Tells (can you be read at the table?)

[Lorileah]

Probably been done on the boards before and we have all heard them, but what have you heard are the"tells" that let the world know we are not really women? On another post recently was the leg wrap where your ankles twist around each other. Of course some of us can do that but what have you heard are "sure fire ways" to tell a crossdresser (you can tell a crossdresser but you can't tell them much) :)

And to add fun, give an example of a GG (preferably someone we all might know) who has that characteristic

[Rebecca Sue]

I've noticed that when walking men tend to move their arms from the shoulders while women move their arms from the elbow. I think moving your arms from the shoulder is a dead giveaway that you are a crossdresser.

[TGMarla]

With me, it's probably my face and my hands.

I have a guy face, and guy hands. You should see what my hands look like next to my wife's. She has these slender, small, and feminine hands. I have vice grips. I know these aren't mannerisms, but it's true, nonetheless. And the way I hold my hands....it just seems masculine to me. I look at some of the pics I take, and I look like I'm flexing my deltoids, and holding my arms in a gorilla-like way. And this is unintentional, of course. But I think it's likely that I really lack a whole lot of female mannerisms. Unless I was really careful, I'd give myself away pretty quickly.

[tamarav]

Sitting at a table I think some of the "tells" are pretty common. Like a loud booming male voice, yelling across the room, (yes, I was there..), or sitting in a skirt with legs really wide open.
Others could include gulping down a beer, fast clunky movements, eating like a linebacker, (could include one of my GG sisters however) or wiping your face with a napkin rather than dabbing at the mouth. Again, how a person was raised may impact some of these "tells"..

[renee k]

Sitting at a table I think some of the "tells" are pretty common. Like a loud booming male voice, yelling across the room, (yes, I was there..), or sitting in a skirt with legs really wide open.
Others could include gulping down a beer, fast clunky movements, eating like a linebacker, (could include one of my GG sisters however) or wiping your face with a napkin rather than dabbing at the mouth. Again, how a person was raised may impact some of these "tells"..
:iagree:

I couldn't agree more! table manners are where we sadly let ourselves down. The couple things that make me cringe. Talking with food in your mouth, chewing with your mouth open. Or elbows on the table. Not to mention belching. I've been out to eat with other girls who exhibited these wonderful gestures.

Huggs, Renee

[joann07]

Sitting at a table I think some of the "tells" are pretty common. Like a loud booming male voice, yelling across the room, (yes, I was there..), or sitting in a skirt with legs really wide open.
Others could include gulping down a beer, fast clunky movements, eating like a linebacker, (could include one of my GG sisters however) or wiping your face with a napkin rather than dabbing at the mouth. Again, how a person was raised may impact some of these "tells"..
:iagree:

I could agree more! table manners are where we sadly let ourselves down. The couple things that make me cringe. Talking with food in your mouth, chewing with your mouth open. Or elbows on the table. Not to mention belching. I've been out to eat with other girls who exhibited these wonderful gestures.

Huggs, Renee


I definitely agree with Tamarav and Renee.
Other things I'd like add are how women eat their food. When eating they don't do what they call, goose necking. They sit straight up and bring the food to their mouth. They don't eat fast and chew their food. Also, when eating bread, they don't eat it whole. They break off parts and eat it piece by piece.

When drinking from a glass, they they hold it with their finger tips in contrast to a guy who usually wraps his whlole hand around it.
When drinking from a bottle, they drink with their lips and take sips whereas guys wrap their mouth and take gulps.

Those are just some of my observations.

Hugs!

[Paulette]

Having just attended the TGSF Cotillion where I met Tamarav (FYI she looks better in person and is such s sweet soul) I think I saw some of the same table manners on my side of the room. There is nothing easier to ruin a nice time than for one of the "ladies" to behave like a truck driver while wearing a dress. When I go out I am trying to blend and such work very hard to adopt all forms of mannerisms in keeping with the way I am presenting.

[Persephone]

Failure to acknowledge another woman.

Whenever women make initial eye contact with each other they smile. Strangers passing in the mall, if they make eye contact, smile at each other. Not a big smile, just a little acknowledgement.

Women talk to each other, including total strangers. So if you are out and about, be prepared for another woman to say, "Nice dress" or something like that.

Or you're washing your hands in the lady's room (not exactly a venue where men expect complete strangers to speak to them) and the woman next to you says, "Cute earrings!"

You have to acknowlege her comment. Generally, the accepted response is to turn towards her, make eye contact, smile, say "Thanks," and tell her where you got the item, i.e., "Thanks, I got it in Bloomies," or "Thanks, I've had it a really long time, I don't even remember where I got it," or, in the case of jewelry, you can even go for "Thanks, my husband got them for me" (With that last one you throw in an extra conspiratorial smile).

If you are really polite you'll say something nice back to her, but will try to avoid sounding like you just made it up to return the compliment, so maybe something like "And I'd been noticing your earrings! They're really nice too!"

Now you can finish drying your hands or checking your hair or makeup and head for the door.

[Tamara Croft]

Sitting at a table I think some of the "tells" are pretty common. Like a loud booming male voice, yelling across the room, (yes, I was there..), or sitting in a skirt with legs really wide open.
Others could include gulping down a beer, fast clunky movements, eating like a linebacker, (could include one of my GG sisters however) or wiping your face with a napkin rather than dabbing at the mouth. Again, how a person was raised may impact some of these "tells"..I know a lot of GG's that do that :heehee: they could learn a few things from CD's that know how to be a lady :lol:

[Kate Simmons]

It's called "natural selection" I think. Darwin is probably turning over in his grave with this one.:heehee:

[Jeanne Hamilton]

Hands! Their size is not easily disguised, and they can give away an otherwise perfect makeover.

