It seems it's only the ones who were lucky enough to tell and have the support are the holier than thou's who believe one size fits all, to come out with it regardless of consequences, because they seem to think "I'm alright Jill, as I'm now a special out and loud and proud professional CD'er which automatically gives me higher opinions over those losers still in the closet"..... Um, nah!
Why tell a new girlfriend before you even get to know her?, that to me sounds very foolhardy. She might turn out to be the worst most untrustful person to keep such a personal secret, and before you know it all her friends will know and possibly your friends and family, gossip is like a nasty spreading virus. Not every ex GG can be trusted to keep that secret. Not everyone's family and friends will be automatically accepting. Maybe the CD'er will be totally ostracised and labeled a pervert by many. Maybe their life will actually be made tougher rather than easier. So not everybody should be forced into being loud and proud about it just because it worked for others. One size does NOT fit all. It's arrogantly naive to assume it does. Sometimes honesty is not always the best policy.
I only plan telling her IF I know that she will be supportive and would never tell, otherwise I will keep it secret. And if we move in together, well that will be my conscious choice knowing she wouldn't be supportive if she knew, which means I will give it up for her. That would not be denial, it would be acceptance of the situation. What's wrong that that?
