Deidra Heads To The Mall

[Deidra Cowen]

A buisness trip to a neighboring state was the perfect excuse to try going out en femme to a shopping mall this week. I packed up some of my cloths...and following advise I got here on the forums I even got a cooler so my makeup would not melt in the car while I was traveling. I was excited all day thinking about my femmy adventure that was coming up.

Checked into my hotel around 5pm and immediately started dressing. I had some setbacks. I forgot my blush! Also my nail polish had leaked and was all over my brush. I got around those problems for example used pink eye shadow for blush (actually worked pretty good) and my guy comb for my wig. I was going for a everyday fem casual look...but that did not work out. I had not worn my girlie jeans in several weeks. I put them on and due to my diet and gym program they were too big! Switched to a skirt which was better for nightclubbing rather than shopping at the mall.

Headed out to the car and drove to the mall. I parked without incident and got my courage up. Everytime I do something new I get butterflies in my stomach, this time was no different. I headed in and joined the crowd inside. I just walked along concentrating on my femmy walk. Did pretty good and no one seemed to be noticing me. But then trouble hit! A lady that obviously worked at one of the stores was standing outside that store and greeted me. I blew it...I did the 'male' nod to her and kept on walking. She knew!

I sat at a bench to gather up my composure and then went walking again. Out of the three wings of the mall I covered two. No one seemed to clock me except for a teenager girl who smiled mischeviously at me. I was nervous again and when I get nervous I feel myself losing my femmy walk and mannerisms. I decided discretion was the better part of valor and headed outta the mall!

At the doorway three young guys were coming in as I was leaving. I avoided eye contact with them and kept on going. About 50 feet beyond the doors I heard one of them whistle at me. Did he know I was a CD? or did I look sexy? (I was dressed up too well for shopping...lol...who knows)

I was mad at myself in the car, I felt like I had come up short on my objectives due to being a chicken! Down the street I saw a drug store...I headed there and went in. I bought fake nails and a hair brush. I passed several women in the aisles and i did the fem greeting thing. (you know..you make eye contact and smile at each other...that was a kick...had read about it and finally did it.) Walgreens also has these big mirrors kinda high up on the wall where you can see yourself. I looked up and saw my reflection and thought I was doing pretty good. It was esp a relief to see my walk and mannerisms and practise just a bit while checking my reflection. Feeling better I checked out and had bought my first stuff dressed as a woman!

I made one more shopping stop at a stand alone TJ Maxx. I browsed but they seemed to stop at size 15. I'm a 16! I almost bought some jeans but the dressing rooms were busy and I was not sure how to do that deal. Lots of people were in there but again no one directly seemed to notice me. I finally grabbed a belt that was pretty cheap and checked out. When the girl asked was that all? I quietly mumbled hmm hmm. She checked me out and off I went!

I then drove around that city for a couple of hrs...I love driving as a fem! Stopped for a diet coke at a Wendys Drive Thru and got back to my Hotel without incident. Did not get the jeans or skirt I wanted...but now I think I have the confidence to shop here in ATL in femme. No more drab shopping!

Sorry for how long this is...I just kinda enjoy recording my thoughts and sharing this.

Deidra

[Natalie x]

Deidra, darlin', isn't it a buz! Don't apologise for a long post, it was great to read it. You've done what I hope to do next, and given me the courage to take that big step. Oh wow, I love this life and all you beautiful gals!

[cindybarnes]

Deidra,, WOW !!!! That had to be such a great feeling to just get out and enjoy being a girl !!!! Your story here hopefuly will inspire someone else to make that first step ! For a (new girl) your moving right along *S*
I can imagine your pulse rate had to be a little high too :) I know mine was when I went on my first & only daytime shopping trip, and I just browsed at a couple stores.
Everyone says it gets easier as your confidance builds too, so hope to hear more about your outings !!
Cindy !!

[JoAnnDallas]

Thats a Great post Deitra. I bet you had a ball. I am starting to venture outside and getting my nerve up to go get gasoline in femme and in the daylight. You know what the rush feels like. Grads on you outstanding outing.

[Lauren Richards]

Deidra,
What a great story! Don't apologize for letting us know what a wonderful time you had, in wonderful detail. Walking thur a mall is quite an adventure, and from your pictures, I wouldn't be too worried about being seen as anything but a tall woman out shopping. Practice, ease of mannerisms, dressing appropriately, all the important stuff gets you the ticket to go anywhere you want. I have found that most folks are less interested in us than in their own conversations, or focusing on where they are going. Don't be too mad at yourself for leaving the mall when you did. It all worked out, since you went into two stores you may not have otherwise. Listening to those instincts, or "feminine intuition" as it were, keeps us safe, and ready for more. Just gotta tell you what a pleasure it was to read your post, and to imagine how it was for you to be out and about. Fabulous!

