Honey equals Me

[Honey]

I read many posts and I'm interested in why some people have two selves - male and female.

Not pointing at anyone, but an example of a thread like do you pose as female on forums etc etc etc.

I feel that Honey, and my male counterpart are very similar. I've always had more female traditional roles - some examples are checkout chick, office girl etc. I've often been told I'm more a girl than a guy etc.

I also believe that if I ever (no I don't want to) went the full way that I wouldn't change a lot in my mental state of mind - I would still be the personality I am now.

I can't confirm that, but it's what I believe.

A bit of background on myself - I've only recently admitted to myself that I do like women's clothing, but then I've got a bit further to getting a wig, forms and would desire to be able to pass as a female, but still be a guy. I love my bits, and if there was a pill that could give me instant boobs for 3 hours etc, I would kill for. But as to getting plants? Nah, no thanks.

I've been out once, and doubt I passed, but I thought I looked great.

But even when I went out - I was still me, just felt I was in a different body.

Taking the makeup off that night was probably the saddest I've been with my state, I was going from beautiful, to just plain old me.

I do believe that I would of been happier if I was born a girl, than a boy, but wouldn't want to change now, I would of missed out all the things that make a GG a GG, good and bad.

Just interested in what others think about split state of mind between guy/girl.

[DAVIDA]

Hi Honey! And welcome to the forum!
Personally, there are not two sides to me, one being male and the other feminine. There is just, Me! It does not matter what I am wearing, I am the same.

[Lilith Moon]

I agree. There's just me in this body, I'm the sole owner, regardless of how I'm dressed.

When I see third person references such as "Lilith is going to pay a visit tonight" used as code for "I'm going to dress up" I wonder if some people do genuinely see themselves as "me and him" or "me and her". I just don't get that.

[Sheila]

Honey you have basically said what Debs would say about her/himself ........ she is equally comfortable in both modes ... would not give up her guy side for anything, she has far too much fun doing the guy things to want to lose touch in anyway shape or form on a permenant basis, sure Debs is fun, and he enjoys being Debs.

Again there is very little difference between male Debs and female Debs, the mindset is the same, sure a few more wiggles and a bit more leg showing, but the mindset is one and the same, no girly films for that girl etc etc, he enjoys doing the things he does in guy mode as Debs ...... well them that he can without outing himself to his mates :heehee::heehee:

[JoAnne Wheeler]

I think I have two sides - my female side I love - my male side I only tolerate

JoAnne Wheeler

[Jacky Aikou]

Interesting topic, Honey! I'm sure there are a lot of varying views.

I always been somewhat aloof and self-conscious, and my internal dialogue (not to imply that I talk to myself all the time! well, maybe sometimes :heehee:) doesn't do a magical about-face when I finish putting on my makeup and jewlery and walk off in a pair of heels. Like it or not, me is me no matter how cute the attire. That's not to say that I don't manifest all the (positive) feminine traits I can think of or feel while dressed, in order to fit the part. I'm just letting go of all those male inhibitions - Thou shalt not snuggle, Thou shalt not enjoy chick flicks, Thou shalt not meander and shop or be emotional... Those femme inclinations are there and part of my personality full-time, but they aren't allowed to really surface except when I'm in the privacy of my own home or out and about as Jacky (which has only been once, so far).

So in short I do feel and behave differently while en femme, but inside, it's still the same old me. I'm almost envious of the girls here who are like split personalities and magically switch to a feminine mindset the moment the lingerie goes on! :daydreaming:

Either way, though, bravo to us all who have the courage to be true to themselves. :hugs:

[gennee]

I found a balance when I first started. There are things I enjoy about both. What I've gained the most is seeing life from the feminine perspective. Being an introspective person, I have been able to work on aspects of my persoanlity that need improvement.

Gennee

[Laura Evans]

Interesting topic, Honey! I'm sure there are a lot of varying views.

I always been somewhat aloof and self-conscious, and my internal dialogue (not to imply that I talk to myself all the time! well, maybe sometimes :heehee:) doesn't do a magical about-face when I finish putting on my makeup and jewlery and walk off in a pair of heels. Like it or not, me is me no matter how cute the attire. That's not to say that I don't manifest all the (positive) feminine traits I can think of or feel while dressed, in order to fit the part. I'm just letting go of all those male inhibitions - Thou shalt not snuggle, Thou shalt not enjoy chick flicks, Thou shalt not meander and shop or be emotional... Those femme inclinations are there and part of my personality full-time, but they aren't allowed to really surface except when I'm in the privacy of my own home or out and about as Jacky (which has only been once, so far).

