. If so , how much credence can we attach to answers given to those with serious issues who come here for help with a problem that could have
could have serious consequences? maybe a problem that needs to have both sides expressed.
I've posted a couple of threads and some of the replys were what basically the reason that I have posted this one.
i can't put myself in my SO's shoes,I can't think like a male any longer, I think like a girl, so I can't answer that....
So... your opinions? Are we able to give an unbiased answer.. while if fem mode?

steph

[Ms. Donna]

i can't put myself in my SO's shoes, I can't think like a male any longer, I think like a girl, so I can't answer that....

You absolutely can put yourself in your SO's shoes.

Most of the relationship issues are not so much about the CDing as they are about trust, honesty, compassion, caring, etc:

• We violate their trust by hiding this and by not having been upfront about it.
• We are dishonest when we promise to stop - knowing full well that if we could, we would have already.
• We become self-absorbed and consumed by our 'need' to dress up - forgetting that there is another person in the relationship - our wives / GF/ SOs...
• We want them to accept this outright while not considering the mindf**k we've just given them.
• We care more about our needs than theirs.
• ...

You get the idea.

It is not difficulty to imagine having someone close in our lives who has an addiction, a 'sordid' past - something that they have felt the need to keep hidden. Now you find out... Perhaps your SO used to be a prostitute? How would you feel? How would you react? What if she was hiding an addiction? What would you do? Would you feel betrayed? Lied to? As if maybe you don't really know this person?

It's not about thinking like a man or women - it's about thinking like a person.

And that's something we all have the capacity to do.

Love & Stuff,
Donna

[Karren H]

I guess like anything else in the world.....Peoples opinions on a problem are going to biased one way or the other (pro or con) and its up to the reader to take all the opinions in and sort out what makes sence and what doesn't. From what I've seen there are no clearcut answers to many of the problems posted here. Ohhhhh and I don't consider that I have any serious problems so you can give credence to everything I say (grin). LOL. And don't think I am biased towards my female side over my male side unless your talking about shopping!!!

Love Karren

[Julie York]

Crossdressers wear clothing that society classes as female. They don't have a lobotomy when they dress up.

It's the internet. If someone says "Shall I jump over a cliff?" then what is the consequences I would suffer if I say, "Hell yeah why not."

(I wouldn't say that anyway......or would I?)


But then you would also have to be pretty stupid to take the advice against all your instincts. Advice is not an absolute. It's a shading of what you already suspect.

[btmgrl6]

When you have the time please look at my "what if" thread. you'll find some interesting answers.

steph.

[btmgrl6]

Well when you are hurting and unsure you might just grasp at anything in an attempt to find help. In a state of confusion, a person might not be thinking all that clearly. .....Basically you are saying, if you don't know any better and you listen to me.... what ever happens .it's your own fault?


Stepf.

[Faye Emmette]

I try and be fair in all my scriblings and perhaps being a crossdresser can help me be moreso.
If one can have a circumspect view of a situation and use one's own thought processes to analyse the situation, then it will be unbiased.
The product of this will then depend on things like my experience, knowledge and/or wisdom.
And this could be either right or wrong.

[carol ann]

My problem is that when I try to put myself in my wifes's shoes - i cannot think of my enfemme self as anything but weird and not something any normal girl would want anything to do with.

I have to say that most of the gg's who post on this forum must have wonderful levels of understanding and tolerance. it must be terribly difficult being partnered by someone they think of as male who only wnats to show off as a female.

[kwebb]

Lots of time with me, powers of suggestion can be alot stronger than I give them credit.
Sometimes I'll struggle with issues associated with CDing the most when I am the most active on the boards. Once I back away a bit, I seem to do better . Weird.

Sometimes I even wish I was still under the impression that it was only me that did it. The fact that soooo many others cd somehow at times makes it less special to me or somn.
It makes me more apt to look at it as something wrong or sinful, and not an exclusive design God had in mind for me only.

Then at other times, I say wow, this is soooo common, it must be normal. Just a normal part of the spectra of human behavior. I vacilate betwixt those 2 mind-sets.

[suzanne claire]

We would as a group be biased since we represent our female self in this form.Perhaps biased is not the correct word but maybe opinionated would be more appropriate in the context of this thread.It is difficult to be as open minded about crossdressing as it is about certain other aspects of life.

