Feelings on dressing changing and becoming stronger.

[jane_cd123]

Hi,

I'm not quite sure if I can explain this very well, but I'll try. I've been into cross dressing for almost as long as I can remember. In recent years I've had to move back in with my parents and been unable to dress. I'm now moving out in the next few weeks and my mind is consumed with thoughts on being able to dress again, however, it seems my feelings about dressing have changed.

Since my teens I would say that my dressing was more about getting sexual gratification from the act of dressing. I nearly always kept my dressing to sexy undies and heels and only tried makeup and a wig on a couple of occassions.

At the age of 36 now I've recently been thinking more and more about how it would be nice to spend more time dressed as a woman. I've been planning out how I can dress almost full time when at home in my new place. I've started taking much more interest in fashion and want to get myself lots of outfits, but not just sexy stuff. I want some nice smart clothes, sensible heels etc. (of course I still want the sexy clothes and heels to compliment this). I've also found myself doing research about full body waxing and am tempted to make an appointment for one, looking at getting my nails done and I'm also looking to find someone who gives makeup lessons etc.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that it seems to me like I'm changing the reasons for why I want to dress. It seems to have moved on from being almost purely sexual in nature and as such quite limiting, to something that is no longer related to sexual feelings. On the few occassions I've been able to dress recently, I've found that I've just gained a feeling of happyness from being dressed without the need to neccessarily turn it into a sexual thing. I'm finding that I want to go as far as possible in becoming a woman when dressing rather than just wearing undies. I'm also finding that I want to go out while dressed as a woman and am looking at various clubs and meeting places in the UK where I might be able to do this safely. This is all stuff I would never have thought about years ago.

I'm finding these feelings a bit frightening and somewhat exciting at the same time. I'll admit that in my more silly moments I've been crying a fair bit with feelings of guilt about why I feel this way :cry:, I think that I need to explore this side of me, but at the same time I'm afraid where it might lead. I just wondered if this is common among other crossdressers ? Have any of you lovely girls found that as you became more experienced in life, that you started feeling the need to become more female in your dressing ?

Anyway, sorry to have waffled on for so long, hugs, Jane.

[Linda C]

Good for you - I found the same feelings as i got a little older. It's kind of strange but you just can't turn off the brain/mind. I say go with it and do what makes you happy - Good luck - Linda

[Cassia-Marie]

Same here. I started dressing again after a 10-year break and my desires and reasons for dressing changed in the same way. I've read posts by others here that are almost identical. So, you're not alone with these feelings. I agree that it's scary but try as best you can to accept whatever positive feelings you have about yourself and enjoy your life. We only get one opportunity at it, after all.

[Eve_WA]

I was much the same as you. I dressed for years, mainly in sexy underwear and stockings, purely for the sexual turn on. But as I matured, I no longer found that to be the case. I get a sense of completeness and inner happiness when I dress that I do not get any other time. I rarely get aroused when dressing anymore. The biggest transformational event, was when a TG friend of mine took me out shopping for the first time, got me set up with street clothes, makeup, and some knowledge on how to apply. That single event has forever changed me! Prior, I had never been out. Was SURE that I could never dress in a convincing way, and that everyone would be hostile to me. What I discovered is life couldnt be further from the truth! I found with the right products and practice, I could fairly convincingly transform my face. I found, with the right clothes, and accessories, I could present myself fairly well, and look pretty convincing. I also discovered that even though Im not 100% and close inspection reveals my true nature, most people dont care. As long as your pleasant, kind, and respectful, 99% of the people out there do the same. And in todays climate, they are just happy that you are in their store, purchasing things.

In the 8 months Ive been here, Ive learned a great many things. The first and foremost to take away from this is, that although we all started and progressed differently, and at different rates, we are in many ways the same. Depending on your background, and family belief systems, there can be more or less of a quilt component associated, when we are first exploring. This is natural, and to be expected, and goes away. But dont let it keep you from doing what you feel is right or necessary.

So welcome, read up! Theres tons of great information to be gleaned from these pages. And anything that is not, can be brought forth as a question. Youll discoveer after doing some reading that you are not so alone, and that although the path can be a rocky one, the rewards are immense!

Eve

[JulieC]

Jane, it's entirely natural for your crossdressing to evolve this way. Face it, when we're young males, a curvacious cactus can turn us on :) But true crossdressing goes much deeper than physical gratification. As you get older, so your mind matures as well. The underlying reasons you crossdress become more apparent, and the gratification element becomes less apparent.

