Stress and Cross-dressing [Archive] - Crossdressers.com - #1 Community & Forum for Crossdressers, Family and Friends

unwritten2108

02-11-2009, 08:22 PM

So I had another makeover last weekend...first time Cyndi came out in 11 months! And while I had a lot of fun and all, as I was driving back I had this feeling of rejuvenation. Like all the stress that's been building over the last couple of months has just went away and now I'm ready to face the world with a very positive attitude.

Now I've been told by friends that maybe I do dress to blow off some steam. That it gives me a chance to step away for a while and focus on something else aka being Cyndi.

What's more I told this story to my counselor on Monday and she basically agreed that maybe I dressing does allow me to rid myself of stress when it builds up too much and ther was nothing wrong with that. Kinda through me for a loop!

But as I analyzed it myself, during the summer when I wasn't stressed, I didn't have much desire or urge to dress again, which lead me to think that maybe me exploring this new side of myself was over. But as school started again and I got stressed with everything going on, I started to feel that urge coming back. And now that I've done it again, it feels like my stress is gone. So I'm wondering now if this is going to be a pattern.

So my question to you is am I not alone? When you dress do you also get a feeling like all your troubles have just gone away and you can focus a little better on life?

happy2cd

02-11-2009, 08:28 PM

You are not alone. I find that dressing helps purge the stress. I also find that browsing a catalog can help too. Or walking through a store and just looking/touching the clothes and thinking about them, can be a release too.

Denise01

02-11-2009, 08:37 PM

I too find that when i am Denise, i am more comfortable and way less stressed.

When i go on Vacation as Denise 24/7 usually for a month, I find that i am way more relaxed when i return home and able to get back to the daily routine more easily

Denise

:):):)

Rebecca Sue

02-11-2009, 08:50 PM

I think that dressing allows the dresser to step outside of the false sense of self created by the world-at-large and that the dressing "session" can be liberating to the point of being a spiritual experience.

danielle_from_cal

02-11-2009, 09:22 PM

Dressing certainly helps me get through stressful times. It is often a complete escape from the "real" world. But many times I dress when I have little or no stress. I just makes me feel better.

nina1947

02-11-2009, 09:24 PM

Sometimes over analyzing isn't worth it. You had a wonderful time and it reduced your stress, sounds, great, Nina

Lorileah

02-11-2009, 09:55 PM

Lori definitely gets stronger with stress. I went years only dressing totally two or three times a year. Now i want to dress all the time. Maybe it is because I feel that as a female I will be protected more from the harsh reality of the times. I always feel freer when i am dressed and especially when i attract attention.

unwritten2108

02-11-2009, 10:20 PM

Sometimes over analyzing isn't worth it. You had a wonderful time and it reduced your stress, sounds, great, Nina

If only I could stop over-analyzing, Nina. Bad habit on my part...:o

Audrey34

02-11-2009, 10:28 PM

I'm the same way. When I'm stressed I sometimes dress up. Unfortunately when I'm extremely worried I can't even get the urge to dress!
-Audrey

trannie T

02-11-2009, 10:35 PM

I go out dressed when I can, most of my outings are planned well in advance witn no regard of my stress level. I do not feel more relaxed when I am en femme but do have a feeling of being complete.

Maia C

02-11-2009, 11:24 PM

I'm more relaxed when dressed. Someone once told me that resisting the urge to dress - even unconsciously - only adds to the stress. When things pile up in life some of that stress needs to be released. And the pile is more like a mountain these days...lol.

Maia

unwritten2108

02-11-2009, 11:46 PM

Yeah this build up for me began back in September, but it was faint. I just started to think about it in a vague sense. But as the year ended I was thinking about it more and more as my stress lingered. And by that point I had to do something, so I made that decision to dress again. And turns out it was the right one.

Shannen

02-12-2009, 12:19 AM

If only I could stop over-analyzing, Nina. Bad habit on my part...:o

Well... as long as we are over-analyzing....

I think there are 2 reasons it relieves stress for me.

1) The classic "female" role playing removes me from being "in charge" and having to make all the decisions.