[btmgrl6]

Yes. i did say that this forum caters to our female side, as was intended. I think that it would follow that our opinions would be that of our female self. Anyone can have an opinion, but if the majority of those opinions lean towards the female point of view......we have a bias.
As far as open mindedness in regards to crossdressing.... I haven't a clue as to what that has to do with the thread.
Unless you mean that, being in fem mode, in the fem forum doesn't lend itself to being open minded as to other opinions that might not have the inability to see both sides of the issue. The reason being......we are biased towards our own (fem) opinions on crossdressing....?

I think biased was the correct word .

Steph

[Dana]

I try and be fair in all my scriblings and perhaps being a crossdresser can help me be moreso.
If one can have a circumspect view of a situation and use one's own thought processes to analyse the situation, then it will be unbiased.
The product of this will then depend on things like my experience, knowledge and/or wisdom.
And this could be either right or wrong.

Well said!

[Dana]

Since this is a cd' forum.....as was intended, are our opinions biased towards our female side. If so , how much credence can we attach to answers given to those with serious issues who come here for help with a problem that could have
could have serious consequences? maybe a problem that needs to have both sides expressed.
I've posted a couple of threads and some of the replys were what basically the reason that I have posted this one.
i can't put myself in my SO's shoes,I can't think like a male any longer, I think like a girl, so I can't answer that....
So... your opinions? Are we able to give an unbiased answer.. while if fem mode?steph

Bias? Statistical word. ~ Mathematics ~ "The Absolute Language"

Well, since we as CD's fall on the left hand side of the proverbial bell curve, our perspectives, attitudes, life experinces, etc fall outside of the norm ~ so of course our answers fall outside the noraml "bell curve" which doesn't mean they're not valid!

[btmgrl6]

Nobody said that they are not valid.....IF in a fem forum,where fems are giving opinions that tend to lean toward their feminine point of view (and may I say again ,which is the the whole point of this web site ) would it be safe to say that there is a bias. pretty simple, no magic, no mystry, no hidden meanings. Nobody is being attacked.

Stepf

[Dana]

Nobody said that they are not valid.....IF in a fem forum,where fems are giving opinions that tend to lean toward their feminine point of view (and may I say again ,which is the the whole point of this web site ) would it be safe to say that there is a bias. pretty simple, no magic, no mystry, no hidden meanings. Nobody is being attacked.

Stepf

Not going to get into a "Firefight" with you, but yes we are!

[FionaAlexis]

Yes, we are biased - but I think all human beings have a bias. I think we have group bias towards saying what we think is the 'feminine' thing to say.

I once have joked that if I posted that a university study found that females farted between 5 and 10 times every day - I get 50 responses putting themselves in that range.

I think we are very much about creating this image on forums that we have a feminine personality and feminine reactions. However on TG issues there always seem to be a range of opinions on most subjects - and then often the guard drops.

If you are referring to your 'What if...' hypothetical - I think it is quite difficult for others to get their head around. And CDs/TGs in situations like this Forum and on gender related threads don't think too much beyond their own situation.

Fiona xx

[btmgrl6]

No firefight intended. .....It was just a simple and straight forward question.
And as for how it related to the post. ...

If we have issues with others in our lives and because of our bias, we cannot or will not see the other side of the issue,how in the world can we expect to solve the problem.

Let me ask you this. Do you as a cd have the ability to stop for one second and look at something from another's point of view?

Steph

[btmgrl6]

I am a 24/7 female.I feel that I have successfully exorcised my male brain to the point of near non-existance I have my feminine point of veiw, just like everyone else.I also have my bias's. even so..... i still believe that I can look at an issue from both sides. Are you able to do this?

or......
since I cannot put the shoe on the other foot. I do not have to admit that you have a valid point,and therefore I don't have to answer to it. .......

[FionaAlexis]

...........i still believe that I can look at an issue from both sides. Are you able to do this?
Steph

Yes I believe so, Steph. If you are talking about issues of general interest - then yes I think so. On TG issues - I'm always changing my views because I'm always learning from others experiences.

But I have to say that I can be pretty pig headed on some things too.

Fiona xx

[btmgrl6]

being pig headed is one thing, but being honest with yourself and your So is very different (you in general not personally)

Steph

Does changing your views on tg issues cancel your ability to see ( not saying you have to agree with them) from another standpoint?

If I say that I can see your point ,am I not in essence admitting that this is not just about me? I have some culpability too.

