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Thread: I got outed.......

  1. #1
    Aspiring Member Amy R Lynn's Avatar
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    Unhappy I got outed.......

    So last weekend I was getting ready to go on a fishing and camping trip with one of my friends that I have known for a LONG time. We were going down to WV to do some river fishing for the weekend.

    We needed to buy a one day fishing license online. So my buddy came over and was using my computer. I didn't realize ahead of time that he was going to need to use my computer. I never dreamed that he would go to my IE history to find the website to buy the fishing license. Low and behold, there were all of my CD'ing sites that I have visited....!@#$@....I have my settings to only keep 1 days worth of history and normally I'm the only one that uses my computer so I don't have to wory about anyone snooping around on it. So he confronted me and asked if there was something that he should know about me. He said that he saw all of these CD'ing websites in my history. My stomach sank.... I didn't know what to do other than to say "Is that an issue?", and just shrugged. He said well no... and we left it at that for then.

    This is probably the worse person to ever know about something like this. I may as well have just posted an article about me in the local newspaper. !@#@. Knowing this I knew I had to talk to him about it. I waited until we were driving back home. I didn't want this to linger over the camping trip, so I waited until we were on our way home. I brought it up and told him that it is something very personal to me, and that only a couple people know about it. I told him that I would appreciate it if he could keep that to himself. He said that if that's my thing then what ever. He seemed ok about it. Or at least he didn't throw himself from the moving car. I explained to him that this was something that was always a part of me, and that it doesn't make me any different than the person that he has known all along. I also reassured him that I have no attraction to men. I just really love everything, EVERYTHING, about women. I just hope and pray that he doesn't open his big mouth, but I have my doubts. I'm not sure what will be the result of this. I hope that I don't loose friends over this. I don't know that I'm ready for that.....Not that I have much choice now. Only time will tell.
    "Oh my God, I realized, it's not that we're screwed up; it's just that we've been trained to thnk so."
    ~Rick Novic, Alice in Genderland

  2. #2
    Member Jamie Christopher's Avatar
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    Amy:

    Best of luck to you after what must have been very traumatic. I hope all works out well!

    Jamie

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amy R Lynn View Post
    I never dreamed that he would go to my IE history to find the website to buy the fishing license.
    he may not have gone into your history at all. If he did it the old fashioned way, IE had a common history based suggestion list up on the screen before he finished typing www.

    at least your free now.
    Last edited by Miranda-E; 09-19-2012 at 07:46 PM.

  4. #4
    Member Megan Briana's Avatar
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    I just had the same experience with a GG friend of 20+ years. we havent talked about it yet, but if our friendship is half as strong as the years it took to make it, then we should be ok. this friend is not known to keep secrets. i have been telling my self all night that if the worst happens, then the worst happens. at least for me it means I dont have to hide it from here anymore.

    ps if he saw all this before the trip, and still went fishing, then maybe it is not so big the problem that the imagination makes it.... just a thought
    If i knew then what i know now, i would have stolen my ex wife's clothes. I loved the way she dress

    Megan Briana

  5. #5
    Adventuress Kate Simmons's Avatar
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    Well, you are the one who really knows your friend Hon but I'm being told by my guide that nothing will come of it. He enjoys having you as a friend.
    Second star to the right and straight on till morning

  6. #6
    Platinum Member
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    That had to be difficult. I guess he should be careful about snooping, if that's what lead to this. I commend you on answering honestly. Let's hope you're friendship continues.

  7. #7
    Aspiring Member Amy R Lynn's Avatar
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    Actually the sugesstion list much more likely......Good call....

    Well he did tell me that he thought maybe it was someone else that was using my computer. He didn't think that it was me. So.. I don't know....

    What ever happens, happens. Its out of my control what he does with that information. I do know him well. I think he can keep it under his hat, but we'll see.

    @Beamer, sounds like we are def in the same boat here.
    Last edited by Amy R Lynn; 09-19-2012 at 08:00 PM.
    "Oh my God, I realized, it's not that we're screwed up; it's just that we've been trained to thnk so."
    ~Rick Novic, Alice in Genderland

  8. #8
    Platinum Member
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    Hi Amy, That's why I always clear the history when I log off
    although I'm the only one to use it you just never know.
    Having my ears triple pierced is AWESOME, ~~......

    I can explain it to you, But I can't comprehend it for you !