This is normal, and natural. There's nothing 'wrong' with it. As others noted, this is your life. You only get one shot. Explore yourself. Yes, it might be scary. But, do you want to be 70, 80, 90 years old and wonder "What if?"

[Lorileah]

Youth is wasted on the young. I am all for growing younger instead of older so we can enjoy things we put off.

I think in most cases the "urge" gets stronger as we get older. Maybe not so much the urge as the need. Take it from an old queen, there is no day like today. Have fun, wear what makes you happy (at least in your new home ;))

[Want to be Lisa]

Jane, I know exactly how you feel. I am pretty much at that same place right now.

Wanted to add that I'm getting some great advice about it in here too.

[Sally24]

I mostly thought about dressing most of my life. Around age 50 I actually started some serious work on getting a "look". Before long I found out that dressing and looking like a woman was far different than fantasising about it. Ages 40 and 50 seem to be big pivotal times where things change for us.

You might want to explore things with a gender counselor so you have a better feel where you might be going. I did and she confirmed what I thought I knew about myself. Good to have it confirmed by a professional. They can also help you set some priorities and boundaries so you don't neglect the rest of your life for this one part. Balance in your life is very important.

Good luck!

[charlie]

Hello Jane!
I'm 59 and have been dressing on and off since I was 12. Until last year all my dressing ended in sexual gratification. Then came the makeup, interest in styles and a wig. I gradually stopped wearing the mini skirts and started wearing outfits, full makeup and heels that matched the color of my dress. From there I started going out and about. Now I try to act, walk, talk and look like the woman that I want to be. I am a female self instead of just a woman in the mirror getting my male self hot.

[jane_cd123]

Thanks for all the replies, very helpful and insightful. This is why I think this site is so great. I've been registered for a while but hardly ever posted, but even so I have learned so much from people on here and have so much more to learn. I hope you girls, and those who run the site, realise how helpful you all are, especially for the quiet types like me.

I think that some of you are quite right in basically saying I need to try and enjoy this as you only get one life, and I'm going to do my best to try and just enjoy this no matter how far I take it. Maybe I need to work on self acceptance or something, I think I have very low self estem even in guy mode, never mind when dressed. Maybe I should consider at least having a quick chat with a counselor, although the very thought terrifies me.

Well, thanks again :)

[dianarg]

With me it was the same (and still partially is). The desire to dress evolved from physical gratification to a desire to feel more feminine. I think in the beginning our mind is trying to break our psychological barrier, help us accept what we are. Eventually we accept it to one degree or another and the urges lessen in intensity but not in scope. Maybe because we were born male and it's not socially acceptable to dress and look like a girl, we go through a turbo-charged puberty, something a girl normally experiences slowly until she develops her personality.

[Maria1963]

Hi Jane

I too am at an age where I nam taking dressing much more seriously. Suppose after many tries at giving it up I've realised it's here to stay and what a big part it isa going to be in the rest of my life. Maria from Croydon UK

[sandra-leigh]

I guess what I'm trying to say is that it seems to me like I'm changing the reasons for why I want to dress. It seems to have moved on from being almost purely sexual in nature and as such quite limiting, to something that is no longer related to sexual feelings. On the few occassions I've been able to dress recently, I've found that I've just gained a feeling of happyness from being dressed without the need to neccessarily turn it into a sexual thing.

In some random post, I described what it is like for me these days:

- some days, the fantasy of going out Dressed, the anticipation of it, leads to physical "excitement". I'm not necessarily wearing much of anything at these times (other than perhaps panties, and I'm not thinking of those as the events happen.)

- but when I actually go out Dressed or gender-bending, I'm just enjoying doing so, not getting excited about it and not obsessing on the experience or on my "secret". The actual dressing is relaxing and (if I haven't chosen something too far outside my comfort range or too attention getting), feels comfortable and natural.

- though to be completely honest, there are still some times when I'm trying on new clothes and I glance down and realize that "it" is standing at attention -- cases where I haven't been "feeling horny" or consciously thinking about sex, but my body has reacted. This reaction makes some sense, in a way: when you see the prospective clothes on the hanger or on display, you are picturing what they would look like on you, whether they match your skin tones, whether they would flatter your figure, whether they will be too short and expose your "beer belly", whether other people will think they look good on you and compliment you on them. So when you are trying on clothes, there is actually an element of fantasy involved in choosing them, and if one reacts to the fantasy then "it" may wake up.