Hi Marissa.
I think I understand some of that. I've had a lot going through my mind at times as well.
I wanted to go all the way when I was young, but the marriage, kids, good job, etc., got in the way and I got stuck with being Sam the man for quite a while.
I'm not sure that I could go through what you are, but I am thinking more and more about talking to my doctors about it.
I'm not sure how my SO is going to react if I make that all life-changing decision and if the doctors think my body can handle the changes. Maybe I can at 52 years, but I'm not sure.
By reading about people, like yourself, that are going through the changes of transitioning, has made me aware of how hard it can be. I'm still trying to weigh it all myself and understand what I will have to go through if I do decide to go ahead with it.
Anyway, thanks for sharing what you are experiencing, I admire you for it.
