[SIZE=3]Here I am preparing to finally file the divorce papers and I am shaking my head is such disbelief. I don’t think that I have ever had things happen which leave me questioning everything in my life.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]My wife went yesterday and did something very sweet and over the top to help both of us. We were having severe cash flow issues waiting on some new contracts to be signed and she sold some jewelry which she had inherited and one piece that I gave her years before for cash to shore up our finances. We had been struggling for 2 weeks and were behind on some of our bills but we were holding our own. I was a little upset at her selling the piece that I gave her but I understood. The money really came in handy. This act of selflessness caused me to become a pile of mush. It led to so many conversations yesterday which got us back to talking in a way that no one could ever explain. [/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]We discussed the reasons for the divorce and secrets which she knew of but had never seen. It was pretty amazing all in all. She had come over to my house which she had never done so I showed her different pairs of shoes and purses that I owned. Then she went into my closet and we discussed my style of clothing where it was determined that I was imitating her style. I told her that I loved the way she dressed and I only wished to look as feminine as her. This set off a whole set of conversations where we discussed the meetup group that I run in Denver. The whole thing was at a level of understanding and acceptance that she had never shown before. I couldn’t believe the way this conversation was progressing. We hadn’t talked like this in many years. She even saw pictures of many of my friends and me. She had never wanted to see a picture of me before and she said it wasn’t as bad as she thought it would be, but that I did look my mom. Oh well at least I wasn’t an ugly oger. [/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]It was one of the best days that we had spent together. I took her to dinner and then we bought a movie which both of us wanted to see and I wanted to keep. She had agreed several weeks ago to go to a Halloween party with me dressed on the 23rd. So we bought her costume and I thought I would get a different costume but I like the original costume the best after all so later this week I will go back and try it on before buying it. We talked about being TG and she understood so much more than ever before. This left me wondering what to do next. [/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]This was a small issue which she said that she would never accept and all of a sudden she is accepting. I now am questioning my reasons for the divorce and whether or not I should try to deal with the bigger issues as well. I’m just not sure where to go next. I think the only prudent thing to do is wait on filing until we have a lot more conversations. We made so much progress in one day that it becomes possible to work through the rest of the issues. I still love her and probably always will, but I just know we have grown apart. We want totally different things in life and I am content to let her find someone else who will make her happy because together we are miserable. But today was so different that I have to go back 5-10 years before I can even remember a day close to this one. [/SIZE]