What is in a name

[Michelia]

I am at a crossroads with my female name. I find myself going out more and more, and often I frequent the same places in drab and en femme. I am also finding out that everyone is still calling me by my male name. When asked for my name, I also give out my male name, even if I am fully dressed. It is more comfortable for me. I guess my female identity is not tied to Michelia, as it is still me and I do not feel like a different person.

This is starting to weigh on me, because the more and more I get out fully dressed it is probably safer to be called by my female name, specially if I happen to run into people I do not know.

Does anyone else run into this problem? How did you finally deal with it?

[Raquel June]

I guess it depends what you're comfortable with. On one hand, I could care less if people call me by my male name (I know a few girls with my male name, after all). OTOH, when someone calls you "him" when you're obviously presenting as female, that's a slap in the face, and calling you by your male name could be perceived similarly. Then again, I've also had people buy me multiple drinks and still refer to me as "him," and I really can't get offended when someone is being nice and happens to be kinda clueless.

I've always had TG feelings but I never went by a female name till a couple years ago. I don't really think it's that big a deal. We're not going to revoke your CD card if people like to call you Bob.

If you're uncomfortable just let people know. Say you think it's safer if they leave your guy name out of it.

[StacyCD]

Unless you have a male/female name, I would suggest it's better to use a feminized form of your male name (i.e., Bob--> Bobbie) or use a female name different from your male name. The idea of a 'boy named Sue' comes to mind.

[tricia_uktv]

I only dress far away from home but then for long periods. To everyone there I am Tricia. Some do know my male name but all call me Trish or Tricia. Its lovely and it helps me become the person I am.

[Tashee]

I used to take my weapon along. If the girls or boys got my name wrong I used to make then dance:devil:
They all got it very quickly. I may not be cute. I look sweet but packing I can be one demanding Bitc_____h:love:
Tashee see its EZ:tongueout

[JoAnne Wheeler]

Besides all of you girls on this Forum, my Spouse is the only other person who knows my name - and she refers to me as JoAnne when I'm dressed

JoAnne Wheeler

[Persephone]

I feel annoyed if someone uses my other "boy" name when I am out and about and feel really hurt if referred to as "he."

I respect the fact that it is difficult for those who know me from both perspectives to always be expected to shift back and forth, which is why I try to maintain the two facets as different personnae, hoping that will help. After all, when someone knows a pair of twins - one male and one female - they seldom confuse their genders.

[Lisa Golightly]

Oddly I found my friends adopted my female name far faster than I was comfortable with... Presenting as male and having a male friend shouting across a packed bar 'Oi, Lisa what do you want to drink?' kind of made me squirm a bit I can tell you... Still I'm used to it now... and it is so rare I hear my male name I tend to have to double take and think 'oh, you mean me!?!'

I think the more you hear your name used by others around you the more familiar it becomes to you...

[NICOLETV]

i am alot like lisa when it comes to my female name, i also have friends that call me by female name when not dressed,but it does not bother me,i also have some friend that call me by my male name followed by nicole which is great and i'm fine with it

[Michaella]

I sort of felt obliged to reply, given the similarity of the name I use when posting to yours, Michelia. But except for this forum, I don't use the name myself.

What happened was that one of the first times I went out in public I had arranged to meet a woman friend at a film. It was in a school, after hours, and we needed to sign-in. She went ahead and signed in, and turned to me and said, "I signed you in as Michaella." Felt a bit strange. One, to be treated as a woman to be taken care of--she had been holding the door open for me, that sort of thing--and by a woman at that, was quite a surprise. She's rather androgynous in dress and behaviour, though there's no way anyone would not immediately see her as a very attractive woman, but she somehow took on a very old-fashioned male role. And it was a real surprise to me, I had not even thought of using a female name. But it seemed to fit, not a big stretch from my real name, and pleasant sounding. And I have to admit it was a bit of a kick to hear myself called by a woman's name.

But do I ever think of myself as someone else, as "Michaella?" No. I guess, if I go out again and need to use a female name to avoid a problem, I would use it. I'd rather be myself in every way, just in more feminine style, but that's not always an option. While in male mode I would never expect to be called Michaella, and I don't think of Michaella as somehow a different person.

Subtle stuff, this.

Michaella

[LauraJanus]

The beauty of being a tg is that you can choose a name that really suits you and means something to you, allowing you to create your own alter ego, what a gift

[Michelia]

I sort of felt obliged to reply, given the similarity of the name I use when posting to yours, Michelia. But except for this forum, I don't use the name myself.

What happened was that one of the first times I went out in public I had arranged to meet a woman friend at a film. It was in a school, after hours, and we needed to sign-in. She went ahead and signed in, and turned to me and said, "I signed you in as Michaella." Felt a bit strange. One, to be treated as a woman to be taken care of--she had been holding the door open for me, that sort of thing--and by a woman at that, was quite a surprise. She's rather androgynous in dress and behaviour, though there's no way anyone would not immediately see her as a very attractive woman, but she somehow took on a very old-fashioned male role. And it was a real surprise to me, I had not even thought of using a female name. But it seemed to fit, not a big stretch from my real name, and pleasant sounding. And I have to admit it was a bit of a kick to hear myself called by a woman's name.

But do I ever think of myself as someone else, as "Michaella?" No. I guess, if I go out again and need to use a female name to avoid a problem, I would use it. I'd rather be myself in every way, just in more feminine style, but that's not always an option. While in male mode I would never expect to be called Michaella, and I don't think of Michaella as somehow a different person.

Subtle stuff, this.

Michaella

Michaella:

I have ofter seen your name. It reminds me of a lady that helped raise me when I was very little. I have a picture of her, but I have never seen her since. Her name was the same as yours but with one L. I have the fondest vague memories of her...

[MissConstrued]

OTOH, when someone calls you "him" when you're obviously presenting as female, that's a slap in the face, and calling you by your male name could be perceived similarly.


I look at it from my own perspective -- I have a hard enough time remembering names that it would be unfair of me to ask folks to remember two names for one person! And it would probably f*ck with my own head too much as well, trying to remember who I am.

Nope, I'm ok with being called by my given name, regardless of how I'm dressed. I still have XY chromosomes, and the same junk, under the makeup and pretty duds. I don't think I'm fooling anyone, anyhow. Just don't call me late for dinner.

[Michelia]

Nope, I'm ok with being called by my given name, regardless of how I'm dressed. I still have XY chromosomes, and the same junk, under the makeup and pretty duds. I don't think I'm fooling anyone, anyhow. Just don't call me late for dinner.

I looks like you could fool many. You look very good.



I actually felt funny one day when I was in male mode but dressed pretty girly and this lady was doing her best at a Dressbarn by calling me "miss".

[IDealinDreams]

Personally, if I am cross dressing, and especially if I think I did a really good job, and someone calls me 'Chase' instead of 'Chastity', or, worse yet, calls me he or him, or, worst of all, calls me man (not as in "Hey, man, what's up?" Although I don't like that, I mean if I am described as "young, white man") then a small nuclear bomb goes off in my head, filling me with a potent mix of embarrassment, pure rage, confusion, and thoughts of a painless and quick suicide.