Not Who She Said She Was

[Teresa]

Lorileah.
I was hoping you might shed some light on how the forum decides if members are genuine or not, as Krisi says some members are uncovered and thrown off. I personally can't see the point of not being genuine ,to me you are cheating yourself but that's being naive in thinking some people come here for other reasons. I did suspect recently that someone was having fun at our expense.
I also feel Krisi is mainly talking about the M/F section, some of the threads and comments in loved Ones and the TS section are heart rending , it would be inexcusable to be false when members really do open their souls looking for or giving help .

[MelanieAnne]

It's just a matter of degrees. Because we are all presenting ourselves as something other than what we really are.

[Tracii G]

Melanie Anne maybe you are.
There are a bunch of us that are being ourselves everyday out in the big old TG world.

[NicoleScott]

You don't have to be "out in the big old world". There's nothing dishonest about saying I'm a closeted crossdresser and my real name is not Nicole. That's all true. It would be dishonest to claim I'm a GG. I don't post things about myself that might reveal my true identity. Since that would be expected from a closeted crossdresser, it's not dishonest.
I generally believe what I read here.

[ReineD]

I don’t think it matters much in the CD or NB section whether someone’s a fake or not. It matters or it used to matter more in the TS section. There are more resources available now for transitioners, but it wasn’t that long ago when transition was more difficult, when it was also more difficult to meet others who had already transitioned. The people who sought support from members in the TS section would not have wanted someone to share "made-up" experience, given that a transitioner has a greater investment in his/her decisions (they have more to lose) than someone who is flexible with their presentation.

I believe the person you refer to posted regularly in the TS section.

[Jenniferathome]

.... we are all presenting ourselves as something other than what we really are.

You do not represent me. Your pronoun usage is poorly chosen.

[Ineke Vashon]

I note just a few too many OLD in this thread. Dirty OLD man, OLD creep. One does not have to be old to be dirty or a creep or whatever. My objection stems from being an octogenarian. I am old but not OLD in that sense. Be kind to seniors please.
Some of us even wear feminine attire.

Ineke

[Heidi Stevens]

I likening this to the old Umpire quote: I call 'em as I see 'em! And if I don't see 'em, I make it up. Unless you meet your fellow sisters who post here IN PERSON, you can't completely trust anyone on line. I am very trusting to all. I know nearly all of you are representing yourselves. But unless you meet someone in person, or with a person who met another member, we all have to accept there could always be a poser among us. My hope is we can all trust each other here and be who we are.

[docrobbysherry]

Nonsense! If u really r interested in finding out what other dressers r like, if u really care if they're like they appear to be on line? U'll do more than just chat on line about it. I believe most of u don't really care?

When I wondered about that 7 years ago after some in depth chats here, I needed to know! So, I got off my butt and flew to Atlanta for the SCC T event. Not only did see CD's in person for the very first time, I got to meet the 35 cd.comers that were there.

I'll never forget my first nite there. After stowing my bags I wondered into the hotel bar which was packed with men in dresses. I walked up to the first table and said, "Hi". Turns out everyone at that table was a cd.comer. A couple of which I went there specifically to meet. That was followed by 4 more SCC's where I got to know so many more girls from here. Like me, some still visit here!

Not a bad apple in the lot. Didn't meet a phony at any of the events. Except possibly me!

Like I tell my FB "friends" when they talk about us being friends, "We aren't real friends. I don't know anything about u. If u disappeared tomorrow it wouldn't bother either one of us. To be friends we would have to meet and get to know each other."

If u really wonder if folks here r the same in person as online? Go and meet some cd.comers. I'm betting if u and they show up, they're not only going to be the real deal, I think you're going meet some very remarkable folks!

If u don't know them except online does it really matter if they're "real" or not?

[Georgette_USA]

It matters or it used to matter more in the TS section. There are more resources available now for transitioners, but it wasn’t that long ago when transition was more difficult, when it was also more difficult to meet others who had already transitioned. The people who sought support from members in the TS section would not have wanted someone to share "made-up" experience, given that a transitioner has a greater investment in his/her decisions (they have more to lose) than someone who is flexible with their presentation.