So in short I do feel and behave differently while en femme, but inside, it's still the same old me. I'm almost envious of the girls here who are like split personalities and magically switch to a feminine mindset the moment the lingerie goes on! :daydreaming:

Either way, though, bravo to us all who have the courage to be true to themselves. :hugs:


Ditto for me, I am the same badic personality in either mode but just behave slightly different when enfemme.

[Laura Evans]

...basic personality...
need to proofread these better:doh:

[docrobbysherry]

U can ALWAYS go back and edit your original post! I do it ALL THE TIME!:doh:


...basic personality...
need to proofread these better:doh:

[Kate Simmons]

Derpends on the person really. There is a learning curve and growth involved when we finally admit we have these feelings and begin to embrace them. We may "act out" somewhat just as a child does until we get our bearings.:)

[docrobbysherry]

When I read posts that refer to a person's, "other", or "two" side(s)!:eek:
It sounds schitzo!

I'm ALWAYS me, no matter how I'm dressed. The woman in the mirror and photos is mearly a phenomenon! I DON'T see her as an expressional of my inner self, rather, a 3rd person. COMPLETELY different from "me"!:brolleyes:

[Deborah Jane]

Honey you have basically said what Debs would say about her/himself ........ she is equally comfortable in both modes ... would not give up her guy side for anything, she has far too much fun doing the guy things to want to lose touch in anyway shape or form on a permenant basis, sure Debs is fun, and he enjoys being Debs.

Again there is very little difference between male Debs and female Debs, the mindset is the same, sure a few more wiggles and a bit more leg showing, but the mindset is one and the same, no girly films for that girl etc etc, he enjoys doing the things he does in guy mode as Debs ...... well them that he can without outing himself to his mates :heehee::heehee:

Theres no point in me saying anything now.
Sheila,s summed me up perfectly, she knows me well :hugs: :)

[ladybirdloves]

I believe there is just one me I can see that when I look in the mirror as I know I look like a bloke in a frock but there is no doubt that something in my mindset changes when I dress...

[AliceJaneInNewcastle]

While I only have one personality, I find it convenient to have 2 distinct identities for social purposes.

When I'm in boy mode and talking to my wife or son, it's convenient to be able to refer to Alice in the 3rd person. When I'm in girl mode, particularly when I'm out with the girls, I occasionally talk about my male side in the 3rd person.

In each case, the people who I'm talking to know who I'm talking about, but bystanders don't. I think that my wife is more comfortable with it this way, and I don't see a need to accidently out myself to every bystander who happens to eavesdrop on our conversations.

If I was completely out, as a friend of mine is, I probably wouldn't bother using 3rd person.

Alice

[Tashee]

Coming from who I had to be at my work. I some how feel the rub of this thread. I am so happy you free'd yourself at an early age. WOW. That is great.

Now Is that all your doing or some circumstance? Most my age had no idea who they were. Some made it so far to end in suicide. AM I gay? Straight ? Boy-girl.

Others were severely beaten by parents. I was hell A big girl and boy/ My Mom called me SICK. My DAD attacked me. And they were not even sure.

Its great you are you. Its also great everyone else made it this far in their own personal journey-

Being a cop- DO YOU know how many suicides I investigated in which the teenager was a cross dresser.. That gets left out in the public version- But I cry- I get here and see how many make it this far and I thank God- And it was not just teens. It was all range of ages- We found this one soul, maybe 79 years of age. Investigating it. You see the lengths and importance to these to keep this hidden. In some cases-

I am sorry-I do not mean to go off on you. Myself I am very ill too and today is a real real bad day for Tashee.

[Sammy777]

Basically - I am me.
I may feel different & even act differently while dressed but there is no me or her, Or me and her, or whatever.

I don't have to be fully dressed to have Samantha come out, or more to the point come to the surface.
"She" is not an other person but a part of who I am as a whole.

On the other hand, no matter how hard you may or may not want to try, you will find that talking about yourself in the 3rd person at times is just an unavoidable part of all this.

And as others have pointed out - talking about yourself [be it Him in girl mode or Her in guy mode] in the 3rd person is sometimes a "necessary evil" just to make things go smoother in your life & make it easier to talk about things around people who may not know about your "other" side.

Not to mention having people around you that do the same thing for you is a nice feeling as well.
The last thing you [Or most of us] want is to be out & called by or referred to as "Bob", unless of course [like some] you are OK with that.
I think it is the same no matter if you "pass" or if you are just "a guy in a dress", you wouldn't want to confirm what others may or may not be thinking or how they do/don't see you.