Scary Moment

[Persephone]

My spouse and I were out to dinner and I went to the Lady's Room to wash up.

I was in there alone when the door opened and a young girl came in and went into one of the stalls.

Suddenly I thought about what could happen if the mother had decided, a few moments later, to come in too, for some reason "read" me, and realized that "a man" had been alone in the Lady's Room with her young daughter.

Not a good thought, and not one that we usually consider when we discuss which restroom to use.

[Leanne2]

Yes, I worry about that too. When I go in the lady's bathroom I go straight to the wheelchair stall if it's available. That large stall gives me a buffer from someone else that might come in. Then I don't loiter when I leave. I wash my hands, check my look in the mirror, and get out. We have to be careful. Leanne

[Tashee]

WOW yes- good idea---Very perceptive P----You are correct in your assessment.

Its sad but true---Sounds like a washed up Sleuth show-But you are correct.

[Karren H]

Lol. I've been trapped in rest area ladies rooms a few times by groups of young girls, with and without their mothers and did not come out while they were there for that very reason.. Best to us a unisex restroom if available, in my humble opinion..

[Lora Olivia]

Yes thinking about this is a scary proposition, but that is why if you are going to be out and about and using the ladies you must not think. What I mean by this is you just have to BE...and what are you being? A man wearing womens cloths hanging out in the ladies room or are you a woman doing what everyone else is there to do. Do women hide in the stall waiting til the room empties? No I think not. I say do your business, wash hands and check appearance and leave. Last time I was out I had almost exactly that experience and washed hands next to a lady and her daughter no problem

[Tashee]

True-----But if read---And read by a child at worst-----Take this advice from a soon to be retired cop--Its NOT GOOD.

Now as you say. You just be and it goes fine all is well then---

I am sure 99.98 mean no harm----Its the bad apple that happens once that gets everybody all crazy-


let me tell you about a complaint I had to go and settle. k?

it was a cross dresser like one of us. A nice nice soul- The neighbor---NO KNOCK ON CONSERVATIVE OR RELIGION--the neighbor a religious conservative-

The X Dressa would go out into her yard she was in her young 3o's a free spirit---I must add a Home Owner.

The compliant logged. the women wanted us to make---This crazy child molester stop cross dressing and having parties etc..She really wanted us, me to bar her from going outside dressed when her daughter was, is home.

My heart broke
1 it was a waste of time
2 it was is an embarrassment for the poor lady---The Cross dresser--


This mind set is out there- If I was not the officer still nothing would have happened. But I did not tear at the like minded dressers soul and self esteem as the other officers would have subtly done.

Moral to my babble. I am sorry it my condition that makes it hard if NOT impossible for me to write.

Moral. There are many who will cause a scene who will try to enforce their morals-And stereotypes about us flourish in certain mind sets.. We have hope. Our you is what I find pretty common sense, progressive thinkers.

But add some poison into a little religion those gains tun into losses-Thank God not all the spiritual religious are bigoted.:hugs:


I re read. Its tough to understand. heck I try. Its the best Tashee can do. I am sorry. I have so many helpful points I just can not get them out at most times.
Sorry..i try. I am just at best trying to be a helpful sister..who by chance has different exp to draw from...

[Sally2005]

Probably what would alarm the mother is if you look like you did something wrong. Just go about your business and be a woman. It is prudent to time your exit though, just in case. Never hang around combing your hair and stuff, just get in and out as efficiently as possible.

[Beth785]

When I have to go, I just head in, do my business and get out. I like to carry a bottle of hand sanitizer to remove a step and speed up the process. I also like to pick my places. A family restroom or a one holer are preferable, but the little used restrooms are okay, too. I try to steer clear of the big box stores, as they aren't too clean, plus pretty busy places. But, when Mother Nature calls, you have to accept the charges!.

[Laura Evans]

Yes thinking about this is a scary proposition, but that is why if you are going to be out and about and using the ladies you must not think. What I mean by this is you just have to BE...and what are you being? A man wearing womens cloths hanging out in the ladies room or are you a woman doing what everyone else is there to do. Do women hide in the stall waiting til the room empties? No I think not. I say do your business, wash hands and check appearance and leave. Last time I was out I had almost exactly that experience and washed hands next to a lady and her daughter no problem

I so agree with Olivia. What you are thinking will reveal itself in your mannerism, your confidence, etc... That is what gives you away. Do your business and leave. I also agree with Tashee that sometimes these things are the product of other peoples minds and at times we do need to be cautious.

[beenherelongtime]

that could be disasterous, but think of what it would mean if you used the mens room.

[Emily Ann Brown]

I remember being in the ladies room at a club one time, when a REAL WOMEN pop in and I was coming out of the stall...and she stopped me and wanted to tell me all about the turkey of a blind date she was there with. HA HA HA HA. I quick figure out she had been drinking too much to read me. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Em

[Kelli Michelle]

that could be disasterous, but think of what it would mean if you used the mens room.

Exactly. When you are clearly dressed as a woman, you really must use the women's restroom, if there is just a men's and women's restroom. The men would definitely not like you using the men's, and besides young boys go in there.Really no option (unless you are in a lesbian bar).

I can't get over society thinking that being gay or transgendered means that you are into young kids. Sad commentary.

[Karen564]

Unfortunately, because of lack of understanding and FEAR of Transgendered people in general, and a few bad apples out there, they think of us as sex maniac freaks violating there space. And that's just so far from the truth, & so sad.