I believe the person you refer to posted regularly in the TS section.

I keep getting questioned about my background. Transitioned in the late 70s. I find it's pointless to keep arguing about the past. I also forget many have a made up FB page also. I posted my FB page Georgette Cornio , on some posts that were deleted. Was told that it doesn't look like a TG/TS page. Not sure what it is supposed to look like. There are some on here that are also on it, that I meet with IN PERSON. Also some of my friends list from here.

I am too old to care anymore. Retired, no SO, whole family and friends know my background.

Have heard rumours of someone on the TS forums also.

I may be naive but not sure why anyone would get on a site like this and make up all kinds of things. I can see where some on the TS forums, wouldn't want someone to give BAD advice.

[Lorileah]

It isn't usually bad advice but often more made up experiences, especially in the TS realm. Made up lives and boyfriends and jobs and parties with Brad Pitt that led to Angelina breaking up with him (ops, um...ignore that Brad and I didn't hook up...it was someone else)

[Valery L]

I don't even know who am I...

[Georgette_USA]

but often more made up experiences, especially in the TS realm. Made up lives and boyfriends and jobs and parties with Brad Pitt that led to Angelina breaking up with him (ops, um...ignore that Brad and I didn't hook up...it was someone else)

I have probably the most uninteresting experiences. My adventures in the 70s-80s were interesting but NO boyfriends, all too real boring jobs, and until recently not much on parties. Of course a party with both Brad and Angelina sounds good.

My partner, also a Post MtF, and I bought a plain suburban house and for 30+ years just grew old together.

[ReineD]

I may be naive but not sure why anyone would get on a site like this and make up all kinds of things.

They do it to play out their fantasies. It enables a sim-type "ideal" life they have decided to not pursue in real life.

I can see where some on the TS forums, wouldn't want someone to give BAD advice.

Precisely. The last thing a potential transitioner needs is for a member to relate fantasy experiences. People who wonder if they should take that step need to hear from transitioners about what they really went through, not from someone who plays out a fantasy version online.

[Kate Simmons]

One person said something about others posting 20 year old pics. So what? Unless you are looking for a date, what's the difference? Better than posting no pic. Besides some of us look the same as we did then anyway. There may also be technical reasons why they cannot use a recent pic. Not everyone is a cyber whiz. I just accept everyone for who they say they are unless they prove differently.

[ellbee]

Better than posting no pic.

How do you figure that one?


For the record, I have no photos of myself. I stupidly trashed them over the years. But even if I did still have some, I'm not sure I would be using one as my avatar here. Just my personal preference.

I share enough in other ways, thanks.

And even though I'm not particularly recognizable (co-workers who I've worked with 40+ hours/week for years in the same department genuinely had no idea who I was while all dolled-up, whether via photos or even in-person, for example), and *plus* I actually make a pretty cute chick (which is fine if no one here believes me or not), I still don't feel it's a requirement in order to be here.


Besides, Bugs is one of my idols. That "wascally wabbit" pulled the wool over so many characters' eyes while in drag, it's not even funny.

Actually, it is pretty funny.


But photos or lack thereof is a non-issue, IMO.

[Meghan4now]

Well my thought on the matter is that we all play some role in our lives every day. We are not exposing our true selves fully to everyone every day. We do hold back, a least a little. And in fact we don't even know the full extent of our selves. But that's life, so what?

Where we run into problems here is when people create fantastic stories (I lost 20 lbs, and went from a dress size 20 to a 4. As if) that create a false expectation or hope. For a group of people that are typically self critical, and some potential delusional, that is not helpful. The other thing is that if someone feels that the lies have played their emotions, and they have invested time in being sympathetic, they may be angry to feel duped or played. Partially their own fault for emotionally investing.

As far as photos go. Many of us wish we could look better, and fall into the comparison trap. Hard to compete with a photoshopped version of Heidi Klum!

I personally try to be honest in my photos and post. Am I really a female, no, but I do love to create that illusion as an art form. My art form is paint and tape, not pixels. Others may feel different so photoshopping doesn't feel dishonest to them.