Don't get mad at me for saying it.... I'm not saying that women are weak or anything!

I just really "dislike" it when every decision is left to me! After spending 8 hours at work solving problems, I don't appreciate having to make every decision within 5 minutes of getting home! I know there are many reasons the decisions are left to me, one probably being that she wants me to choose what I would enjoy for dinner for example... but wouldn't it be nice to be in that role of not having to make the decisions???

So I "escape" from my "reality" by becoming another person, but I don't choose to impersonate another male... I choose the female because the feminine qualities appeal to me! I don't want to go out and be a tough guy, I want to go out and be a woman who is soft, pretty, ...something to be "protected" from the harsh world.

..am I digging a hole here?

2) I'm convinced there is a chemical aspect. Endorphines... even the adreniline rush has physical impact. Heck, it's not the same as that first drag on a red, but the end result is pretty close! It would be interesting to take my blood pressure and pulse while dressed to see if there is a change...

:hugs:

MissConstrued

02-12-2009, 02:33 AM

So I "escape" from my "reality" by becoming another person, but I don't choose to impersonate another male... I choose the female because the feminine qualities appeal to me! I don't want to go out and be a tough guy, I want to go out and be a woman who is soft, pretty, ...something to be "protected" from the harsh world.

..am I digging a hole here?

I'm totally with you there. Sometimes being an extreme male gets to me. But as long as I get some girl time in, it's all good.

Insert Asian/Buddhist philosophy, Yin-Yang, balance, light & dark side of The Force, yadda yadda.

Tasha McIntyre

02-12-2009, 07:42 AM

Definately a stress relief in a big way. I don't ever venture past my front door, so I can't comment on being out and about but just being dressed in the loungeroom watching a DVD, or surfing the net is a wonderful experience. The feeling of well being and serenity from being dressed is enormous to me.

Cheers

Tash :)

CDPAUL

02-12-2009, 07:59 AM

I was thinking the same thing. I have had a very hectic last 5-6 days finally had a chance to dress and get out (nothing fancy) but towards the end of the evening it was like a big cloud cleared away to bad it was already time to get home before i knew it. I slept all night long got up this morning and i feel great

Kate Simmons

02-12-2009, 08:05 AM

Maybe but I think it's mostly "mind over matter." You can get the same effect from most any past time or hobby if you are really that much into it. The stress doesn't actually go away , just gets pushed to the background for awhile.:)

New Jen

02-12-2009, 09:03 AM

My CDins is almost entirely stress based. There were years when I didn't engage in it at all, didn't even think about. I had gotten to the point where I had figured it was a phase that I had gone through. Later, recently, things have not been going well for me on many fronts and it's made a resurgance.

Tashee

02-12-2009, 09:28 AM

I'm totally with you there. Sometimes being an extreme male gets to me. But as long as I get some girl time in, it's all good.

Insert Asian/Buddhist philosophy, Yin-Yang, balance, light & dark side of The Force, yadda yadda.

this 1 is me to a T.

Kathleen Ann Trees

02-12-2009, 09:40 AM

Cary

02-12-2009, 09:43 AM

Jess_cd32

02-12-2009, 09:54 AM

....... When you dress do you also get a feeling like all your troubles have just gone away and you can focus a little better on life?

Absolutely 100%!
I really believe this truley does reduce stress, the last time I dressed two days in a row my BP dropped from the 140-150 range into the 120's for the first time in a long time. I think I need to start dressing daily.

ukxdress

02-12-2009, 10:06 AM

So it seems many of us can release some stress by dressing - it works for me. So what do others (non x-dressers) do to relieve stress ? Do we use stress as a reason, or an explanation for us wanting to dress ??
Sometimes, when I'm in a really good mood, feeling very relaxed, getting dressed is the 'icing on the cake' for me...............So do both ends of the spectrum casue me to dress. Oh no it's all getting too heavy, I'm off to buy a new bra :D

Coleen........

unwritten2108

02-12-2009, 12:08 PM

Reading between the lines, and sometimes directly seeing them, it seems to be common among us that urges to dress wax and wane. Since having a "disagreement" with my wife late last year, I haven't been dressing (much). But my desire to dress (thoughts, daydreams, distracted focus) right now is pretty high. It seems once I start, for a while, I'm consumed by it. Then eventually, the urges quell.

