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Thread: Thought I was just a cd...

  1. #26
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    It seems to me that, although I'll allow for exceptions, one cross dresses because of an inner desire to emulate...or more honestly...an inner desire to be a woman. Its hard for any of us, raised as we usually are, to acknowledge that inner need/desire to ourselves. So, its not a great surprise that once we begin to explore and express this part of ourselve, we also become open to the possibility that its more than just the clothes. I know its true in may case and it seems to be a common experience.

  2. #27
    trans punk Badtranny's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aprilrain View Post
    Ya know your TS when you don't want to transition but you do it anyway!
    That's my girl! This is pretty much the essence of the issue. NOBODY wants to transition. Do you think I WANTED to tell every dude I know and my macho bosses that I feel like I'm really a woman and I will be transitioning? Hell no. This is what you do when you literally can't stand to live a lie for one more day. It isn't easy. It will never be easy. I personally did not have the courage required to do this at 18, those that do have my humble respect.
    Quote Originally Posted by STACY B
    At least there is social acceptance in being a drunk in our world. Hell I was good at it too.
    Melissa Hobbes
    www.badtranny.com

  3. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by Badtranny View Post
    NOBODY wants to transition.
    Well, yes and no. I do and I don't. I do because I want to be me. I don't because it's a frightening prospect. Sometimes I think I'll off myself if I can't and sometimes because I feel like I have to transition and maybe dying is preferable. The concept of want in all this is pretty problematic.

    Lea
    Lea

  4. #29
    . Aprilrain's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lea Paine View Post
    Well, yes and no. I do and I don't. I do because I want to be me. I don't because it's a frightening prospect. Sometimes I think I'll off myself if I can't and sometimes because I feel like I have to transition and maybe dying is preferable. The concept of want in all this is pretty problematic.

    Lea
    yes, Lea we do want to be ourselves and transition isn't all hell on earth it can be fun and exciting at times, I was absolutely giddy when I changed my name it was a beautiful August day and I literally walked down one street from the courthouse to the SS Office then to my bank it was as if it were designed that way! Later that night I met the man I'm dating today, It was a good day. I was ecstatic for some time after FFS, I still look in the mirror and smile. And It really does get easier as you go its the in between crap that is pretty rough, I'm still there but I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.

  5. #30
    Aspiring Member elizabethamy's Avatar
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    For me, the sense of power and peace that I get on those too few occasions when I can dress is just overwhelming. I don't do it because I "want" to, but because it makes me feel wonderful,and feeling wonderful is something that is often in very short supply. It's not about clothes, it's not about emulating, it's not about some kind of superficial hobby that I have inexplicably taken up. What exactly it is and how much of it I'll need? I don't know. More than a CD, but a what?

    Cody, I am so much older than you and so committed to family and complicated life, but even in my situation this journey has been a surprise, a revelation, a joy. I have been afraid on some level my whole life. Please skip that part of your adulthood! All the best.

    elizabethamy

  6. #31
    Mizore wannabe Cody Valentine's Avatar
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    Wow, never new Skype was an option. Always thought it was only in person or on the phone. As for actually transitioning I see it as a weight off my shoulders if I decide down that path. Hopefully I won't see it as a burden . That being said I know that it can be overwhelming but if it turns out I go toward transitioning then it will be worth it . But that bridge is not even in sight yet, but I know it's there .
    Jill .

  7. #32
    Living in CD Heaven Helen Grandeis's Avatar
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    The great advantage of age 18 is that you haven't been poisoned by 40 years of testosterone. HRT should produce better results.
    Best Wishes for Personal Peace & Happiness
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    Helen Grandeis

  8. #33
    Gold Member Kaitlyn Michele's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kimdl93 View Post
    It seems to me that, although I'll allow for exceptions, one cross dresses because of an inner desire to emulate...or more honestly...an inner desire to be a woman. Its hard for any of us, raised as we usually are, to acknowledge that inner need/desire to ourselves. So, its not a great surprise that once we begin to explore and express this part of ourselve, we also become open to the possibility that its more than just the clothes. I know its true in may case and it seems to be a common experience.
    I think this is a good point IF you are trannsexual.... ts folk don't want to emulate, they NEED to be...

    the hard part is wanting to crossdress can mean so many things..and there is so much baggage around gender that we all make it so hard on ourselves...starting from the moment we begin dressing..(or for some, repressing their dressing)..
    because most of us were 20,30,40 and we didn't NEED to transition, we were filling our cups with whatever coping we did

    You either are or aren't transsexual... alot of folks are into the other possibilities of gender queer or gender fluidity......the idea of becoming more open to your true nature over time is probably true as well....and it wouldn't be surprising if a gender queer person sees themselves first as a crossdresser, then as a transsexual, and then realizes they are something in the middle...

    it's great if you can start from a point of no baggage..and hopefully more and more young ts folks will be able to feel this way..and Cody if you can do that , you are in a good place!!

  9. #34
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    my mind is female.
    my body is following my mind.
    here is where the "baby steps" came to play its important role.
    one step at the time.
    if you are not sure ( in your mind ) Cory, .....talk to a therapist and take your time.

  10. #35
    Mizore wannabe Cody Valentine's Avatar
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    Thanks for the responses, I have a couple of therapists in mind now. Right now I am trying to get a part time job to cover it. Once I have one, nothing I can think of will stop me from consulting with a therapist.

    Lol. "Cory", not a bad choice for a name... Might use it in the future, try it out. Definately lightened my day though . Thnx
    Jill .

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