Karen

[Kelli Michelle]

On the other hand, my CD friend Dominique was washing her hands in the ladies' when a woman came in and asked her: "I must rush, would you mind holding my baby for me?" So there's Dominique going goo goo for several minutes until the woman comes out to retrieve the little one.

Call that passing or what?

That is a hoot. Sounds like a rite of passage to me. Awesome.

[Persephone]

I have so many helpful points I just can not get them out at most times.

Your message was fine, Tashee. I'm not sure what you are experiencing that appears to be making it difficult for you to write right now, but just want to give you a hug. :hugs:


I like to carry a bottle of hand sanitizer to remove a step and speed up the process.

That could make you look a little conspicuous, Beth. Walking out of the Lady's Room without washing your hands is somewhat unusual.

According to a survey commissioned by the American Society for Microbiology and the Soap and Detergent Association, while only 66% of men wash their hands after using the restroom, some 88% of women do so.

By the way, it has been my experience that men and women wash their hands differently. Men seem to do it by opening their fingers and interlacing them as they wash; women tend to keep their fingers together, as if wearing mittens, when washing.

[Linda C]

Yup - for the same reason - I find it hard to go out : (

[Sally24]

I was in the ladies room at a mall recently and there was what sounded like a youngish girl in a stall crying. I really wanted to ask if she needed help but thought better of it and just left. I hate it when who we are limits us in what we know we should do!

[Nicki B]

On the other hand, my CD friend Dominique was washing her hands in the ladies' when a woman came in and asked her: "I must rush, would you mind holding my baby for me?" So there's Dominique going goo goo for several minutes until the woman comes out to retrieve the little one.

Call that passing or what?

It's either passing, or being accepted - one of the two, certainly.. :D


I was in the ladies room at a mall recently and there was what sounded like a youngish girl in a stall crying. I really wanted to ask if she needed help but thought better of it and just left. I hate it when who we are limits us in what we know we should do!

Honestly, I'd have asked through the door if I could help?

But then, I do seem to get into silly positions (http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=97581).. :o

[Christinedreamer]

Think about what straight, non TG men endure. They are all subject to immediate suspicion of child molesting of even their own kids if they so much as hug them when the wrong people are watching.

My GF and I went to great lengths to adopt an abused brother and sister age 5 and 7 a few years ago. When we first met these kids at church, the boy gravitated to my GF and the girl came over very shyly to me and slowly climbed on my lap. I held her gently and in about 10 seconds she put her arms around my neck and held on for all she was worth and did NOT want to get down.

Her caregiver had a hard time getting her to go home after church and the next week the scene was repeated. These kids went to no one else but us.

One weekend we asked the caregivers if the kids could stay over at our house. We have two big dogs that the kids knew about and wanted to see.

They stayed the night and at about 6:00 the next morning they came into the bedroom and asked if they could get in bed with us just as kids love to do with their parents. We said sure and so we sat there watching cartoons until about 10:00. The two of us, the two kids and the two dogs.

When the kids went home they told the caregivers that we let them help in the kitchen cooking, we took them to the aquarium, we had great meals and they slept in a big clean bed and then came into our bedroom where we all watched cartoons.

That was a red flag to the caregiver. She reported that we let the kids sleep with us, (untrue) and therefore we were unsafe to be around kids.

As a result, the kids were not adopted and they are still in the state facilities.

4 broken hearts and 2 ruined lives due to the imagined and assumed improper conduct. Welcome to America.

This has happened to dads with their own kids when there is NOTHING improper going on.

Not every man in this country is a pedophile.

[Michelia]

[QUOTE=Christinedreamer;1605994]

This has happened to dads with their own kids when there is NOTHING improper going on.

QUOTE]

It sounds like you were the perfect couple for those children. How terribly sad. I would have had the same problem. How can you tell the kids no?

You have me very worried now about your story about dads and their sons.

I want to know more.

I will never stop sleeping with my boy if he wants to. Nor will I ever stop kissing and hugging him all the time. Again, unless he wants to. We are both very affectionate. I kiss and hug him 10 times more than his mom does. But my ex loves how close we are. Sometimes he comes and sits on my lap and says "Daddy, pet me" . To him, that means give him a back rub - he coined the phrase. In return, sometimes he gives me a little foot massage. He does a great job.

I don't want to mess with his head, but I wonder if I should tell him never to tell anyone about how close we are! Then that could get misconstrued.

Oh Christine, maybe I will just forget this whole thing. I will go nuts thinking about this. I would kill anyone getting in between my kid and me.

[AliciaWeb]

It's so sad that men are assumed to be guilty with no chance of proving innocence. i still feel a vestigial twinge when hugging my children in public, my son is 33 and my daughter 30 - crazy world.

[tamarav]

In the past I have spent so much time on the toilet that my legs fell asleep waiting for all the women to leave the restroom.

Now, I just open the door of th estall, pop out, smile at any woman or teen that you meet, wash my hands, check my hair and go. We start looking obvious when we don't appear to know what we are doing.

Act natural (not like using the men's room), take the time needed and get out.

As far as hugging your children, I still hug my 22 year old Marine in public and he hugs me back. Society does not dictate to me how to show my love for my children.

[marny]

Idon;t care if your dressed or not. IF SOMEONE IS IN DISTRESS.... you help!!!

[Hali]

what is this world coming to?