When Cyndi came out after 11 months, did the desires continue?

Kathleen

Of course after I did it I had that feeling that I wished I was still dressed or that I went out longer since I loved how I looked, but overall I know I'll get that chance to dress again. I don't know when, and I don't really have a countdown set. Right now, I feel fulfilled and content.

Karren H

02-12-2009, 02:06 PM

Nahhh... 1) I don't get stressed out hardly ever... And B)... I just like to look pretty!! :)

Lia

02-12-2009, 02:15 PM

I've always found it to be directly correlated to stress. When things are going great, it fades away, when life starts getting tough, out it pops. The problem is at this point that I can't dress (living situation with elderly relative in our care), so it only adds to the stress.

In any case, I think it boils down to an escape from the 'you' the world has forced on you and the solace found in being what you are inside.

Joanne f

02-12-2009, 02:18 PM

I have quite often heard this said , that some do it to relieve stress and even when they have been caught will say "i was doing it because i was stressed, and from reading the post`s here it seams like that is the case for a lot of you girls.
Yet when i look at it i find that when i get stressed i do not want to dress, i only enjoy dressing when i am happy to start with .:doh:

Gabrielle Hermosa

02-12-2009, 03:10 PM

So my question to you is am I not alone? When you dress do you also get a feeling like all your troubles have just gone away and you can focus a little better on life?

Yes. Dressing up is very relaxing. When I'm fully dressed with full makeup, nails, etc. (which I don't get to do often), I feel very good about myself. I just feel good and little seems to bother me. Total de-stressing effect. I feel like I can take on the world and I really like that feeling. It's not a false sense, but rather the feeling of being me the way I'd choose to be if society wouldn't screw with my life for being that way. There's much more to it, but don't want to get too wordy on it. :)

Even when I'm not stressed, I still enjoy my femme-time. It's not just a stress reliever, it's a simple necessity and something I really enjoy. To be honest, when I go too long of a duration without any femme-time, I become very stressed - even if everything else in my life is good.

xAnne_Mariex

02-12-2009, 03:33 PM

I find it very relaxing and if i'm stressed or in a bad mood it always makes me feel better.

My mum asked me if I do it to escape things and tbh sometimes I think I do, i've not been the happiest i've ever been over the past few years and dressing up really cheers me up and makes me forget about things.

Katrina red nails

02-12-2009, 05:04 PM

So I "escape" from my "reality" by becoming another person, but I don't choose to impersonate another male... I choose the female because the feminine qualities appeal to me! :hugs:

That is true for me too but whilst escaping the lack of stress is amazing.

acdee

02-12-2009, 07:09 PM

Yes, it definitely helps release stress for me.

Tashee

02-12-2009, 08:12 PM

Nahhh... 1) I don't get stressed out hardly ever... And B)... I just like to look pretty!! :)

Girl this sick girl needs to learn from you. I must say you are so awesome and a blessing here.:daydreaming:

Maia C

02-12-2009, 10:29 PM

In any case, I think it boils down to an escape from the 'you' the world has forced on you and the solace found in being what you are inside.

Precisely....well said!:)

Julieanne

02-12-2009, 10:44 PM

Most nights when I come home I dress to some extent -- often just a bra and panties, sometimes more, but I very seldom dress up all the way with make-up, etc.

It has the same effect that I imagine a drink after work does :drink: -- it relaxes me, is comfortable, and oft times I feel a great contentment and quite peaceful :daydreaming:. Many things which have been bothering me become less important.

Julieanne

Kate's at home

02-12-2009, 11:08 PM

Maybe I've been doing this long enough that I don't think about the direct correlation between stress reduction and dressing. After work, I am tired and ready to change gears and just relax. I tend to do what my GF does. 1st a quick shower to "wash off the day" and a change into a fresh long gown or slip and long soft lounger, a sweater, and pair of comfy mj's. Just part of the ritual of being at home and "landing", be it cuddled up together in front of TV/news, listening to music or w/ a book. Weekends are much the same, at least while doing indoors chores or just relaxing. The "calming" effect is very true tho. And it has an amazing power to comfort at a very deep emotional level.

