Jenni -- I think you have the admiration of the entire room! Sounds exactly what I'm looking for too! Can I ask -- how old are you guys? And another question -- for the wedding, are you going to be wearing something feminine, or have the two of you decided to be strictly two men at the ceremony?
Thank you Barbara
And thank you too sed. Honestly, I couldn't say whether I'd like to transition, but it is something that I have thought about on numerous occassions, although something has always held me back in making a very real step forward in this respect. I do like the fact that I am male, but, like all of us, I also love the fact that I am transgendered, so the thought of actually becoming a woman full time has often felt very intriguing to me. I'm in my 30s now, and my need to explore my feminine side is getting stronger and much more frequent, and my confidence in this regard is growing very rapidly. I do think Danny has a lot to do with that though, as he is so very supporting and encouraging of it, and when you have someone in your life who is so understanding and accepting, it makes me feel even more proud and happy about the whole thing and the way I am. I guess, to put it succinctly, I honestly couldn't say one way or the other whether I would eventually transition. At the moment though, I'm very happy with the way I am, so it isn't something that, should it actually happen, would happen soon. And Danny's feelings are very very important to me, as I love him so very much. We haven't discussed this at all apart from when he initially asked me if I wanted to become a woman (to which my reply was a simple "no" interestingly enough), but if I did broach the subject with him, then it would only be taken further if I had his full support. The thought of losing him because I wanted to be a woman full-time is simply too unbearable for me to think about.
Aww, thank you maya, that such a sweet thing to say and so very nice to hear. I've just turned 39, and Danny is 42. I'm totally undecided about what to wear at the wedding, but I do think it will end up being "two men". The reason, and this may sound silly, is that while we are both out to all our friends as being gay, I'm not out to all of them as being transgendered. But then, I don't think they'd really mind if I wore a wedding dress if truth be told.
I have actually been looking at quite a few dresses online, and some are just too gorgeous that they make me want to melt!! The temptation to wear a dress might just prove too strong to deny myself. As long as that's ok with Danny of course!
That's very cool, Jenni! Thanks for sharing your story.
If I had it to do all over again, I'd have told my husband when we first met too. It would have been much easier than having to come out to him about my CD-ing years later.
But finally, he's suggested that I bring my clothes out of hiding and make Christa more a part of our everyday lives. Very exciting. I'll take it slowly and let you all know how it goes.
Thanks again for this great thread Maya!
xoxo
Christa
Jenni...thanks so much for the story! I have a few more questions:Originally Posted by jenni_xx
How did it come up during that first conversation? Was there anything that might have lead into your revelation?
Before him, had you dated any men who were accepting?
How often do you dress in your relationship? every day? What was his reaction the first time he saw you dressed?
Personally, I've tried dating men or looking for men who were "total tops" and liked to be the more masculine one in the relationship. Some have said they'd be ok with panties but nothing more. It still seems very difficult to find a man who would be accepting of the "something more."
Astoria, during our very first conversation, we talked for hours about anything and everything, and we just seemed to connect on so many levels that we both felt so at ease with eachother, having similar views, outlooks, opinions. Because I felt so comfortable, it just felt right (and very easy) to tell him about my feminine side. I wouldn't necessarily say there was one specific thing that "enabled" me to open up to him, in the sense that there was something that lead into it. We were both very interested in finding out more about eachother, and I included my dressing when I was describing myself and the things I liked. His reaction wasn't even one initially of shock, but of genuine intrigue, and he made me feel very comfortable in answering the questions that he asked as a result.
I hadn't told any man I'd previously dated about my dressing, so I couldn't say whether they'd have been accepting or not. With previous boyfriends (there weren't too many to be honest, as I was in the closet and used to date girls when I was younger), I never felt comfortable in telling them. Funnily enough, when I dated girls, I told all of them (some right from the start, others found out, others I told further into the relationship), with some accepting and some not. Perhaps with my first couple of boyfriends (relationships that didn't actually last a great deal of time anyway), the excitement of being with a man and accepting and exploring my sexuality was enough for me to even contemplate wanting to bring my feminine side into the relationship. With Danny though, it's definitely different. Like I say, I was open (and felt able and totally confident to be open) right from the start. Of course, had he not been accepting, then our relationship most probably wouldn't have got a chance to develop, but I think because we got on so well and connected straight away, he was able to see it as a part of who I am - one of the things he's since said to me is that he's glad that I felt he was a person I could be totally honest with, as honesty is something that he values very highly.
