I am so disappointed in myself

[Michelia]

I haven't been able to sleep all night. Yesterday, I had to pick up my son and take him to the dentist and take myself to the doctor. I had girl pants and boots on. My femme t-shirt was covered by a long sleeve male dress shirt. All went OK at the doctors'.

On the way back, my son wanted to stop at Ross and look to see if this toy he had seen was still there. I took off my shirt, grabbed my purse, threw on some lip gloss, and let my hair down. We went in the store and headed for the toy section. There were two women in line at the register. I felt them following us to the back of the store. I smelled a rat. But I decided it was their problem so I ignored them.

We were talking about the toys when I sensed one of the women and looked up. She was shooting a video with her cellphone of us! I was so upset. I took my son and waved at the lady and moved over to another aisle and the woman stood at the end of the other aisle filming us.

All kinds of thoughts raced through my head. Ripping the phone out of her hand and stomping on it. Getting in my car and waiting for them to exit the store and at least getting their license plate. I have been stalked! If I did this to a GG, they may just call the police! Maybe I should call the police, etc.

But I did nothing. And there is this person out there with a video of me.

First, I got careless. I smelled it coming. I was not aware like I should have been. Maybe I have gotten too comfortable going out. I used to look all around me and scope out the horizon regularly. Then, I did not react swiftly. Finally, I let them get away with it and did nothing.

Yes, I will learn from this and chuck it to experience. But I am still very upset about the whole thing.

[Sheila]

Michelia, firstly do not be disappointed in yourself .... how you dress is nobodies business, and I am utterly appalled that that woman did that to you and your son. I wished i could have been there cos trust me I would have had lots to say and do :Angry3::Angry3::Angry3:

I am sorry that you had such a horrid experiance, unfortunately all I can do is send you virtual :hugs: and hope whoverer she shows the video to will rip her a new one and delete it from her cell phone :Angry3::Angry3:

[Sally24]

Just another reason why most stores do not allow pictures or video taping within the store.

[amy2310]

Even as a GG, I find that shocking, it's a shame other peoples actions have made you feel disappointed in yourself. I'd be more humoured by the other womans attitude towards you, it's petty and it's sad they need to do such things to 'enjoy' themselves.

[Shannen]

"Hi! Can I help you with something?"

...like learning some manners?

Who knows what reason she had, but a calm response to being "spotted" is always better than acting guilty or scared.

It's not easy to avoid being on camera. I'm sure more than one security camera has lingered on us while shopping. And in our youtube society everyone is so quick to capture every moment they wish to. Do stores have policies against this? I'm sure if anyone asked to follow their customers around and video them it probably wouldn't go over very well...

Don't spend too much time going over "what if" in your head. We can't change the past, and no one knows what the future will bring.

:hugs:

[PrettyFlowingGown]

Michelia. Dont be dissapointed in yourself. The person who video-ed you is a waste of space, and has NO life. Sadly, theres alot of these type of people around who get their kicks harrasing different walks of life. We say to ourselves, "I wish I had of this, and I wish I had of done that", but its also sometimes better to walk away. Why waste the effort? Be yourself and be proud of what you are, and who you are.

[TGMarla]

Rude. Some people!

Are their lives so empty that they have to fill it with this kind of behavior? What? Was there no National Enquirer around to fill their voids?

[sandra-leigh]

My first thought (and I just woke up so it might not be the best of thoughts): they were recording you because they believed that your dressing the way you did was evidence of "child abuse". You may know the kind of people, pretty much the same ones for whom if you had been holding hands with a same-sex partner, that would have been "child abuse" too.


Note, by the way, that the inside of a store is NOT a public place, and they had no legal right to record you there without authorization of the store. You would have been within your rights to summon a store employee and demand that the women destroy the videos.

[Sandra]

Michelia

No way should you be disappointed in yourself. These people must lead a sad life.

[JenniferR771]

Well you had your sone with you. You acted correctly. Now if you son was not there you could have grabbed the cell phone and marched her up to the store manager. Or maybe popped the battery out and kept it. Thrown it as far as you could. Bent it just enough so it would not work. Her life must be pretty dull if she wanted to video such a thing. Who would want to watch it? She will delete it soon--it s of no value to her.

[cindym5_04]

It's not a reflection on you. You were fine. I can have a bad temper at times, though I really try not to and have been pretty successful keeping it in overall check.

When I first was reading your story, a couple of thoughts came to mind. Knowing how I am, I would not have reacted the same as you. It may have gone something like this:

"Do you have an f'ng problem?", then swatting the cameraphone out of her hand and smashing it on the floor.

I think you handled it a lot better than I would've.

[docrobbysherry]

People like that, go from one frying pan to the next! Usually, in rapid succession. She'll show your pics to some friends. They'll roll their eyes, say, " That poor child. My goodness sakes alive!". :brolleyes:
Then, go back to gossiping about folks they ALL KNOW!:eek:
And that will be the end of it!

How I LOVE my safe and comfy closet!:love:

[CharlotteW]

My heart sank when I read that. If someone did that to me, I'd deal with them immediately and answer the questions later.

I'd be looking on youtube for the video. If I found it, I'd get them to take it down immediately as you have not given permission for it to be shown.

[Nicole Erin]

With what charlotte said - That is possible but but trust me, it would take a REAL moron, like the cell phone lady, to get ANY entertainment out of it. What, the descript would be "man in woman's shirt walking around in store". That would be boring to watch. I don't think it is going to make the "featured videos" section. Besides there is so much crap on youtube that it would get lost instantly.

Sometimes you don't run into the best clientel at places like Ross.

Yeah I would have made a scene. Unfortunately, calling the cops would not have been a good idea cause you never know who's side they are going to take, being the a-holes they are, he probably would have said some smart ass crap like it was somehow your fault and that would have been the end of it.

But yeah like it was said, these "B"s will probably move on real quick, usually morons like that who get off on invading privacy tend to move on quick.

I had a friend years ago who thought it was cute to record people's phone calls. ONe time he recorded one of some guy talking to a car parts store about something. My friend thought it was the funniest crap in the world.

People like those women are morons and usually have extra chromosomes. One has to practice a little extra patience with such idiots.

[Angie G]

People need to tend to they're own and let other do the same. That woman was wrong in recording you without asking. Takes real nerve. I'da flipped the b^$h off.:hugs:
Angie

[CharlotteW]

Just done a few searches on youtube and google video and nothing has been posted since yesterday. Thinking about it from a technical point-of-view, a mobile camera video from about 10 feet away would be pretty awful quality. Your face would be made up from about 20 pixels and the video compression would further destroy the quality. Replaying on a cameraphone screen would be poor too.

Sorry to be so boringly techie.

[TommiTN]

I think we pretty much have to expect to be photographed/video'd any time we go to a public place. I have been photographed numerous times in restuarants when out with my support group. It's just the way it is. We're unusual and people always want a record of things/events they witness that are out of the ordinary. I have suffered no ill effects and you probably won't, either.

[Nicole Erin]

Sorry to be so boringly techie.

Well you are right though. Camera phones suck anyways.
Michelia is probably imagining this hollywood quality video floating around but yeah the quality would suck.

It reminds me of a thread where I told someone that their family would not be able to see her well thru a window from outside.

Think of this also - if this woman is so stupid that she has to go around taking videos of random people, what the hell are the chances she would even know how to post anything on youtube? If it ain't on there by now it won't be, you know she would have nothing better to do, so, if she knew how, it would be there by now.

[SherriePall]

What I would have done at the time would have been to approach the store's management to report that someone was videotaping (digitally, of course) me without my permission. I would have let them handle it. Now, what would I really have done at that moment I don't know because my answer has the benefit of having read everyone else's posts and thought about it for a while.
If it does show up on Youtube, I agree it will probably be poor quality (something like those who took it).

[Lorileah]

Whats going to be funny is when she shows it to her slovenly trash husband who, after he scratches his crotch and passes gas, says "why don't you dress up like that? Now where's my beer and the remote?"

[Michelia]

I am so glad no one has said I should just stay in the closet to avoid this kind of thing. I have come this far with everyone's help and I will not go back, so that is not the issue.