[Lilith Moon]

Things I've noticed many of us doing after a couple of drinks... Sitting with legs wide apart when wearing short skirts, at the same time positioning our arms to occupy as much space as possible. :eek: Bellowing and laughing across a room with deep voices. :eek: Eating food like monkeys. :eek: Walking bow-legged in 6 inch heels. :eek:

Sorry, but that's how it is for many of us.

[2b.Lauren]

Failure to acknowledge another woman.

Whenever women make initial eye contact with each other they smile. Strangers passing in the mall, if they make eye contact, smile at each other. Not a big smile, just a little acknowledgement.

As a lover of human nature and someone that has studied psychology intensely, I love the whole Social Norms things. I love to break the norms or rules as often as I can, but also notice how this is done so as not to harm or make someone fearful. If it is dark out and I am walking down the street and a lady is alone I won't engage eye contact with her because human nature will cause them to speak to you if you make eye contact and that can be very uncomfortable when alone. For fun when I get in an elevator as others get off, I refuse to move and take the next position to see what will happen. It can unnerve people. I only quoted a portion of Persephone's post but all of it applies to our many differences. The eating part is really most obvious and one that I have started to diligently work on.

[Ellen Ross]

I agree with all of these. The "acknowledge another woman" thing was something that caught me off guard. At first I thought I looked wrong, bad, like a man in a dress. But then I realized that it wasn't me, but it was something women do that I hadn't noticed.

Is there a list published somewhere, like "101 traits of a woman that a crossdresser should know"?

Ellen

[Angel.Marie76]

Is there a list published somewhere, like "101 traits of a woman that a crossdresser should know"?

Ellen

Oh YES it would be wonderful to have access to a cheatsheet like that. ;)

Other things too would be the silence-shattering sneeze. My goodness it seems like some GGs I know squeak when they sneeze instead of letting it go. I swear the back of their heads are going to blow off one of these days. I've been trying to control them a little bit more at a time, but my goodness it is sure hard. :confused2:

[CharleneT]

Drink most drinks thru a straw.... do not barge into a room or past a person, wait for the man behind you to go first. Depending on circumstances, let a man open the door if he moves toward it. Look down at first, slightly, when a man looks at you, unless you are trying to attract him. Stand with your feet together, or close together while waiting. Walk gently and do not try and use your whole "stride", take smaller steps

[Persephone]

Other things too would be the silence-shattering sneeze. My goodness it seems like some GGs I know squeak when they sneeze instead of letting it go. I swear the back of their heads are going to blow off one of these days. I've been trying to control them a little bit more at a time, but my goodness it is sure hard. :confused2:

'S funny, I have a totally feminine sneeze but my spouse just explodes! On the other hand, I can't quietly blow my nose, I sound like a foghorn -- seriously.

Of course, you can't really blow your nose anyway when wearing makeup.

[TommiTN]

I have an atomic sneeze, usually sounds like I'm saying "AW SH*T!" I can control the sh*t part somewhat, but the "aw" has a mind of it's own. It's totally embarrasing when en femme.:doh:

[Persephone]

Always take care of your clothes!

How many guys, if there are no paper towels in the restroom will wipe their hands on their jeans (or their shirt)?

How many guys won't think they need to change before adding oil to the car or climbing up on the roof to check the air conditioner or to "just touchup" the trim paint around the doorframe?

How many will throw their clothes in a heap somewhere? Or just leave them on the floor?

[kathrynjanos]

Sitting at a table I think some of the "tells" are pretty common. Like a loud booming male voice, yelling across the room, (yes, I was there..), or sitting in a skirt with legs really wide open.
Others could include gulping down a beer, fast clunky movements, eating like a linebacker, (could include one of my GG sisters however) or wiping your face with a napkin rather than dabbing at the mouth. Again, how a person was raised may impact some of these "tells"..

Fortunately for me, I overthink, so sitting wide open legged especially in a skirt or dress would never happen to me. Still, I cross my legs the wrong way so that would be a problem. I have some intelligence, so I rarely get my voice booming unless I'm having an argument where I'm trying to look all big bad and scary - something I often fail at.

I never thought about the napkin - good call. :thumbsup:

[Kelli Michelle]

I agree with a lot that has been written.

Slouching, like a lot of guys do, is a "tell". If you have guy hands like I do, it helps to have on rings, bracelets, etc. Of course, unclean nails, etc. don't help. Fixing one's makeup after drinking or eating is a must. Nothing worse than sitting there with no lipstick. I went to a restaurant with 3 gentleman friends once, and one took a picture of us. OMG, my lipstick was gone and I looked way to mannish, "It's a man, baaaby....".
:D

Since your upper body is usually on display (and if you have guy shoulders), try to minimize them either by what you are wearing or by pulling them down as you sit straight (no pun intended, lol). Hand movements are sometimes a tell as well. Guys move their hands in a more masculine way, obviously. Females tend to use their hands a lot, but differently, so pay attention to that too.

Doggone it, this is worse than trying to remember everything you need to do to hit a golf ball!!!!!!:tongueout

[rachellegsep]

Something Ive noticed when smoking a GG holds the ciggy between the tips of the fingers & the 1st joint, sometimes with the thumb touching the end of the filter. the angle of the ciggy varies between vertical to 45 deg. Men hold it further down the fingers, usually from the 1st joint to the 2nd joint with the ciggy horizontal. the inhale is also different.
When knocking off the ash GG's hold the ciggy at the end of the filter between the thumb & 2nd finger and use the index finger along the length to tap. Men hold it between the index & 2nd fingers and use a flick of the thumb across the end of the ciggy. This is not always the case especially with the younger generation :2c: