I agree Kimberly, especially with the two comments I have picked out of your post.
Poor relationship skills are usually at the bottom of most of the striff. Poor communication covers the rest I think.
Sometimes my hubby accuses me of being un-accepting. On some levels this is sort of true. I really don't understand what crossdressing is to him we never have a decent conversation about it. I have told him that for some weird reason I am ok with the crossdressing being a fetish/ fantasy thing linked with sex. I don't feel comfortable with the idea that he might want to be a women. I don't want to live with a man who wants to be a women or even dress like one everyday. He leads me to believe that this is kind of what it is for him but then he says the other day that we don't have to always have sex when he dresses, we could just hang out. Ok so now I'm confused again. I have very little interest in "hanging out" with my husband like two girlfriends because we aren't two girls. Because I feel this way it puts me in the catagory of unaccepting. Controlling my husbands desires. Well isn't he controlling me if he forces me to do something I am not comfortable with? Let me tell you I have swallowed my feelings plenty to accomodate his cd desires. I did it so that his feelings would not be hurt. Many wives of cd do this but don't get credit for it because we don't make a big deal about it, we do it for love. I don't think that most cd's really give or would be capable of giving what they are asking for in terms of acceptance.
Why can't their be satisfacton with what I am willing to give? I think that I am plenty accepting but being accepting doesn't mean that I have to adopt every aspect of something that I am definately not afflicted with nor do I understand. Maybe things could change for me if we could actually have a conversation about it without getting emotional and dramatic, (I hate dramma). The reason that we can't really talk about it leads me to believe that he doesn't know what it is to him either. This causes a lot of angst between us. I don't think my opinon will change so I would like to know who and what he is so that I can make an informed decision as to wether or not I can live the life he wants to live. But I don't know what that is to tell your the truth so I live with this weight hanging over my head, waiting for the bomb to fall. The bomb being that he wants to live like a girl or alter his body in a permanate way. This is not a very comfortable way to live. Nor does it make you want to really induldge the cd desires because you don't really know what it is you are supporting or showing acceptance for.
Great post Raverbabe, the feelings of the SO are so often not heard or put down but are just as valid as the CD. A little empathy for the SO would go a long way, we are not inside the cd's head and need some assurances as to what we are dealing with and it is not fair to accuse one of being unaccepting when most of the time the so doesn't even know what they are accpeting because poor communication. Kitty