Currently, we're living a couple of hours away from each other, so we only get to spend weekends together (we're still undecided as to who will move in with whom, or whether we'll get a new place together (and rent out our apartments) closer to our wedding). I have on occassion spent the entire weekend dressed in his company, other times not dressed at all. The first time he saw me dressed, his reaction was one of total positivity, and it wasn't long before some "fun" was had! That was a mind-blowing experience for me, as I'm sure you can imagine.
Hi all -- I think that Jenni's story really illustrates to me that there are some masculine (if you like that), intelligent gay men out there who will not only tolerate our cding, but accept it as well. I too, have, in the past, met gay men who been very accepting of my cding. (Hell, two of my previous boyfriends even bought me lingerie on special occasions!) I know that they are few and far between, but we only need one in order to make us happy and fulfilled!
I find that the problem with engaging a "tranny admirer" man, or leading in a personal ad with the fact that you crossdress is that crossdressing becomes the focus of the relationship. If I'm going to build a relationship with a man, we have to have more in common with each other than the fact that we both like that I crossdress. And...more importantly, these men usually don't want to be open about being in a loving relationship with another man. (I've reconciled the fact that I won't transition to being a woman) However, I have had some lovely dates with tranny admirer men, but we both know that it's not going to go anywhere.
Jenni...what a dream! I'm ridiculously envious, to say the least. I guess it just seems impossible for me (who looks relatively average and masculine) to find a guy who is going to assume that I am the more sub/fem one. I also feel like it is false advertising because a guy would assume he's going to get one thing when, in reality, he's getting something quite different.
I have been told that all the guys that go to trans clubs are very much living a straight lifestyle and aren't looking to date someone part time.
Perhaps I should go to gay clubs dressed up and see what I attract?I dunno. Wish I had some of you girls around here to hang out with.
I totally agree with Maya Jenny's relationship is the ideal one not only for us but to any straight crossdresser too , a supportive partner is really valuable.
My relationships have been the kind Maya describe dates that I know from the beginning are going nowhere I have to admit that sometimes I pursued Married guys trying to avoid a more sentimental attachment but a letter from a wife really changed my mind..now my number one rule is no married guys at all. One of the things I really admire Jenny is the fact that there is no age difference on her relationship, lately I am only getting responses from guys either too young or quiet older than me and I really feel more comfortable with guys around my age.
Do you mind if i ask what the wife said in her letter?
She wrote that wasn't blaming anything on me and only wanted to make sure about her husband infidelity...I had to tell her the truth and sincerely apologized to her , I felt really bad and guilty for some time, and if somebody read this please try not to judge me I've learned from my mistakes
Did she know you were trans? or did you think you were a real woman? or a man?
She knew I wasn't a a real woman
Hey everyone:
In reading the wonderful posts on this thread, I got the sense more and more that many of us are searching for a relationship with that one special guy. Aside from Jenni and Christa, we are all single. I, for one, have had quite a few dates with men (in boy mode) over the years, but nothing's really materialized. I'm currently reading this wonderful book called "Marry Him" by Lori Gottlieb, which is aimed at strong, independent, go getter single women who have this image of the "perfect man" -- and that man never shows up. I've recently come to see myself as someone who "dismisses" guys pretty easily, probably because I feel that they wouldn't understand my feminine side, or they wouldn't make me feel feminine, or they're not tall enough, or they're not smart enough...all of the "enoughs". As I approach 40, with not one relationship under my belt, I feel like I need to start looking carefully at the guys I'm throwing away. I wonder how many of you girls feel the same way? Have you been dating men for a long time? Are your standards TOO high? Do you feel that your cynicism about finding a man makes it difficult to let a good man in?