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  9. #9
    Dreaming in Color! ColleenCD's Avatar
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    Hi Amy,

    Wow, sorry to hear about your situation. This is certainly a test of friendship. If this guy talks, then the word is out; guys will probably not bat an eye save one redneck, curious women may test you with feminine statements or outright questions. Anyone who hears will develop an opinion. The real test is your resolve and confidence. How will you respond? Keep in mind that the same people whom we often feel subject to judgement from ALL have something they also would not like the world to know, like your friend.

    Take heart,

    Colleen
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]Feeling pretty on the inside.

  10. #10
    New Member StaceyXOXOX's Avatar
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    I almost got busted by my bestfriend one evening when my wife had taken the kids to a movie. I had a couple of hours of me time so I thought I would get dressed up. I was just sitting and watching some tv when my friend and his kid, who live just around the corner from me, decided to take thier dogs for a walk. His son started knocking on my door and looking thru the window. I had to do a army crawl to the bedroom and do a quick change. He asked what took so long getting to the door, told him I was using the bathroom. My heart was pounding so hard the whole time he was over here.

  11. #11
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    Google Chrome has a nice Incognito window that does not save history, cookies, passwords, usernames. You still need to be careful but there is no additional hidden history saved. Even Ebay searches and things like that are not saved.

  12. #12
    member stacycoral's Avatar
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    Amy, i hope everything works out for you, hugs.
    [SIZE="3"][/SIZE][SIZE="3"]Stacy Lynn Coral[/SIZE]

  13. #13
    Gender Explorer Meghan's Avatar
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    There is nothing quite as scary as the moment when the genie pops loose when it's not clearly safe (or ever)!

    I have had more than a few close calls and some outs over the last 35 years. It comes with the territory and it's a part of who we are. No matter what happens here, hang in there.

    I don't think any one of us can keep this from all other humans forever. Our own minds subvert us. A little too much mascara that we didn't notice was still there, forgotten panties on at the gym, a website image, an unexpected visitor, anything.

    So hang in there and be strong. This will pass with time and you'll feel better.

    After all, this is what we do.

    Meghan
    "No matter how far you've gone down a wrong road, turn back."

    ~Turkish Proverb

  14. #14
    Member Nicolesmyth's Avatar
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    Omg I don't think I would have the Gus to talk to him like you did! Hope it works out.

  15. #15
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
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    It is too easy with prompts, I type in "c" and guess what.....
    Top of the c list is CD.Com.
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  16. #16
    My Ship has sailed? Barbara Ella's Avatar
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    Amy, sorry this happened. Your friend went on the trip, and was OK, and did not bring it up, so maybe even if he thought it was someone else it was no big deal to him. Hopefully since he did not react immediately when you discussed it with him it really is nobig deal, and he understands. Only time will tell if he can hold his tongue.

    Good Luck

    Barbara
    He (she) who would learn to fly one day must first learn to stand and walk and run and climb and dance.
    - Friedrich Nietzche -
    I may never get to fly like the other girls, but I do so want to dance, so I continue to climb.

  17. #17
    Aspiring Member Amy R Lynn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ColleenCD View Post
    Hi Amy,

    Wow, sorry to hear about your situation. This is certainly a test of friendship. If this guy talks, then the word is out; guys will probably not bat an eye save one redneck, curious women may test you with feminine statements or outright questions. Anyone who hears will develop an opinion. The real test is your resolve and confidence. How will you respond? Keep in mind that the same people whom we often feel subject to judgement from ALL have something they also would not like the world to know, like your friend.

    Take heart,

    Colleen
    Well I've already been tested once when my buddy found the history on my PC. I am pretty sure that I would handle it just the same with anyone else. It has been my experience that when things happen, good, bad, weird, when they are yours, you should own them. Skirting (all puns intended! LOL) the issue only makes it worse. Owning it and accepting what it is will help everyone move on. I just know that if I were to tell everyone that I know (worse case scenario), some of them probably would never speak to me again. That would be painful. I only hope that it doesn't' come to that. I don't think it will.
    "Oh my God, I realized, it's not that we're screwed up; it's just that we've been trained to thnk so."
    ~Rick Novic, Alice in Genderland

  18. #18
    Maryann40c MaryAnn40c's Avatar
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    I been outed so much lately that I really don t care anymore....if people dont like what I enjoy then they can always leave! I wear what ever i want when i want!
    I am who I am...I am very happy with who I am! I am transgender! Time for others to deal with it or get out of my way!