Oh and BTW my current photos are representations of how I've been feeling lately. Not what I look like.

[ChristinaK]

I guess I'm naive. I haven't read anything that seemed suspicious to me. But, I know there are dishonest and nefarious characters out there. I just don't like to distrust people.

Sure wish I hadn't given all my money to that prince though!

I'm sure that if one read all my posts, they would find contradictions. As a girl wrote earlier, many of us have changed as we have evolved in our TG journey.

Thanks to this site, I found the courage to go out into the world and am so glad I did. Early on, I probably said I'm a closet CDer.

So, armed with this new found knowledge about some on this site, I will be more careful about believing some posts, but I don't make decisions because of any of them individually. The collective is what has changed my life and I believe the vast majority of the people on here are genuine.

[Krisi]

............................... The last thing a potential transitioner needs is for a member to relate fantasy experiences. People who wonder if they should take that step need to hear from transitioners about what they really went through, not from someone who plays out a fantasy version online.

And there is the problem. It's far too easy for someone to claim they are this or claim they are that and make up a "life". It's easy on the Internet and it's all too common. Only when you meet someone in real life do you have a chance to know what and who they really are. And sometimes even then one can make a mistake.

The member I was referring to in my original post claimed to have transitioned many years ago and was living and working as a woman. I don't know if that turned out to be false or not, all I know is what I posted.

Are the other transsexuals genuine? Are the GGs genuine? Are you genuine (and I don't mean that as an insult, I'm just being honest)? We have no way of knowing.

As I posted in my original post, sometimes things don't add up for some people. It's like when you tell a lie you set yourself up for more lies and it's easy to forget some of the lies you've told.

To address some of the concerns that have been posted, Yes, people change over time. You might have worn just panties years ago but now you go out in public as a crossdresser. That's not what I'm discussing. Many of us distort some details of our lives to keep our true identity hidden. Thins like saying we went to Cuba when we really went to Mexico. Things like saying we play golf when we really are fishing. Again, that's not the point.

I'm talking about blatantly false claims that we are this or we are that or we have done this or we have done that and then giving advice based on those lies.

[Gwyneth]

I guess I'm one of those old creeps. Aging, losing "T". Desiring a new direction in my life whether it ever happens or not. If you ever want to see just how far people can take the fantasy side of their lives to a whole new level, troll around on your local craigslist personals.

I could post up a fictional avatar, but I haven't. If I ever get the nerve to "doll up" and take a pic, I post it here. But I've been reading a lot of threads on this site for a while and so far like what I've found. I have one friend that's been great too. One day maybe I'll be a creepy old gurl! You'll be the 1st to know.

[Teresa]

Sherry,
I don't fully agree with you about not caring about other members , some have become good friends that do care as far as the online system allows. I do miss some who appear to have left.

I certainly wouldn't be going out the door now and meeting other members of the TG community if Carole hadn't introduced herself through the forum and invited me along to her social group, and like you I have met other CD.comers at the group. I will add that they are a mix of TSs and Cders from really passable to a guy in a dress but we all get along just fine.

[Meg East]

The internet is a sea of trolls. Proof can be found in the number of visitors viewing this site at any one time. Personally, I try to keep some separation and privacy when on any site. Other than my avatar, I haven't posted any photos of myself.

Just checked, and there 23 members and 129 guests (an undefined term grouping lurkers, etc.)

[Krisi]

It was pointed out long ago that the "guests" may be members who didn't bother to log in.

[Jenniferathome]

The internet is a sea of trolls. Proof can be found in the number of visitors viewing this site at any one time...

Just checked, and there 23 members and 129 guests (an undefined term grouping lurkers, etc.)

Did you not lurk at all prior to joining? Were you a troll then? Those viewing anonymously are likely too shamed/afraid to join at this time. Those that want something pornographic in nature quickly drop off as this site will not fill that void.

[Sandra]

Both myself and Tamara do an IP check before we let new members in, it's amazing how many banned will try to get back in by just changing their username. We also check emails and do our best and use our judgement.

Yes some do slip through, everything can be ok but then when they start posting things don't add up and people start to notice, then more digging is done by myself and Tamara then action is any is taken.