Wife threw out my things.

[elizabethb1]

Hello ladies, Let me tell you about my experience about my wife finding out about my interests. About a year ago my wife found one of my mini skirts on the Kitchen floor. She picked them up confronted me. We really got in to it. If fact I almost committed suicide. I was in my truck and had it running with the garage door shut. Lucky my brother and sister came over or I would not be here today. My wife and I went to councelling, But I still continued dressing. About a month ago I went to my hidding place and found all my things gone. She had purged them. I just send out for somemore things and will be recieving them in a few days. I have already received my breast forms, a litttle small but they will do for the time being. I'm wearing some of my wifes things until I recieve and replemished my own things. And I will be finding a better and new hiding place. I'm glade I got this off my breast and told someone about my incident. I feel better now. and will be out in around again soon. Hugs and kisses Elizabeth0.02

[Jasmine Ellis]

Elizabeth, don't feel down hun just pick your feet up and start again if thats what you want to do. Good luck on your way back

[Julogden]

Hi Elizabeth,

Sorry to hear that your wife is having so much trouble dealing with your feminine side, but glad that you're still with us.

Sounds like you two have some work to do regarding your marriage. I know how that is, I've been there too, and it isn't an easy thing to do, but it sounds like you two really have to start talking about this and work it out.

Good luck!

[Marla S]

Sorry to hear.

My wife and I went to councelling, But I still continued dressing.

Do you know what's entirely wrong with this phrase ?
It's should be:
"My wife and I went to councelling, But she still continues to throw out my clothes."

It's not up to you to give up CDing it's up to her to learn to (at least) accept (better respect) this part of your identity.
And it's definetly up to her to leave your things untouched.

[Wendy me]

wow sorry to hear that whole story ... think i would freek out if that happened to me....

[DonnaT]

Wow Elizabeth.

Suicide is never the answer. It's better to separate than take your own life. For many, separation has been the best thing that ever happened after the marriage became too rocky.

I suggest getting a strong box, like a gun safe, to keep your things in in the garage. Bolt it to the wall. Your wife is bound to search again, and let's face it, no place is safe in a house when one knows all the nooks and crannies.

Tell her it's cheaper than having to replace all your things every time she throws them out.

[EricaCD]

Whatever difficulties you may be having, it's simply not appropriate for your spouse to throw away your stuff. Two potential responses suggest themselves:

1. Throw away a few of her clothes that you don't like. (OK that's a bit childish.)

2. Replace the stuff she pitched with nicer, more expensive stuff. Let her know how much it cost - but not where you hid it of course...

Erica

[Bobbie Lee]

Sorry to hear that Elizabeth, I take it nothing came out of the counseling? I hope you can find a way to get your wife more open to your femme side. Does she even talk to you about it or is she ignoring the fact altogether? Just don't give up and keep talking to her if she will listen, if not maybe see a therapist on your own, it may help you deal with all this. Be sure to find one that deals in gender issues and remember that suicide is not the answer to anything. We are here to talk to if you need.
Bobbie

[Melissa A.]

Just glad you're still here, Elizabeth. Don't let someone else judge you into harming yourself. Your life is worth a whole lot more than that.

Lemee understand, she agreed to counseling, at least one of the issues is crossdressing, yet she continues to throw out your property.


At least she's not being unreasonable, or anything....

????????????????

Take care of yourself, sweetie.

Hugs,

Melissa

[Siobhan Marie]

[SIZE="3"]Elizabeth, am so very sorry to hear what happened to you, I don't know what advice I can give you as I've never been down this road, so I won't try. The only thing I will say (if it helps) is hang in there and we're all here for you. If you want someone to talk to, please feel free to PM me.

loads of and cuddles Anna x[/SIZE]

[SherryLynn GG]

Sorry to hear.



Do you know what's entirely wrong with this phrase ?
It's should be:
"My wife and I went to councelling, But she still continues to throw out my clothes."

It's not up to you to give up CDing it's up to her to learn to (at least) accept (better respect) this part of your identity.
And it's definetly up to her to leave your things untouched.

She found out by finding a skirt laying in the kitchen floor, so obviously she wasnt told about the dressing from the beginning so why is it up to his wife to "accept" it??

In my honest opinion I think if you both want the marriage to work then you should be focused on making the marriage work and talking to your wife...you said you went to councelling but did you let her know then you would keep dressing?? or did you say youd stop??? Maybe thats why she threw out all the things.

Im not saying you should stop dressing but I think until you and your wife work things out she will continue to throw them out..You kept something from her and she found out on her own without you telling her, I can understand why she'd be upset & you certainly cant force her to accept the CDing....BUT you also shouldnt hide the fact that youre still doing it from her(if in fact you are hiding it, you didnt really say) I just figured since you had to hide clothes that she didnt think you were dressing anymore

A marriage is about trust & communication, if she cant trust you and you dont tell her what youre doing then it will probably never work and you'll just have to keep buying clothes to replace the ones she throws out...I know there wont be many people agree with anything ive said here but I had to take the wifes side on this one 0.02

[Shelly Preston]

Hi Elizabeth

Sorry to hear of your wife throwing things out
You say you went to counselling but still continued to dress.
I'm guessing the counsellor has had no experience with transgender issues and suggested you stop.
You need to communicate with you wife about how you both deal with the situation. Dont make promises you can't keep.
The hardest thing will be to try and sit down in a calm rational manner and decide what to do.

