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Thread: Unique Office Situation

  1. #26
    Heisthebride Heisthebride's Avatar
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    I want to thank everyone for sharing their thoughts on this subject. I appreciate everyone who was thinking of my safety and job security. I have seen comments both for and against and I took both into account. My first thought was about what I meant in a previous comment I made by being an advocate for change. Was I thinking about doing this just for myself? Well, of course I was. But was I also thinking of societal acceptance, making things better for our community, at least better in my opinion. If my goal was to go in the office dressed and then hide then it would only be for my own personal enjoyment. Not that it would be a bad thing, but somewhat selfish. I also took into account the job safety aspect. I have been with the company for a long time so I think I have a good grasp on what would be acceptable or not. There is always a chance of a bad outcome but that could be said of going out dressed up in the general public too. I do feel safe in this work environment and honestly would I want to work somewhere I don't feel safe. I have also found that as I get older I am becoming more revolutionary. I have gone out in public fully en femme. I spent an entire week long vacation including flying en femme I didn't even pack anything male to bring with me. I have no thoughts of transitioning, I don't think I pass. I also will present non-binary sometimes, wearing a skirt with my male top and no makeup. Basically I just want to wear what I want to on any given day.

    That being said, I decided to go into the office yesterday in a non binary style. No makeup, a polo shirt, no bra or forms and I matched that to a business appropriate skirt. I carried in my heels because it was 34 degrees walking in, but I changed into them at my desk. I also decided that I shouldn't hide, just own it. I felt that if I encountered anyone I should just be like it was the most normal thing in the world. Which is probably good advice in any situation. Because there is nothing wrong about how you present. I saw two guards at the security desk, they said nothing and may not have even noticed. From 9a to 5p I only saw two other people and they paid me no mind, again maybe they didn't even notice me. I sat at my desk, did my job, I made my lunch in the break room, I made short excursion to the printer or to throw out some confidential papers in the shredding bin. No issues at all. One could argue that if I'm so confident about this, why not do it at a building that actually has a normal population of employees. Its a valid argument, but baby steps. This was just another small step forward.

    I took a couple of pictures. I hope this inspires some people, but only if they want to go out dressed. It is everyones choice to do what they are comfortable with doing.

    work 1.jpg
    work 2.jpg
    work 3.jpg
    work 4.jpg
    Rebecca Bas

  2. #27
    Aspiring Member
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    Hi Rebecca,
    I got permission from my immediate manager to work as June in the office, even though I had no plans of transitioning. This was right before we had the COVID lockdowns (January 2020). Like you, I work in IT. My company is also progressive and my regional director and his boss were cool with it. So I have been coming to work routinely as June....I dress at the office, since because DADT with my wife.

    The COVID lockdowns gave me courage to explore working as June. Now that everyone is coming back to the office, I still work en femme, but not all the time since I occasionally have to make visits with my clients. I usually document my looks on Instagram/Facebook. It helps me to critique myself... sometimes I look back and wonder why I went out dressed like that - lol.

    You look great! Hopefully, you will continue to be your true self at work and beyond!

    June

  3. #28
    Senior Member Linda K.'s Avatar
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    It is so great to see you decided to go ahead with your plan and that it wasn't as earth shattering as you may have thought. It looks as if you were enjoying your day. Will you do it again? I also wonder if you did, would you go fully dressed next time?

    I think we worry about how people are going to react to us and are shocked when they don't react the way we anticipated. As a thought, could it be that getting no reaction from strangers is because they don't know the real us and are indifferent to those like us that want to be able to dress this way? Yet for some of us, the shock from those who do know us when they find out, is it because it is something they never expected to hear about us?
    Last edited by Linda K.; 04-28-2022 at 10:26 AM.

  4. #29
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
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    Try it if you must, although I prefer to keep my private life seperate from the office.