I guess I should clear up a couple of things. This store was in the best part of town. Both women looked as if they were upper middle class.

I grew up in a violent household and I swore early on my family would be different. I did inherit a violent nature and I have worked all my life to not let it rule. So I have always been non-violent and withstood much abuse as a result. But I am very proud of my accomplishment. It has happened that when pushed too far, or if someone lays a hand on me, I react very decisively with devastating consequences. So unless I feel a physical threat, I am non-confrontational, and even then, I just ACT with the perpetrator usually caught totally off guard. I do not like that side of me to show. It is difficult for me to get too mad. I control my anger very well.

But last night, I was boiling. I was on the edge. If this stupid woman knew how close she may have come to getting clobbered (in a matter of speech)... She was filming us as if it was her entertainment. As if we were some kind of zoo animals. We just do not go around videoing others, regardless of who they are, I think.

I have been so upset that I did nothing. She needed to learn she just can not go around doing this. I will be better prepared next time. And thanks for the comforting words and good advice. I feel better, although tired from no sleep.

Notes have been taken!

[trannie T]

Of all the responses you could have made to this person you chose one of the best. By engaging in some kind of confrontation you could have caused a far more serious problem. By leaving the area and turning the other cheek you ended the problem with no consequences to you or your son.

The immediate reaction in a situation is the wish to claw the b*tche's eyes out. You are disapointed because you didn't. You should be proud because you handled it in a mature, adult manner.[-][/-]

[Jess_cd32]

Your sense of smell at least was right on when you smelled a rat!
WTF is wrong with these people doing something like that. That took alot of nerve on her part. Don't let this ignorant fool bother you, thats just what she is.

[Jennifer Giovannetta]

I am becoming more dissapointed with people in general every day. Dont feel bad, because you did nothing wrong. Some people just cannot live and let live. It makes me angry that this woman did that. And you can be sure that if you did act on impulse and grab the phone from her, she would of played the victim in a big way. :Angry3:

[Persephone]

Unfortunately, calling the cops would not have been a good idea cause you never know who's side they are going to take, being the a-holes they are, he probably would have said some smart ass crap like it was somehow your fault and that would have been the end of it.

Your comment is rude and inappropriate. You need to apologize to the thousands of law enforcement personnel who, every day, put their lives on the line to keep you and any loved ones you may have safe.

[beez1717]

I'd probably get all mad and crud and just end up telling the employees and getting something done but that's just me. I might think about pulling off some tai chi moves but....... LOL if only I could use some fencing moves.. LOL that's my tomboy attitude coming out..... LOL

[Persephone]

I think we pretty much have to expect to be photographed/video'd any time we go to a public place. I have been photographed numerous times in restuarants when out with my support group. It's just the way it is. We're unusual and people always want a record of things/events they witness that are out of the ordinary. I have suffered no ill effects and you probably won't, either.

An excellent point, Tommi!

As a person, I'm offended if someone attempts to take my picture, in any circumstance, without my permission, although if in a public place it is probably legal.

Crossdressed I would be hypersensitive to it and might walk over and ask the woman what she was doing and why, but in the final analysis you are very correct.

[bumblebee]

You should've filmed them with your cell phone. Imagine their surprise if you started doing the same thing they were doing.

[Tracii G]

Bumblebee nailed it!
Reading thru the post that thought came to mind whip out the cell and start filming them saying look at these two ugly A&* ladies can you believe that they are filming me!I mean really look at their outfits OMG I wouldn't be caught dead in those pants!
I'm such a smart ass when people like that show their ignorance.
Girl you did the right thing with your son being with you you showed style and class.:hugs:

[Sally2005]

It was probably one of those google earth photographers! ;-)

I don't understand what is wrong with some people...I wonder how they would react if someone did the same to them? Hopefully if they show it to someone, the reaction will be a lecture...something like 'get a life'.

[PretzelGirl]

You also have to realize that if you lashed out, you probably would have increased the chance that the video, no matter how poor the quality, would have been passed around. Just being of someone walking aisles isn't that interesting. Someone lashing out in a store has more potential for viewing.

So I agree, you did the right thing.