Reine,

There's no question the group was primarily trans, both male and female, as well as a few cisgendered folks. Emotionally, it was irrelevant what gender they were though - they felt like women to me and with little exception I had no trouble accepting them as such. So when I was treated as a normal person, while presenting fem, I experienced something I enjoyed and I would attribute to being a woman. Certainly, their nature may have made it easier for them to do so, and for that I love them, but that did not dilute the feeling in any way. I might be diluted, but the feeling wasn't

As far as batteries: you sound like a strong person who doesn't need others' affirmation of her place in the world; I envy that. My wife is similarly self-determined and it is something I strive for. And it is certainly possible that my weak sense of self leaves me more vulnerable to these sorts of feelings which don't resonate with your experience. But it does seem that there is room for me to feel like a woman in an esoteric sense, while understanding very little of how hard you've had to fight for your place or the world you've had to live in. At least, as long as I'm contrite about my place in this women's world!

Bonnie,

Correct me if I'm wrong, but it seems as though you're seeking concession for CDs who use the phrase in question on this forum. I applaud that; tolerance and understanding are important in creating community and this a doubly important place for that. But, for me, what is missing is the acknowledgement of the gravity and reality of the situation.

When I came out to my wife a few months ago I tried desperately to protect her and tell her it was no big deal. It wasn't until I acknowledged the real implications of what my gender dysphoria were that we could start talking about the meaning of it in our relationship. I needed to come to terms with the pain it would mean for us, rather than trying to whitewash our situation with unsubstantiated reassurances.

In this case, at least from my perspective, we should acknowledge two things: that the phrase "I feel like a woman" is loaded and carries a great deal of meaning any time it is used. Also, that when used this phrase does not always mean the same thing, even when uttered by seemingly similar prototypical CDers. Once we admit this, then we can talk about our sensitivities and our cultural influences and our personal experiences. Until then we're likely to be stuck with a semantic debate.

Don't get me wrong; I love me a good ole fashioned semantic debate...

- Sandra