Balance between masculine and feminine look vs. passing...

[jruiz]

I'm happy as a male and I don't plan to transition to a woman.

I really care about my image as a man, so I normally workout (bicycle, some weight lifting), and I'm happy with my masculine image. I'm slim, yet muscular.

I was overweight, but started to slim down a few years ago. I got really slim, and I got nice woman-like arms for a while. Although the feminine me enjoyed the look, the masculine me was not happy at all.

Of course, the feminine me has different (sometimes opposed), beauty standards. It takes advantage from being slim. But broad shoulders, defined chest and arms don't help at all.

I'm also very hairy. I shaved it all once (I thought I had an excuse for being a cyclist), but my wife creeped out a bit (she doesn't know about my CD). She said that she didn't dislike the look, but that she doesn't understand why a guy is concerned about body hair.

I'm also short (5'6), which is good as a lady, but not that good as a guy.

I have two questions:

1) How do you balance your physical appearance to look good as a guy and as a girl?
2) How can I be more passable? My main difficulty are hands, shoulders, back and of course, face. What should I wear? Please, consider that I can't shave my chest or arms...

[Sally24]

I am slim anyway (6' 155lbs) so anything I do to get my waist slimmer makes me look more toned in male mode too. My arms are a little skinny in boy mode, but they were never built up anyway.

My suggestion is to go for a well toned, fit but not "buff" look in male mode.

For girl mode I would try out different types of garmets until you find a style that works well with your build. For mine it is wrap dresses and similar types of tops.

You can't do much with your hands other than apply nails to elongate the fingers and make them look a little more feminine. I keep all the hair off my hands and that helps too.

[docrobbysherry]

Loose tops, and at least 1/2 length sleeves, will help hide your shoulders and biceps. I don't work out with my arms at all, anymore. But, it's too late for me!

I'm stuck with "man" arms and shoulders, too!:doh:

[KimberlyS]

A few comments for you. Number one my wife knows about my CDing but does not like it. So we have made some compromises both ways. I am 5'8" 190lbs, full figured with dark, thick, coarse hair, and a fairly masculine face shape. I am slowly working on loosing weight. The normal up and down. One needs to learn the fashions that look good on your body type no matter what the type it is.

I do get out and about in public in full femme presentation but I do not pass, but blend well. Some of the things I have learned to do over the years to help me blend when getting out and about.

I usually wear long sleeve tops. But I can wear some 3/4 length ones.

I trim down the hair on my arms to get rid of the furry look but not too short. And shave the hair on my fingers.

My leg hair stays per my wife, but I do trim it down at times.

I wear opaque tights, stockings, or thigh highs on my legs when going out and about in public.

I wear longer skirts as the leg hair still can show through the lighter colored hosiery. Darker hosiery helps but does not always work with the outfit or time of year.

I was tweezing or shaving my neck and upper chest hair so it would not show above the neck line of tops. My wife did not like the prickly after being out enfemme and she just told me to take it all off. I now eppilate my chest so I can wear lower cut tops.

I trim my eye brows to get rid of the caterpillar look. And tweeze some of the stray ones only. So I have an in between look as they are a clean look for a guy and a bit thicker look for a gal.

For the rest of my masculine face, I wear a wig with bangs that is shoulder length and frames my face giving it a more feminine look.

With all that my wife says I still look masculine, walk and act masculine when I am in full femme. I still get out and about in public and she has been out a few times with me.

What ever you do with your looks it must be something that both you and your wife are comfortable with in both modes.

But all of the looks things put aside, IMHO getting out and about is most an attitude that comes from within and not outer looks. Yes the outer looks help you feel better about yourself but IMHO is not what it takes. My first times out I looked horrible and that is putting it nice. I have been out as a guy in a skirt and other femme attire, no make or wig. And I have been out in other mixed attire modes. None of them I had any problems. And yes I was out in public around people. Yes I got some looks and some comments. But my attitude was the it did not matter what others thought, but it was ok for me to be doing what I was doing.