Some boys just can't help acting like girls...
My pictures: http://www.flickr.com/photos/mayatoronto/
I don't think my standards are too high but I still need the guy to be attractive to me. One thing I've been considering is to give a try to guys that are looking for a more versatile relationship but still want me feminine
Hey everyone -- thought I'd give this thread a bump for the benefit of us gay cds...anyone have anything else to say?
I had another question for all of you -- when you see yourself all dressed up, and if you get excited by yourself, do you feel confused by the fact that you are getting excited by a feminine image? Does it make you question whether you might like women?
Some boys just can't help acting like girls...
My pictures: http://www.flickr.com/photos/mayatoronto/
it would be so great to have a Guy to cuddle up too on these cold winter nights
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
Maya,
Fantastic question.
I'm not exactly the audience you are speaking to, but probably close enough. Getting dressed en femme, is a turn on in itself the feeling of satin on my skin is always wonderful and seeing a pleasing reflection is as well. But its not confusing, when dressed I know what it is that I want and its not what I'm seeing in the mirror.
Very interesting question Maya...I've had those brief moments before and indeed can be very confusing, you ask yourself Am I dressing because I love women or I dress because I feel like one? I even tried to remember and go way back and time if I ever had a crush or a feeling about any woman in particular and my answer is always no I felt admiration on some but never lust or desire.
Barbara,
I find your answer surprising because you don't define yourself as transgendered ie: you are a gay male. Its one of those things that make humanity so infinitely fascinating. You emulate females but have no desire for them. My experience is the opposite, but it leads me to roughly the same place which is I really like men but why?. Have I been hiding myself from myself, am I gay and not bi? No I don't expect you to answer that particular question.
Good question Maya (and thanks for the bump)! I do get turned on when I dress... not because I'm attracted to women, but because I want to be attractive to men.
As a young gay boy, crossdressing was a way to reconcile my attraction to men. I figured if I looked like a girl, that would take the gay stigma out of any relationship I might have. I still fantasize about what it might feel like to live full time as a girl, but alas... I don't think that's in the cards for me. I'm generally happy being male and enjoy the thrill of occasionally presenting as female.
I'm grateful for this forum and smart, kind people like all of you on this Thanksgiving holiday!
xoxo
Christa
Hey all, like toss some of those leftover guys my way LOL. I've had only one little experience or wutever and nothing came of it. Around here it's like as hard to stir up a guy who is into me as it is to find another TG/TS who's outta the closet LOL.
I'm bi...and finding somethning that's more than a simple romp in the hay is like looing for that perverble "needle in a haystack" I guess us girls who would like to have a steay male friend or are looking for a male friend to be a "best bud" or "friend with benefits" face the same challenges and issues that straight geneder females face in finding a straight male friend...
That's why I'm looking more towards finding a bi or gay female friend than I am with a straight male...since I share the same opinion as most females share..."men are such dogs/pigs/or other term"...they seem to only want to get it up, get it in get it off and get it out, and then zip it up and leave...
So really, what's a girl to do now????
Stephanie
Discovering the female self aka "Bitch with an Attitude"
Personally, I can admit that there was a period of time where I really questioned my sexuality and my attraction towards men because I did get turned on by the image of seeing myself dressed...seeing nylon clad legs, cleavage, etc. I think that athough my attraction for men is primary, I would say that I feel attracted to women's bodies and images from time to time. If I see a woman walking down the street in a short skirt, I want to look. I don't feel a desire to "jump her bones", but it's a pleasing image to see. But seeing a woman totally naked without the clothes that I love is not exciting in the least. So, I guess I'm attracted to the clothes! Guess I answered my own question! ha ha..
Some boys just can't help acting like girls...
My pictures: http://www.flickr.com/photos/mayatoronto/
I agree on the clothes too Maya, especially when is a girl within my ethnicity and body type and I have to admit there is a little bit of jealousy when I see one likethat naked but never lust or desire. Now I would comment my attraction to masculinity....I am atracted only to very masculine type kind of guys not pretty guys just raw masculine guys and always question myself why?