[Kierci]

I dont think the answers are bias, from what I have seen since I have been here the questions have been answered honestly and as truthfully as possible. If the answers have been bias or even resemble bias it would have been a sheer mistake or the question was looking for a bias opinion. So I would have to answer your question non biasly with a No. Thats my 0.02 Probably only worth 1/2 cent.

[btmgrl6]

No one said that the answers were not honest or truthful. those things have nothing to do with being biased. In this case the bias means leaning towards the female point of view. there is nothing wrong with that.....no one is attacking anyone ,no one is saying that someone is right or someone is wrong

Bias....inclination of prejudice in favor of a particular person,thing,or viewpoint

[dancinginthedark]

Since this is a cd' forum.....as was intended, are our opinions biased towards our female side. If so , how much credence can we attach to answers given to those with serious issues who come here for help with a problem that could have
could have serious consequences? maybe a problem that needs to have both sides expressed.
I've posted a couple of threads and some of the replys were what basically the reason that I have posted this one.
i can't put myself in my SO's shoes,I can't think like a male any longer, I think like a girl, so I can't answer that....
So... your opinions? Are we able to give an unbiased answer.. while if fem mode?

steph

Steph~
Sorry for intruding but if I may add my POV? I have posted here when I was just that upset and freaked out by something CD related. My first post here comes to mind. You are correct that a person in that state of mind looking for answers and insight will take whatever answers and insight they can find. I do not in anyway want to imply that GG’s are just foolish enough to take everything said as gospel but a frightened person is vulnerable. And Julie is right I am not likely buy just anything tossed my direction—my instincts are fairly good. I can say that the ladies who have responded to my posts have for the most part been kind, thoughtful and open. You don’t tell someone having a personal crisis all there is to know, there is simply too much to learn and too many variables to cover. So are the ladies bias? No more than anyone else. And it’s fine. If I am posting here it is because I want your opinions and I say up front I want a CD POV. If I am posting at a CD site I am fairly certain you are in a femme state of mind, so to speak. But more important to me is they, the ladies here, are good people and don’t make light of a person’s distress. One last point, I just wondered. You all refer to one another as sisters; did you know I consider you mine too? Do you think I would if I thought you were all totally self-centered or completely biased? Nope. I see plenty of open minds and compassion here, more than enough to make up for the occassional less than stellar answer. Ms Donna proves my point beautifully. A post that shows compassion. It's honest and thoughtful with loads of insight.

[Bev06 GG]

Since this is a cd' forum.....as was intended, are our opinions biased towards our female side. If so , how much credence can we attach to answers given to those with serious issues who come here for help with a problem that could have
could have serious consequences? maybe a problem that needs to have both sides expressed.
I've posted a couple of threads and some of the replys were what basically the reason that I have posted this one.
i can't put myself in my SO's shoes,I can't think like a male any longer, I think like a girl, so I can't answer that....
So... your opinions? Are we able to give an unbiased answer.. while if fem mode?

steph

Hi Steph,
What an interesting Post. Personally speaking I'd say that the men and women are very different in their thinking. Having read alot of threads on here I think generally speaking the advice and support given is very intelligent and well thought out. However, it is obvious when its a CD giving it as apposed to a GG. I dont believe by putting on a dress a CD suddenly starts to think like a woman would do. We are all shaped by our upbringing, Gender and social class etc and whether or not we like it, we all have our own little prejudices. .
What men would think of as a harmless bit of fun with nothing else in it, a woman would read allsorts into. We are pretty complex in our thinking really.
However, isn't it nice to get a balance. I have learnt so much from the CDs on this site and it has helped me enormously to understand where my partner is coming from. It has also helped me to realise that men and women are definitely wired up differently and come at a problem from entirely different perspectives. That is why I like this site so much because there is such a good balance.
As for TS Well they are women. Which makes you wonder if the difference between male and female is a hormonal one. I have a very good friend who has had the change and to be honest she is just one of the girls even in her mind set. You can bet your going to get a womans eye view on something if you ask her what she thinks on a particular subject.
Take care
BEVxxx

[btmgrl6]

Glad you are here. I have no problem with gg's posting in my threads.
i don't understand why so many feel that bias has some sort of negitive meaning. It simple means slanting more in one direction than another. In this instance i am talking about slanting more towards the female point of view.
So on issues that come up that may require looking at both sides of the coin, is a biased group a true reflection on how to settle an issue fairly? I also think that there are a great bunch of people on this sight, very accepting, and very caring. My thread is in no way meant to reflect negitively on anyone.

Steph