Lauren

[Michelle I]

Deidra:

Great post and even better great adventure. I only have one question you said "A lady that obviously worked at one of the stores was standing outside that store and greeted me. I blew it...I did the 'male' nod to her and kept on walking. She knew! " what did you mean by the male nod? What should you have done to keep her from knowing? I need to know to make sure I am not doing the same thing.

Melissa

[womanatheart]

Dear Deidra,
Thanks for the thread. I read and felt every word.
Fem Walk: I have not seen a thread on the "Fem Walk". I was talking to one of the other girls yesterday about the importance of not only the look but having the fem walk. A swagger in the hips. Quite unnatural for a male - but natural for a fem. It is still a conscience state with me at the moment. Maybe it will become unconscience with time!!??
Woman greeter in store: I hate stores that have agressive sales people because I have to respond and give a high pitched "no thank you" or mumble "no thanks" and slink away (very unfem)- which gives me away. I love stores that have lazy salespeople with great selection and sizes and unguarded dressing rooms.
Teenagers: Last weekend I ventured into a mall where I entered and went directly to the womans rest room to check myself out (and pee! I have to pee all the time while efem - just like a wife!! is it the clothes???. or gin and tonics? The womans room was located near the shoe section and 3 teenage boys were ensconced in the shoe section chairs infront of the bathrooms. As I came out of the womans restroom - I heard one say -"Is that a woman?" I was devastated and told myself to exit the mall immediately. (I tried to console myself with the logic - at least he didnt say -"Is that a man?")
Mad at self in car: How many times have I returned to my car as a coward?- all dressed up and back in my car and mad at myself! Good you returned to a store and didnt go back to the hotel. You have grit girl!
Different Malls: From my experience- I notice different malls are more comforatable for me efem. Northside Mall (right name?) near Alpharetta was very comfortable for me; not too crowded and majority of chic GG clients to mingle with and plenty of shops/resturants to visit. Gwinette mall was not as nice: crowded, narrow walk ways, fewer GG clients. The new Mall of Ga was OK but not my favorite- walk ways very wide and weekday crowd sparse and unable to mingle. :)
Deidra - I enjoyed your post. Thank you. :o
Love,
Stephanie

[Stephanie Brooks]

Wow Deidra, Congratulations!!!!! It sounds as if you had a great success overall. How you handled your setbacks was excellent. Those could have been excuses for not going out, but instead you found workarounds. Very cool!

You should be proud of what you did, and you should be pleased with yourself. It's difficult going out en femme, trying to be safe, trying to pass, and trying to just be yourself. You did it, Lady!

Congratulations!!! ^_^

[Deidra Cowen]

Thanks for the kind comments girls. I honestly thought my post was probably too self absorbed and its a relief to see that others enjoyed it and got something from it.


Deidra:

Great post and even better great adventure. I only have one question you said "A lady that obviously worked at one of the stores was standing outside that store and greeted me. I blew it...I did the 'male' nod to her and kept on walking. She knew! " what did you mean by the male nod? What should you have done to keep her from knowing? I need to know to make sure I am not doing the same thing.

Melissa

Melissa...its hard to put my finger directly on it. But to me and especially down here in the south if someone that is not a freind or relative greets you..commanly as a guy you just nod your head once at them. You just incline your head up a bit and come back down. You are acknowledging them...but not being overly warm. Thats the best I can explain it. Only guys do it.

Gawd I'd love a book on fem/male mannerisms!!! As a fem I should have looked her in the eye, smiled, either verbally said hi or done a none verbal greeting like wave my hand. I did not write about this cause my post was already going too long. But a sales girl at TG Maxx asked me if i needed help. She was one row over and really not too interested in me. I looked at her, smiled, made a funny kinda smily face, shrugged my shoulders and nodded a 'no'. That all sounds complicated and drawn out....but It happened in a split second and it worked! I was proud of it.


Fem Walk: I have not seen a thread on the "Fem Walk". I was talking to one of the other girls yesterday about the importance of not only the look but having the fem walk. A swagger in the hips. Quite unnatural for a male - but natural for a fem. It is still a conscience state with me at the moment. Maybe it will become unconscience with time!!??

Womanatheart, the walk is becoming unconsience with me except at times of stress!!! I loose it then. This simple little web page is where I learned about the femmy walk. I read this page often...and practise all the time at home in front of a full lenght mirror. Here is the link to the site...btw there is more good stuff at that site:

http://www.tgtoday.com/newtopframeset.html

EDIT: I can't get a direct url to the page due to the way she has her site setup. Just click on 'How to Crossdress' then about half way down one of the options is the femmy walk.

