Who have you come out to?

[thea]

I'm still closeted, and as I consider expanding my feminine world, I'm wondering: who have you come out to? If you're out completely, think of your earlier days (and also that you still might be outing yourself to some people). If you have a circle of confidants, who are they? And of course, there's the question of the SO, the family, the best friends.

I've told: in boarding school, an occasionally intimate (never dressed) gay friend; years ago, a friend with favors (my first time being intimate with somebody when I was in a teddy); fewer years ago, a new girlfriend (never wore women's clothes with her, though); a year or two later, post-girlfriend, a gay male friend (I slept alone in nightie when visiting him while traveling); six years ago, another girlfriend (she freaked out but tried to understand, but it didn't last in part because of my dressing); and about four years ago, current girlfriend now in another town (never wore more than panties with her). Oh, and in college, I did have one line as a female in a one-act student production, but that doesn't count.

Now I'm thinking about telling some classmates, but in this small school, while they'd be supportive (students and administration), it could make things awkward and jeopardize future employment prospects, so I'm thinking about confidentiality and the potential for word to spread. Might be better if Thea kept to herself.

[JennAubade]

I've been dressing more and more seriously since I was 14 (has it been that long already?), and have only come out to 2 people--both ex-girlfriends that I'm still very close to, and both in the last year or so. The first one I told actually led to a renewal of our physical relationship, only this time I got to dress before and during. I have to say that having her take my male clothes off and seeing my lingerie underneath for the first time was exhilerating!

[JamieK]

Hi Thea;
As a new person to "serious" cross-dressing, your question of,"Who do you come out to" is a great one indeed. For me, I believe the answer would be: "I came out to me!" Why else do we do this, and who do we REALLY do it for?? I could be very wrong, but I strongly feel we should live our life for US!
Have a wonderful day

JamieK.

[JeanneF]

I've come out to a handful of friends (both male and female), my hairstylist, nail tech, and a ton of employees at clothing stores.

[DeniseNJ]

I made the mistake of coming out to my friends ex. She is a nail tech and I would always hang out and watch.. always wishing I could get a full set of nails. Well one day she asked me if I wanted my pinky done and polished red I was like sure, she waxed my eyebrows that day too and gave them a nice shape. I had here do a French pedicure on my nice feet and I loved the look, she even commented on how nice my feet were for a guy. I since see her at all, do to lifes changes but I know she told a few of our common friends about Denise.. I confided in her about my desires and all the things that make me feel feminine. It is a shame I think she was into making boys into girls. at the time it made me feel good to confide in someone!!!

[Debb]

My wife and two sons know.

My counsellor knows.

A few crossdressing friends know my "true identity".

Aside from that, I have remained in the closet. I plan to tell my parents and brothers (and their wives) in the near future.

I find that "outing" myself had a positive effect on my attitude, as the people I've come out to have been accepting. I truly don't know how I'd react if one of them had rejected me.

[rachel_rachel]

I haven't actually come out so to speak, but we keep having fancy dress parties, so that may be an indication. Last time i dressed in front of my friends was in my own home, in front of about 10 of my closest friends.. they all loved it. They loved the fact that i'm not afraid to do so, but deep down i was absoluty petrified.

[Charity]

I have told my wife and my mother. The coolest/oddest was my brother. After I told him I found out that he had himself experimented while we were growing up. When I think of the fun shopping that we could have had, but the odd thing is neither of us can seem to bring it up again when we talk. I think he wants to talk more about it and I know that I do but there's some kind of wall that keeps us from talking. Kinda sad I guess.

[Gisele]

I guess the biggest out was to myself. Other than that only my fiance knows and a few friends from the support group. No one in my family knows. I have thought about telling my mother for some reason. I don't know why but it makes my tummy flip when I think of telling her. She now lives in CA and can't kick my butt any time soon. I have the feeling that she will love me no matter what though.
As for my father...........uhhhhhhhh NO! That would not go over to well. Or at least I feel like it won't.

Beth

[Sweet Jane]

I told my wife years ago, and she sort of did the ostrich on me...If she could bury her head in the sand, then maybe the "problem" would go away. She never spoke about it after that night. I think she thought that I was gay!!! I plan to tell her again soon, but now with what I've learned here, so I live in hope. I'd love to have her in this part of my life...I hate the hiding and deception...

[Lisa Golightly]

As Eddie Izzard said it's the not telling that gives people the fuel to gossip... I think the line went 'What he told you? There was a good two hours of gossip in that. I bet he isn't a transvestite really.'

Who have I told... Well just about everyone really. Even on a drabtastic day I still confuse people.... 'Is she or isn't she?' 'It is you know... It's one of those transvestite fella's.'

[Girly Sara]

I'm out to my parents, bro, girlfriend, a girl at work, a previous work mate, girls at 2 salons, a lingerie shop blah blah blah.

Hasn't always been like this. Has taken me over 20 years to get to this stage. Loving my life more and more now.

Sara x

[jarts55]

I told my wife that I had dreams that was wearing dresses and that I really wanted to do it. She wanted me to talk to some one about it. I told my doctor, she said I was not the first to tell her that. She didn't have a problem with it at all. She wanted me to talk to some else, but it cost to much. I think wife is like Sweet Jane's, if we don't talk about it then it will go away. I also told a guy at work. That made for some interesting conversations.

[uknowhoo]

GG therapist, two GG friends, GG therapist, and (last night) my wife.

Now that I'm out to my wife, there are a few other people on my list - another GG friend, a niece and possibly my brother. Sure is harder imagining coming out to a guy though. Weird, or maybe not.

[Teresa Amina]

Out to one old friend. An easy one there since he came out to me about his being gay only a few months before. Still don't think he gets it, but then I'm still finding out myself how deep this Trans thing goes.

[Sienna Skye]

After my wife found some tights of mine early in our marraige (over 20 years ago), I told her everything. She told one of her friends, and I've told two of my close friends. Friends have been supportive, but my wife and I haven't spoken about it in a very long time. I am thinking about letting her know I still dress when I can. I hate keeping it a secret from her, but I don't want to hurt her; and I know it would bring up some old wounds

[Paula Thomas]

Thea - Just myself and wife (who is supportive).

[secrets]

I told my first girlfriend, she freaked out and the relationship went downhill from there.
I told my second girlfriend (now my wife) and she was fine with it all, we have a c/d friend who recently came out and I told him at the same time.
I also told someone at work, someone else there suspects me too.
I got to tell my best mate yet, it would make things so much easier when he calls round un-anounced!

[sophie69]

I have only told my girlfriend and my ex wife.... no-one else knows although some mates often jobe and joke about me being a cd...... how funny.... if only they knew the truth! Would not know how to tell anyone else, especially work people....?? Sophie x

[secrets]

I think it is easier to tell someone who you dont know so well, its is harder to tell the people you have more respect for.

[Jeanette TS]

It would be the world for me. everyone work mum dad sister brother you name it i have and about 100,000 on this site as well

Lov Jeanette xx

[hotbobbie]

The first person was myself. after that it was easy.

[wabnaok]

Thea, my wife knows and is supportive.

[secrets]

The first person was myself. after that it was easy.

True, so true!

[tanya3]

hi thea, just my wife a few weeks ago . i wish i would have sooner . she is very supportive . we have been together for about seven years and got married this summer . she is really open minded and told me she had been wondering about it before i told her . she has seen me dressed and done makeup for me now we are just waiting to go out soon .i,m alot less stressed now . it,s good to be out to someone you love .

Tanya