This has been very interesting and confirms that there are as many different emotional attitudes and mental approaches as there are DADT variations - it is all very individual to each of the people/couples involved.
My situation is similar and dissimalar to most of yours. However, I accept that she did not ask for this when we got married; we did not discuss at any time we were dating or in the early years because it was not a "thing" at that point in my life (it came back into my consciousness after having been gone for almost 30 years/about 20 years of marriage); it was/is hard to discuss after all the years because I cannot explain it to myself, much less to her; and it is none of anyone else's business.
I do not intend to bring it up again and, frankly, anticipate that I will quit dressing when I no longer present the image I can accept. Whether that is 10 years or 10 days from now, I don't know. I will probably still participate virtually on sites such as this but will purge and accept the times I had to enjoy it. However, and this may be the most important thing, I love my wife and through out our 40+ years I have strived to make her happy. That may be old fashioned . . . well, so be it. I will continue to what I can to make her happy even if there is no "Terri time".
No one else may understand it (kind of like trying to explain crossdressing to someone else) and I hope that does not offend anyone, but it is just my "individual" approach.