[Lilith Moon]

...I had to take the wifes side on this one

That says it all for me.

[Kristen Kelly]

She found out by finding a skirt laying in the kitchen floor, so obviously she wasnt told about the dressing from the beginning so why is it up to his wife to "accept" it??

In my honest opinion I think if you both want the marriage to work then you should be focused on making the marriage work and talking to your wife...you said you went to councelling but did you let her know then you would keep dressing?? or did you say youd stop??? Maybe thats why she threw out all the things.

Im not saying you should stop dressing but I think until you and your wife work things out she will continue to throw them out..You kept something from her and she found out on her own without you telling her, I can understand why she'd be upset & you certainly cant force her to accept the CDing....BUT you also shouldnt hide the fact that youre still doing it from her(if in fact you are hiding it, you didnt really say) I just figured since you had to hide clothes that she didnt think you were dressing anymore

A marriage is about trust & communication, if she cant trust you and you dont tell her what youre doing then it will probably never work and you'll just have to keep buying clothes to replace the ones she throws out...I know there wont be many people agree with anything ive said here but I had to take the wifes side on this one 0.02

[SIZE="3"]Two wrongs don't make it right, If he even told her he had stopped dressing, she should not have taken upon herself to throw out the clothes, confront him with them discuss it, decide what is to be done jointly, act on it. [/SIZE]

[Sarah Rabbit]

I know it is hard for an S.O. to take this news, but throwing out the 'Wardrobe' is not going to make the Situation disappear. Hun, your going to have to sit down with your wife and hash this out, or you are going to be spending a lot a cash replacing items you should already have. Keep us posted on the progress



Sarah R.

[elizabethb1]

Thank you all for your support. We don't talk about my cding, she refuses to accept and that's that. Outside of this we have a good marriage. She just doesn't want to talk about it period. I just have to be a little more discreet. I know a couple of places she would not look because of insects and such. When she is out of town I've been out and about and will continue to do so. Thanks again for your concerns and support. Hugs and Kisses Elizabeth

[Jena11]

Elizabeth, My wife did the same thing to me years ago, I got over it but all by myself. Everyone here seems to support you. Take care Jena

[Scotty]

Take it out of her paycheck?

Sorry, just kidding.

Sounds like a common issue but sounds like she's non-negotiable on this whole deal.

That doesn't look good, honestly speaking one or both of you have to compromise to make the other happy.

[annekathleen]

O U C H !

[gennee]

So happy you're with us, Liz. Suicide isn't the answer. I'm sorry about what happened. Give it time so things can simmer down. This is a shock for her but I pray that she will understand why you dress. Educate yourself all you can in case she asks some questions.

Gennee

[Holly]

Elizabeth, I'm sorry that you are in the situation that you are in... but continuing to sneak around behind your wife's back is NOT going to make things any better, and could have a negative impact. Sneaking around behind her back and CDing against her wishes is sure to weaken whatever strength your relationship may currently enjoy. I hope that you will reconsider and attempt to come to some kind of resolution with her. At the very least, don't be deceitful with her. Don't lead her to believe you have stopped dressing when, in fact, you have not and have no intention of stopping. At the very least, be honest with her. She doesn't have to see you, she doesn't have to participate, she doesn't even have to like it... but she does need to respect you and respect for someone who is less than honest is not possible.

[Calliope]

I'm wearing some of my wifes things until I recieve and replemished my own things.

I'd be too angry to even get near her threads. Maybe there's hope ... of sorts. You've got it rough, that's a fact. Hold your head up high, sister.

[Barb Valentine]

You should ask her how she like it if you through out all of her things

[GG Vanya]

Thank you all for your support. We don't talk about my cding, she refuses to accept and that's that. Outside of this we have a good marriage. She just doesn't want to talk about it period. I just have to be a little more discreet. I know a couple of places she would not look because of insects and such. When she is out of town I've been out and about and will continue to do so. Thanks again for your concerns and support. Hugs and Kisses Elizabeth

While I agree your wife had no right to discard your belongings, I have to disagree with the comment I highlighted above.

A marriage based on lies, disrespect, deceit and sneaking around, (whether in private or public) can *not* be a "good marriage".

Communication is the cornerstone, and trust is the foundation, of a good marriage. Not to be harsh, but I can't see where either of these exist with you and your wife.

And just out of curiosity, how in the heck did one of your skirts end up on the kitchen floor? Surely you were more careful than that with your secret?

I am reminded of an amusing thing that happened with a couple Trudi and I are r/t friends with. During Christmas dinner, their dog came dragging one of the CD husband's wigs through the house. On another occasion, said doggie, dragged one of their highly X rated toys into the living room.

Surely you have an amusing explanation of how your skirt ended up in the kitchen?

[Bernice]

This might be a little too hostile, and/or a little too childish, but I think I would box up all her pants and split skirts and sweatpants, and shorts, and comfortable shoes, and hide them offsite, leaving her with only skirts and dresses and court shoes. When she freaks out, suggest that this is exactly how you felt about your involuntary purge, and that she can have them all back on the condition that she discusses this issue rationally with you. Otherwise, she can golly well dress like a "real" girl...