IMHO and experience, if you believe what you are doing is ok; that belief will come out in our attitude, actions and presentation to others. And others acceptance and tolerance of you, begins with your attitude of you and what you are doing.

kim

[JoannaCaroline]

If you're hairy and can't shave then cover the body hair or bleach it. I used to be worried about hair on my arms. I would trim it and bleach it. Then no one noticed that I had no arm hair and no one really noticed the shorter blond hairs. I've had it almost all lasered off along with my beard now though. You can also wear the clothes that cover the body hair.

As for the face, get several professional makeovers and learn from them. There are several places in the US that cater to TG's and do great makeovers. I can always recommend Transformations in Chicago. I also highly recommend any MAC store.

[Karren H]

Well there is no feminine me or mascaline me there just me... No matter what clothing I wear.... So I guess you could call that balanced.. Or unbalanced..

And striking a balance and wanting to look more feminie seem to be mutually exclusive... You can only fem up so much before you start looking like a girl in mens clothing full tiime..

Not being able to shave stimks but I have used the hair bleaching and it works to a point.. If you could get by with being hairless for a month or two you could epilat of wax the hair off and the hair that comes back in is finer and there less of it.. Just a thought..

[Samantha43]

It is a struggle many of us has. I am 6' tall and 185 pounds. I am happy with my male body. Very little fat, and good muscle definition. I watch what I eat so I can remain slender. I have wide shoulders and narrow hips. My arms aren't huge, but they are well defined. When I was younger, I worked out often. I have large hands, a wide chin and a big nose......

Now, that doesn't work well for for me when I want to crossdress. I pick clothing that hide my male body. It's a wonder what makeup can do for my face! I don't go out often, and when I do it is to a crossdressers group. I work with what I have, realizing I am my male self 90% of the time.

I am satisfied with my female look. It has taken years to get the look I like.....and I'm still working on it. I shave my whole body except my arms, which are trimmed. This allows me to wear v-necked tops which I think are very feminine. I normally wear long sleeve shirts which cover my arms.

Remember, GG's come in all different sizes and shapes. I have seen GG's that are taller and larger in general than me. I have been told by many that have seen me that I can easily pass. Now either they're being nice, or I'm too critical of myself! Either way, I'm happy where I am now. A male that looks good in swim trunks, and a female that I find attractive. What else can I ask for?!!!

[IDealinDreams]

I'm happy as a male and I don't plan to transition to a woman.

I really care about my image as a man, so I normally workout (bicycle, some weight lifting), and I'm happy with my masculine image. I'm slim, yet muscular.

I was overweight, but started to slim down a few years ago. I got really slim, and I got nice woman-like arms for a while. Although the feminine me enjoyed the look, the masculine me was not happy at all.

Of course, the feminine me has different (sometimes opposed), beauty standards. It takes advantage from being slim. But broad shoulders, defined chest and arms don't help at all.

I'm also very hairy. I shaved it all once (I thought I had an excuse for being a cyclist), but my wife creeped out a bit (she doesn't know about my CD). She said that she didn't dislike the look, but that she doesn't understand why a guy is concerned about body hair.

I'm also short (5'6), which is good as a lady, but not that good as a guy.

I have two questions:

1) How do you balance your physical appearance to look good as a guy and as a girl?
2) How can I be more passable? My main difficulty are hands, shoulders, back and of course, face. What should I wear? Please, consider that I can't shave my chest or arms...

Okay, I'll be honest, I'm going to be really reaching here because I've never cross dressed yet... plus, I want my tenth post so I can finally post/hang out in the young cross dresser forums!

Basically, if I cross dress and I am satisfied enough that I decide it's okay to continue, then I will simply focus all my energy into looking good "en femme". I know this probably isn't what you want to hear, but I honestly believe there is looking good in a masculine way, or looking good in a feminine way. There is no "and" - men and women are opposites; chances are, if something looks good in feminine mode, it will not look good when you are masculine, and vice versa.

My advice? Do what I used to do... just focus on looking androgynous. Then no one can tell what the Hell you are, and thus can't accuse you of cross dressing. : )