Thanks again girls! This has me thinking we ought get a thread going on fem mannerisms and behavior...perhaps share tips and best practises. For all the stuff that is out there on the web, remarkably little of it is aimed at this area. Its easy to find hundreds of crazy sex pics revolving around CDs. But you are lucky to find 2 or 3 things on how a CD should walk on the whole net for example.

I'll think on how that thread should be done and try to start one this weekend. Maybe some of you will have ideas about that...let me know.

Thanks again for the nice comments!

[Ava Mouse]

Deidra!

Congratulations! What courage! But believe me, you'll be out there again soon! LOL.. :D

Don't worry about being read, most people will still treat you nice. Some will let you know that they know, but don't get discouraged, insist on being treated as a lady and you WILL be treated as a lady, it's easy for women to do that. Be friendly and polite, don't worry about the voice, you're already read, just buy something, and chat. If you're REALLY LUCKY, you can hint that you're having fun and they'll make the experience more fun for you.

My sense is that they WANT YOU TO HAVE FUN!!! If you let them know that you're just doing it for the thrill of it, they'll play along. Take advantage of this.

Personally, who cares if you're read. Hey, I'm read all the time, but you know what?! SO WHAT!!! If we CD's can go out and experience the femme point of view without hassle, that's the best we can hope for, and the best we will experience.

Anyway, that confidence will come with time and experience. It'll help you 'pass' more, and the more confidence you have, the more people will play along and you'll have a good time.

I think that people will want to play along, it's fun for them, too! If you're nervous, they'll pick up on that and not know what to do. If you interact with them, they'll be more curious and play along to learn about you...

I hope that blob of text makes sense...

Anyway, congrats! oh, and go do it again!!!!

PS. wish I had a book on femme psyche, too. Especially for the bathroom...

-Ava

[Deidra Cowen]

Yes Ava it made a lot of sense! Worry less about passing and just having fun...and you will probably end up passing better anyway. :thumbsup:

Thanks!!!...by the way I admire you and all the stuff you have done.

[Fallen Angel]

wow girl thats great,clubing at night shopping during the day!!!!!!!!! it does seem a bit awkward at first but as you step out more you get the feeling of confidance! and your one of the few here that are a true go getter all i can say is enjoy,xxxxxxxxxxx

[Holly]

Deidra, what a cool adventure you had! I could sense your confidence building as I read your post. Keep it up, girl. You've just opened up a whole new experience!

[paulaN]

that's great deidra. sounds like you are on the right track. It's so much fun but scarry at the same time. I have not done anything like that in a long time, I hope to get out there again. ava's comment is good advice for all us girls. but not so easy to do when alone. thanks for the post I enjoyed hearing about your adventure.

[Marla GG]

Deidra, woo hoo! Thanks so much for telling us everything in such detail. I love reading posts where the poster describes not only an experience and what they did, but how they felt about it. That's more like how a gg would tell the story :)

When I read the part about the "male nod," I had to stop and ask myself, "now, what do I do when greeted by one of those people or when I encounter another woman while shopping?" I thought to myself that I would make brief eye contact and smile, and keep walking. Then later in your post you said that in Walgreens you "passed several women in the aisles and did the fem greeting thing. (you know..you make eye contact and smile at each other...that was a kick...had read about it and finally did it)." I thought, good going Deidra! You know exactly what to do :D

Sounds like it was a very confidence-building trip for you. Congratulations, and I'll look forward to reading all about the next one. I was especially interested in your mall adventure because Angel and I are planning a similar trip to the mall as our first real outing with him en femme. You are a great role model.

Oh, and about TJ Maxx--is it possible you were looking in the juniors' section? I'm only asking because I know from shopping there that TJ Maxx carries misses sizes up to 18 (even numbered sizes), plus sizes from 16W on up, and juniors from 0-15 (odd numbered sizes). Not to mention petites. Sometimes it can be confusng as to which department/section you're in.

[Wendy me]

way cool Deidra sounds like you hade a greate time out looking forward to hearing abought more trips .....

[Lauren Richards]

Deidra,
I've been wondering if you have had any further thoughts about how it was at the register buying things. When I bought my first things (at a supermarket) I know the checker had me as a cross dresser, but she didn't seem to care, and I didn't care if she knew. The interaction with people is at a whole different level from walking around, and it sounds like you will be doing more. Fantastic. Looking forward reading your next post. And don't spare any details, girlfriend!

Lauren

[Sherlyn]

Deidra ...im sooo jealous of you ..despite the lows of your trip it seems it ended up being a great high .... just ta walk in and buy something omg .. i just cant imagine WOW !!!!!!!! way to go