I've been crossdressing for years, mostly in private but had a few nights out fully dressed, makeup and wigs and loved it although a little scary stepping out of the hotel room (that never seems to get easier). I find myself more and more thinking about what it would be like to be Roxy full time, dressing how I want, when I want, I've dreamt about having breasts and had dreams where I looked very feminine in the mirror but woke up my slowly ageing man face looks anything but. Several things hold me back. My wife, kids, job prospects, so in reality I'll probably just end up as I am, dressing when I can, Wearing false nails and underdressing every day. I know a lot of you have DADT relationships with your partner and I'm very fortunate to be able to dress when I please but that doesn't mean I don't want more. This seems to be always on my mind to the point of distraction a lot of the time. The thought of surgery doesn't horrify me, the need to pass isn't massively important but I just don't know what to do.
I love my wife and family, I know, as supportive as she is my wife would not want to stay with me as a woman, that's not what she signed up for. I suppose what will happen in reality is I'll stay as I am, but always wondering what if. Is anyone else in the same situation or having the same thoughts but holding back for their partner/family ?
When I can look like this and feel amazing taking it all off hurts.