Kate

Intertwined

02-12-2009, 11:43 PM

Sometimes over analyzing isn't worth it. You had a wonderful time and it reduced your stress, sounds, great, Nina

My wife calls this Analysis Paralysis. (and yes i suffer from this dissease):doh:

1) The classic "female" role playing removes me from being "in charge" and having to make all the decisions.

2) I'm convinced there is a chemical aspect. Endorphines... even the adreniline rush has physical impact.

I agree completely Shannen.

Sure for me CDing releases stress, relaxes me.

BUT...!

My tollerance for stress and my overall attitude is directly related to how long I have gone between CDing. Even my co-workers have noticed, when I have come to work, a couple of days in a row, not clean shaven, wrinkled cloths, shoes not polished, I've been asked by a co-worker, when was the last time you were in a skirt or heels?

Oh Crap...! it just dawned on me, ive just created a new medical syndrome " CD withdrawl symtpoms " would that be C.D.W.S ?:brolleyes:

Barb123

02-13-2009, 01:02 AM

Carin

02-13-2009, 03:47 AM

When times are stressful for a prolonged period, a therapist will ask you what you are doing to take care of yourself. For those of us that lean this way, dressing is a way of taking care of ourselves. It may be escapism and hobby time focusing on something besides the stress factors. It may be relief from the compounding stress of an incongruity of our perceived gender.

Whatever it is, we need to sooth our souls, like everyone else. And what a fun way to do it!

carolinewalker_2000

02-13-2009, 04:19 AM

Dressing has to be the very best stress buster there is!

Michelia

02-13-2009, 04:22 AM

Sometimes I stay so busy I do not get out often enough. It builds up and then POW I get out in whatever state of femme I can get away with at the moment. It is so hard for me to plan ahead for any crossdressing.

deja true

02-13-2009, 06:52 AM

There are a lot of ways to escape the stress of the job we don't like or are bored with, to escape relationship issues that seem insurmountable, to calm the internal confict of feeling inadequate in the wrong shaped hole that society has tried to plug us in to. Gaming, paint-balling, trains in the basement, rock climbing...

Ours is one of many ways to get out of that grind, that feeling of "is this all there is?" Very few people are so completely satisfied with themselves or the direction that their lives have taken that they don't develop an obsession with something that is so very different than their 'real life'. So the answer is to find a new life, an alternative life that either leaves us in complete control or allows us to abandon control completely.

Both of these elements are in play with crossdressing. We say we are inescapably drawn to do what we do, but when we do give in to that urge, that compulsion, we end up in charge of our own look, our own feelings at last. At least for a while!

:)

MissConstrued

02-13-2009, 01:17 PM

Well said, deja.

latanya

02-13-2009, 01:26 PM

I totally agree! These are very stressful times for a lot of us. the economy and job security have put us all under a lot of stress. I'm trying to re-negotiate my mortgage because the payments have become increasingly difficult and the bank told me that the only way they could help is if I default on the mortgage. Would you believe it! talk about stress! so yes when I'm in mode the real world and all its problems seem to dissipate.

2b.Lauren

02-13-2009, 01:35 PM

It is true for me that when I have a chance 2b Lauren I feel less stressed and things seem to be more manageable. I think that it helps me to not be as wrapped up or so focused on things that I have little resolution on in my daily life. Just to be able to let go and be totally different is very relaxing.

charlie

02-13-2009, 05:13 PM

Hello Unwritten!
When I dress I'm getting ready to be out and about. I dress the best and most carefully that I can and do the makeup, matching shoes and planned outfit. However, I start having a different type of stress. Will everything go ok? Will I be outed and have a lousy time? Will I get a ticket on the way to where I'm going? A wreck?.....I start stressing about being dressed. Perhaps we can't win!

lauraabdl

02-13-2009, 05:26 PM

I couldn't agree more!