    There is a possibility it could go pear shaped even if it appears good for now.
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  5. #30
    Member Teresa.Smith.VA's Avatar
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    Your new wife may prefer that you not risk your income by taking risk of dressing at work. Many wives are fearful of lost income, loss of friends, or subtle signs of dissatisfaction that impact on her station in life.
    I honor my wife's request that I not post pictures.

  6. #31
    Oh to be an English Rose Jane G's Avatar
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    It's been so many years. I may be looking back through rose tinted glasses. but I remember with fondness a time when I used to work late at the office dressed. I was never out though. So half the fun was getting away with it. There were only four of us engineers and a secretary in that office though. So very unlikely any one else was going to return when I was working late. Life a a crossdresser has always been such fun.

  7. #32
    Heisthebride Heisthebride's Avatar
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    I finally did it. I appreciate everyone’s advice and trying to keep my job safe, but I decided to forge my own path. So following a trip to Las Vegas where I had a full set of nail extensions done, I decided to go full on femme at work today. I ran into people while I made my lunch in the break room and no one said a word. One person did randomly pass by my office and said hi as they looked and walked past, but that was it. It was a fun day and I think I might even do it again before they close the office permanently.

    07EED7D6-7358-44D9-9579-3467F1FE306A.jpg
    174C0B1D-46F4-411F-9F5F-82C340DCA5EB.jpg
    8B09EA37-8C46-4174-93F8-4560DCD1C7DE.jpg
    Rebecca Bas

  8. #33
    Senior Member Debbie Denier's Avatar
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    Wow Rebecca you look brilliant. Love the outfit , make up and is that a red bow in your hair.? You look so different to your original photos on this thread.

  9. #34
    Silver Member Natalie5004's Avatar
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    Good for you. I dress for work almost every day too.
    I work from home. I do not have the nerve to dress for the zoom meetings. I am all talk.
    But I am not shy. I go out shopping at least 2x a week.
    But my last week at work I could blow everyone's mind and dress for my zoom meetings. I am 66 and still working because I like to blow money.

  10. #35
    Senior Member Jenn A116's Avatar
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    Very nice office look!
    Jenn A --- nothing fancy, just me.

  11. #36
    Member Read only MiniRock's Avatar
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    You look amazing en femme Rebecca. And I guess if the office is so sparsely populated, anyone that saw you would just assume you were an employee they had never seen before.

    For me, work time belongs to my employer. They pay me for it and I wouldn't be there if they didn't. So I don't do anything to make it a home from home. I don't care whether HR want me to feel nice. Because I don't care what they feel like. The clothes I wear for work - usually a suit - never get worn outside work. Even having my own mug is something I could never do. So playing dressing up games - which is my own approach to cross dressing - would be out of the question. Nevertheless, I applaud you for doing your particular thing Rebecca.

    Mini

  12. #37
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    Heisthebride; congrats on being dressed at work! I'm really happy for you

    Quote Originally Posted by Natalie5004 View Post
    But my last week at work I could blow everyone's mind and dress for my zoom meetings.
    I have considered doing exactly this for my last week or two of work when retirement comes. I work at a place with >1000 employees. HR's policies are non-discriminatory against anyone in gender or gender presentation. Yet, of all of my coworkers, I have never seen (at least to my knowledge) anyone crossdressed while at work. Not ONCE in all the years there. I do see quite a few of my coworkers. Probably in a given year I'll see 3-400 of them. I don't feel like my work environment is hostile towards crossdressers, but I don't get the sense that it is welcoming either. So, my last week or two will be a statement, and likely one that I will make verbally as well as in presentation. That's years off yet, so we'll see.

  13. #38
    Just another 'Gurl'
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    I would be weary TBH. However, you know your workmates and employer better than I do. Whatever you decide I wish you the best.
    Just another man in a dress

  14. #39
    Aspiring Member
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    Not worth the risk. Sure, then company has policies that prohibit any harassment, but that does not stop anyone from forming an opinion. They just must be creative about acting on that opinion.

    In my cases I often work with high voltage. I find CDing distracting. Even underdressing is distracting. Being distracted near high voltage is not a good combination.

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