whats worse

[vikki]

hi girls just wondering how many of you feel so alone i mean really alone its got to the point now where i love being me and i dont need to be dressed or anything but just rather be around ppl that know me and feel like know one really knows me other than on here.i moved away from all my old mates abt 12 years ago when igot married but we split up but still remain good friends. so cut a long story short im asking my self . is it better to be alone and be able to be your self or put the better part of me in the closet for as long as i can and really start to build up my male side again ???? . im so alone and cant understand why somthing like being me can give a happiness nothing else can when things are ok and give me a pain nothing else can as well am i the only one who feels trapped in this way .

[Joy Carter]

Married with one child at home but you can be alone in my situation as well. I'm love being me for the first time in my life but I'm not accepted in my own home. You need to find someone or others who feel the way you do because you will never get out of your presant situation unless you try. Me I get along great as long as I act NORMAL but when the real me is present I'm ignored or not tolerated. Hope things get better for you they must for your own health.

[vikki]

yes it really does affect my health as well . can goes 2 days with out eating and still go gym . blokes at work think im made to go gym but but not use weights all i do is running and sit ups cos im scared i will build muscle . got to the point where i take epherdrine just to get me thru days and help controll depression

[Miranda33]

Your situation is not entirely unique. I believe you can be who you want to at any time. Depression is something I am stuggling with as well I don't have any fixes for you but talking to people can really help If you need a new friend drop me a line sweetheart.

Miranda33

[jennig]

Hi vickee I feel like you do I spend so much time working on my fem side that for the past few years I have not dated or spent much time with freinds. I now I do ned to get out more but I do enjoy my jenni time and if I started dateing I would have to explain eyebrows nails no body hair and such, I guess crossdressing can be loney thats why Iam glad to be part of this group




love jennig

[Paulam]

Dear Vikki, I can understand your position, but don't feel that you are alone. I too have depression and take medication for it and I also feel the same as you. I would guess most cross dressers would feel the same way. I am a lot better now. I have started going into womens shops and look,touch, feel the material of the garmentrs that I am interested in. There are some stores that will let one try on their choice of clothing. After I overcame the embarassement of taking a skirt into the changing room or a pair of jeans,I don't care who sees me or what they say, as a result I have overcome a lot of my loneness and most of my depression and feel good about myself. some of the women in the stores even talk to me and some grin and roll their eyes, but I just smile at them pay for my goods and continue on my way.
Love and Hugs Paulam

[bredalee25]

Hi Vikki it depends on one thing are you going to be happy if you put vikki in the closet again and not let her out. It's very hard to quit cding i've tried i managed to stop for seven months and it started again. Once you let your fem side out it's really hard to just quit. It's like smoking you can't just quit it takes time and alot of hard work to stop doing something that makes you happy. I quit because i met my soulmate and she asked me to quit dressing. I tried so damn hard to fight it but i lost the fight and gave in. It turned out to be way to hard to stop doing it. I purged too when i quit tossed it all out and didn't look back. Wow was that alot of money just thrown away. Well for me i'll never do that again my wardrobe is way to expensive now even more than before. So it all boils down to doing what makes you happy if building up your male side will make you happy then by all means go for it. But if it won't then think about it really hard bfore making any changes. It could hurt you more than it helps you just my0.02

ttfn

[sierracd6]

0.02 You have to be happy with yourself before you can make anyone else happy. I have learned that through two marriages, both divorce. When we are miserable, the whole world is on our shoulders.............

[vikki]

im so happy being me or just being around people that know me but there arnt many and like most i could not tell friends i do have. just feels that what ever choice i take i cant win . i do know that its somthing within me that will never go away you can stop the dressing but never the thoughts and feelings abt it all. i am starting to try and get out a bit and get some sort of life in the tg world just need confidence . but being alone is a pain i really struggle with and so would be not being myself dont know if itmakes sense to any 1 sorry