  19. #19
    Senior Member mikiSJ's Avatar
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    I know this is going to read very VERY geeky but:

    Google Oracle Virtualbox, it is free and easy to use and install. It will allow you to set up separate operating system (Linux Ubunta or SUSE are good) on your computer (assuming you are running Windows 7).

    Download a copy of a Linux distribution .iso image and follow the instructions in Virtualbox to load the system. Create a username only you will know and a very strong password. The Virtualbox does all of the installation for you and each Linux distribution build has Firefox as a browser. I have not had any issues having a virtual O/S not connect right away to the internet.

    If you often leave your computer on while surfing, set a quick window saver and require a password to log back in. Once the computer is turned off the Virtualbox cannot be started without your username/password combination. (Unless you have a geek in the house!)

    I am writing this note on a Windows 8 virtual system.

    Miki

  20. #20
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    that is something i sweat everyday i hope it turns out for you and i would like to hear if anything develops xo P.s. keep your fingers crossed

  21. #21
    Cat's Eye Siren ArleneRaquel's Avatar
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    Amy,
    Thank you for sharing, I hope that your friends understand & continue be supportive.
    Fulfilling a Lifetime Dream of Living as a Woman in My Adult Years. Ten Years Living 24/7 as a Mature Lady

    My Love of Cat's Eye Frames, Bangles, Red Lipstick, Nails, & Cheeks, Comes From My Mother - An Irish Beauty

    I'm Always Rainbow Proud

  22. #22
    Junior Member Erina's Avatar
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    The truth is that this isn't a big deal, your friends should quickly realize that in case that some of them would found out.
    Don't worry, know that everything would be ok
    Last edited by Erina; 09-20-2012 at 04:58 AM.

  23. #23
    Senior Member Diversity's Avatar
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    Hi Amy,
    It is too bad that this occurred, however, I would like to say this: If your friends are indeed your friends, you will not lose them. If you lose them, then they are not really your true friends who offer unconditional love to you as friends. Everyone has a private quadrant to their lives. CD'ing is part of your private quadrant.
    If you don't know what I mean by 'quadrant', I mean it as follows:
    Quadrant one: both you and your friends know how you will react to certain circumstances.
    Quadrant two: your friends know how you will react to certain circumstances, but you do not.
    Quadrant three: you know how you will react to certain circumstances, but your friends do not.
    Quadrant four: neither you nor your friends know how you will react to certain circumstances.
    Tiime will tell how this all shake out, so toughen up your skin and be prepared, but don't stress about it. You are who you are, and you have every right to be. Your true friends are the important ones, and they will be the ones who will not think less of you.
    Best wishes to you.
    Di

  24. #24
    Silver Member linda allen's Avatar
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    The newer versions of Internet explorer have an option under "Tools" called "InPrivate Browsing". Using this feature, visited sites are not kept in any history.

    If you're using a computer at work, school, etc. all bets are off. When I was working in the field, I could view the actual screen of any computer on site (for security purposes).
    [SIGPIC]http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/image.php?type=sigpic&userid=82706&dateline=137762 0356[/SIGPIC]Linda

  25. #25
    Silver Member kristinacd55's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amy R Lynn View Post
    Well I've already been tested once when my buddy found the history on my PC. I am pretty sure that I would handle it just the same with anyone else. It has been my experience that when things happen, good, bad, weird, when they are yours, you should own them. Skirting (all puns intended! LOL) the issue only makes it worse. Owning it and accepting what it is will help everyone move on. I just know that if I were to tell everyone that I know (worse case scenario), some of them probably would never speak to me again. That would be painful. I only hope that it doesn't' come to that. I don't think it will.
    Hey Amy, that's a healthy way to deal with it. If he's truly a friend, then he will understand and become an even better friend. If not, then the friendship wasn't strong to begin with.
    I have buddy friends who I go on a ski trip with every year, and the one guy and I text every day. I'm thinking the time is coming that I'm going to fess up to him since we're very close in every other way. And, just like you, what happens will happen and I will accept the consequences!

    On another note, I use Google Chrome for my browser and always go to "incognito" even though noone accesses my laptop either except my wife.

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