I have been dating a nice guy for a while now and having a lot of fun. He likes and encourages my dressing and being femme for him. I enjoy it too and we have a lot of fun together.
I have been dating a nice guy for a while now and having a lot of fun. He likes and encourages my dressing and being femme for him. I enjoy it too and we have a lot of fun together.
I'm not gay but very bi. Super glad I found this thread though as I've been having a lot of feelings about having a man. He'd have to be very sweet and gentle and be crazy about me the way I am. I don't even much care how he looks...well, as long as he doesn't weigh 400 lbs lol.
My gut feeling is tell them the truth from the get go. Less crossed wires and hurt feelings in the end.Originally Posted by maya1love
I can go on and on about this topic
Last edited by legz31; 11-20-2010 at 07:43 PM.
I think you would be better off trying some gay clubs than online legs Hun
Great thread! As you say, most gay guys aren't looking for guys who look and act like girls, but there are a lot of bi-curious guys out there, I think many of them secretly wish they could dress and pass as chicks too. Anyhoo I've had some luck with Craigslist, you're right that like 80% of the hits you get are from guys who are only looking for sex but if you're patient and careful you can weed out the sickos and I've met some wonderful guys that way. Like you said, it's smart to say upfront that you're looking to meet a guy who will take you to nice places, and always insist on a picture from the neck up! I recently put a personal on Craigslist challenging guys to beat a TGirl at tennis, with a picture of me in my tennis dress, met a really cool guy who's become my tennis partner and bed buddy too
Aaaawww great story
Hey all...glad that this thread is continuing!
I just want to clarify something that I see repeated quite a bit in threads on this forum. Often times, the issues around being a gay male crossdresser are confused with the issue of "whether I am gay because I fantasize about being with a man while dressed". There are tons of threads dealing with the latter on this forum. My view is that having fantasies about being with a man while dressed is not the same thing as calling yourself a "gay male crossdresser". For me, a gay male crossdresser is simply a male crossdresser who envisions being with a man as a primary life partner, who falls in love with a man, and is primarily attracted to men, and who can envision living day-to-day with a man in a conjugal relationship, regardless of whether he is dressed in women's clothes or not. To help those questioning themselves, I would probably ask the question, "Are you primarily attracted to men regardless of what you are wearing?" If so, you're mostly likely "gay". If you are only attracted to men when you are dressed as a woman, and you also find yourself attracted to women, then I don't think that you are gay -- perhaps, you are bisexual. (Hope you won't all clobber me for saying that!) I remember when I was questioning my sexuality, I seemed to be focused on who I fantasize about being with in bed. A dear friend clarified that "sexual orientation" was much deeper than sex -- it was about who we fall in love with and who we enjoy romance with.
So, as someone who still envisions being with a man even when I'm not dressed as a girl (although I would like to be seen as the fem in the relationship), I've come to the conclusion that I really should stick to the gay male community in terms of looking for an ideal mate. The reason that I feel this way is because most trans-admirers that I have met seem to have a great deal of difficulty being with me when I am not in girl mode. Being in a relationship with me involves being with my male self 90% of the time, and my female self 10% of the time. And, luckily there are some gay men out there who have been fine with my dressing and treating me like the girl in the relationship, so I feel like that has to be the closest fit at this point...
I'm not much into labels, although I guess you could put me on the BT end of the GLBT rainbow: I dig girls when I'm a guy and dig guys when I'm a girl...
Well, I wouldn't identify as gay male cross-dresser, but I want to support this thread!
Smash the heteronormative ownership paradigm!
I feel exactly that anxiety about hetero guys, especially ones looking specifically for trans girls. I mean besides the creepy chaser factor, I would worry constantly about their reaction to my male self, even though I would want to be full-time female with them. Basically, I'm afraid to even put myself in that position.
I was playing with a hetero male friend, and when he was taping my ankles together, he mentioned something about my not having shaved some spots. It was probably just an innocuous comment, but I remember feeling a bit awkward at that point. He has been totally cool, so I wasn't really worried. If it had been a first or second date with some guy I didn't know as well, and he made a comment like that, I would not have felt comfortable at all.
Most gay guys at the bars and clubs I go to don't seem to pay much attention to me for whatever reason (maybe because they think I'm a girl? hehe wishful thinking). I do seem to attract the creepy old man demographic though D:
I too am attracted to guys when dressed.I would love to have a boyfriend to go out with and other things. hee hee
I harbour the being with a man in fem mode fantasy but I am attracted to men when in drab too.interestingly when I'm fem I want a masculine man to be the dominant partner but in drab I like effeminate men who would want me to be the masculine partner.without lowering the tone I'm also attracted to CDs more than ggs cos they are fem and pretty and it kinda excites me to know what they have in their panties
I want a dominant man also. I get dressed up and I want him. I'd like to get with a clean shavin body building guy though,just want him to be hung. Sorry if I offend any girls by saying that,it's just what I'd like to have.
WARNING:Any institutions or individuals using this site or any of its associated sites for studies , projects or any other reasons You DO NOT have permission to use any of my profile or pictures in any form or forum both current and future. If you have or do, it will be considered a violation of my privacy and will be subject to legal ramifications. It is recommended that other members post a similar notice to this.
I know some girls who have had pictures stolen , copied then used elswhere .
This isn't a joke - this advice was passed onto me by a close legally trained friend .
Well that's the problem: how do you find gay guys who are ok with you as a woman?