I also can't agree more. When I get girl time my stress levels go down sooooooooo much and I relax. I can't think of another way to feel this good and be relaxed.
Laura

suchacutie

02-13-2009, 05:30 PM

Or jealous..not sure which.

I just cannot let Tina out when I'm pressed (stressed). For a while I thought it was because she didn't deserve that stress which she did not create.

But, the more I addressed the issue the more I realized that Tina is still a high-maintenance girl. She needs my full attention, still, and if there is stress than I just can't pay her the attention I should. That, in turn, creates a stress of its own that I don't want to deal with.

The bottom line is that Tina has become a reward for clearing my decks of stressful things. Obviously this has made a huge difference in my life! I procrastinate less and work hard at making time for Tina, thus making everything better.

The equation is: Tina=better. Love it! But stress does not equal Tina time!

Tina

Ruth

02-13-2009, 05:33 PM

I don't think in my case there's a direct relationship with stress, but what is happening, as with so many of us, is that when I dress I go in to my feminine self, which is to a large degree a different person from my male self, and inevitably I leave behind a lot of the stuff which is taking up the attention of the male self.
It is a pleasurable transition to make anyway, because I love being my feminine self, but if I leave behind bad stuff it's an added bonus. But I will CD anyway, in the good times and the bad.

Brenda Locke

02-16-2009, 02:04 PM

You better believe it.
I find dressing completely relaxing, and when dressed the stress of things going on just seems too slip away for me. For myself it doesn't matter if I get fully enfemme or not; just dressing seems too relax me.

Brenda :daydreaming:

DameErrant

02-16-2009, 02:35 PM

This captured it "I "escape" from my "reality" by becoming another person".

This is my First time commenting on anything but this really gave me a lot of insight for me. I may not dress up for a long time, but just after I go out as Barb, I realize how stressed I was. Thank you for allowing me to gain this insight.
Barb

This is surely part of it, but escape for me comes as a side effect of getting in touch with my "shadow side," the parts of me that I normally am not allowed to express.

Part of my stress comes from not being able to express Diane as often as I would like. But upon relieving that stress, I also find that my other stress is relieved, (temporarally,) because that "other self," is not involved in the events that cause my stress. It's like I get a fresh chance to start over in a new life.

But when my stress gets too great, I find the desire to CD becomes much less. But then, so does my desire for all other things that I love! I don't get much joy from my guy side either. The obvious conclusion; CD more often so the stress does not get a chance to build up.

My wife won't admit it, but I become a better person for her when I get to add Diane to the mix of who I am. Thus, in the long run, I can make her happier as well. Is there some activity I can recommend for her that would give her the same benefits? Maybe I should start a new thread on this subject...

carolinoakland

02-16-2009, 02:51 PM

Well yes, it is a stress release, but what are you really stressing about? The situations and ups and downs of your everyday life? Or that you are living in conflict with your internal gender? I found that the back and forth of the dressing and not dressing did feel like stress relief. But I started to feel really schcizo about having two "identities". and that's when i started to realize the stress that built up was the stress of not being right. Now that I'm full time female, I have nowhere near the same feelings of stress or anxiety about my dressing either. I'm normal for me now. Carol

unwritten2108

02-16-2009, 04:08 PM

So I "escape" from my "reality" by becoming another person
:hugs:

As I said I think this does speak true about me. Speaking specifically from my last time dressed 2 weeks ago, I didn't have any of those hardships I've been facing on my chest. I got the chance to refocus myself by doing something I liked. Sure it's not who I am completely, but I'm starting to think that this could possibly be a big way for me to relieve stress (I do have other ways too).

What's more is that my counsellor agrees with me on the issue.:eek: She told me that if dressing is allowing me to relieve stress, then there's no reason that I can't turn to it when I feel necessary.

I mean there more harmful things I could be doing... :daydreaming:

linnea

02-16-2009, 04:15 PM

For me, it's balance. I think that I handle my own stresses and strains fairly well in either mode, but when I can dress en femme, I find that I'm very comfortable and less tense or stressed than I am in male mode.
There's something soothing and relaxing about the clothing and the demeanor that I take when I'm in the feminine mode.