So, as someone who still envisions being with a man even when I'm not dressed as a girl (although I would like to be seen as the fem in the relationship), I've come to the conclusion that I really should stick to the gay male community in terms of looking for an ideal mate. The reason that I feel this way is because most trans-admirers that I have met seem to have a great deal of difficulty being with me when I am not in girl mode. Being in a relationship with me involves being with my male self 90% of the time, and my female self 10% of the time. And, luckily there are some gay men out there who have been fine with my dressing and treating me like the girl in the relationship, so I feel like that has to be the closest fit at this point...
I mean, i'm normally a masculine gay dude who loves to dress and be the woman in the relationship and ESPECIALLY in the bedroom. I've tried finding total tops to date but even they are turned off when they hear I dress. When do you usually tell them that you dress?
I feel like it's kinda false-advertising: they think they're going to get this masculine guy when, in reality, i'm a total fem bottom in the relationship.I feel like maybe I should try and fem myself up in everyday life so that guys know?
I also feel like it'd be a helluva lot easier to get what I want if I just transitioned.
Q: What do you call a guy with a 12-inch dick hanging out at a gay bar?
A: A bottom
Thanks for kick starting this thread Maya. We're a subculture that could use a little more visibility.
I've been with my guy for nearly 20 years now (we were babies when we met!). We met, fell in love and built a life together. THEN I told him I was a CD. While he wasn't too surprised, he made it clear that he has no interest in ever seeing me as Christa.
I don't like giving advice, but if I had it to do over I wish I would have been more comfortable about my CD identity when we met. I think meeting guys online (chat) isn't all bad. At least they know what they're getting into. The key is to be clear and direct about what you're after (relationship, friendship or just sex). There's no guarantee you won't get your heart broken, but that's true no matter what.
[SIZE="2"]Hello! I’m doing OK. I’m in school at the moment, looking for the right guy, but so far I haven’t bumped into anyone that I would like to date. It’s difficult for me, because I don’t have many resources, I’m an awkward distance from home, and I’m pretty picky about who I go out with. I used to have a cute boyfriend back in high school, but his family moved away. We still write to each other. We had to be discrete is this homophobic atmosphere, but we managed to meet up after school quite often. Luckily, I’m only a short walk from many good places for dates. It helps that I can pass as a female, because gangs of loitering boys are everywhere. My boyfriend was kinda geeky, so he was also a target for bullies. Often we would just walk hand-in-hand through the woods that surround this area and talk about anything on our minds, getting away to our own space for some peace and quiet. I miss him, and I feel lonely these days. I hope I can find somebody new. It’s not easy.
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Hi cdastoria: I had read another thread that you had written a little while ago, and it looks like you were lucky enough to meet a gay guy who was accepting of your dressing. So, I think that they are out there. I wouldn't "fem" yourself up to be more attractive to the type of guy that you like. You are who you are -- a reasonably masculine guy who likes to be feminine in the bedroom. This is no different than the straight crossdresser who is mostly masculine, but likes to dress up. I've never heard a straight crossdresser say that he should be more feminine in his day to day life just to attract a woman. As a masculine gay guy, you are a pretty hot commodity in the gay community!
Hey Christa: So nice to hear from you again! As we said in our private conversations with each other, it seems like the grass is always greener on the other side! You wish that you could have been more out as a cd before you met your partner. Yet, so many of the girls on this thread just wish they could have a partner of 20 years! (sigh...)
Well as of Sunday after a long talk with my sister discussing personal feelings and all that jazz I came to the realisation that I'm gay. I'm perfectly fine with it. My sister said she has known for 6 years and has waited for me to figure it out lol. I love my sister cos she's the best. Anyway wanted to say hi to everyone.
Hi I'm Brandi just wanted to say I am a gay male crossdresser here. I am attracted to both regular gay guys and other dressers whether I am dressed up or not.
I am also attracted to non dressed males and dressed males, along with transexuals.
Eventually, I would like to date guys exclusively. I'm finding out that the more I look at women, I admire their beauty (and what they're wearing). At work, I try to be discreet, so when I see one of our admin assistants, I say something like "that outfit looks good on you" without getting more into it. In reality, I'm looking at how women put their outfits together.
Can someone tell me how does it feel when a guy wines you and dines you? It must be a wonderful feeling!
I have found it is much easier to find a GG to date us than a man, in all my time of dressing I have had one BF that actually took me on dates and all that. Was a hoot! But I do have a couple of guys that regularly see me for naughty stuff, I admit I enjoy that and am friends with them. But they have to stay undercover. On what Barbara is talking about, My boss with out directly asking me was hinting around about guys that shave their arms. So at work they might be catching on. Oh well. I am a very high producer at work, should be ok.
I sometimes feel a desire to experience dating a man. I prefer other CDs but I would like to try a man at least once.
Laurin
Hi ladies:
Glad to see this thread is still kicking around! I actually have been meaning to post another question here for awhile, so here goes...
This is for all those that identify as mostly gay male crossdressers -- if you have gay male friends, do you feel differently from them? Do you think that, aside from your dressing, that you are like them? I have been feeling that I have some things in common with my gay male friends, but I feel separate from them. It's not about the "dressing" per se -- it's more about the absence of a feminine sensibility. I'm not sure how to describe it. My gay friends still think like men, whereas I don't, really. I can't get turned on being a man with another man (or with a woman, for that matter). I need to be feminine with a man. What is your experience?
Just came out of the closit after 3 marriges 4 kids. Just couldn't hide it anymore, told my mom and 2 oldest kids, yhey were very understanding of me. So my next step is to start hormons and be the femme that is dieing to come out of me. lol girls.
