Sensitive Guy?

[AKAMichelle]

I was on the phone earlier today with a client of mine and he made a strange comment. He told me that I was a sensitive guy for going with my wife to see Bride Wars and He's Just not that into you. That's what got me thinking about the differences between us.

He has always been the kind of guy who chases anything in a skirt. He better be careful these days around most of you. :devil: He has been married for many years and has 2 daughters. Yet when we go to dinner, he sits there and talks about the different women and the best attribute. He never seemed to grow up. I have to admit that in my early 20's I behaved similarly, but no longer. So here is my question. Why do some guys stay a player and others grow up? Do you think that our crossdressing makes us less likely to be this way? Do we feel the female side of things because we are crossdressers?

I have felt uncomfortable for some time now when we go out together because of his behavior. I realize how the woman would feel being treated so poorly by a guy. I always wonder why a guy like that wouldn't grow up realizing how his daughters will be treated one day by guys like him.

[Samantha43]

I know guys like this too. They never seem to grow up and act like teenagers all their lives. I think it is an insecurity they have about their sexuality. Always having to prove their "manlyhood" to everyone around them.

[gennee]

I know guys like this too. They never seem to grow up and act like teenagers all their lives. I think it is an insecurity they have about their sexuality. Always having to prove their "manlyhood" to everyone around them.

That is usually the case, Samantha. I see it quite a bit. Alot of your matinee-idol macho types are very insecure about their manhood. They seek constant approval and always have a need to be on top.

Gennee

[DawnRodgers]

I am a great supporter of women's rights. Hate to be wround thoise "macho" males that talk down to and negatively about women. Don't know if that is because of my CDing or not but I would rather spend time with and talking with a group of women than a group of men. Men are usually boring and too full of testosterone talk.

[Wendy me]

simple ........... every village needs a idiot....................

[GaleWarning]

Some guys look at girls and admire them in terms of their attributes.
Others look at them and admire their clothing, their make-up etc.
Some guys despise girls.
The joy of living lies in our relationships with other people, I think.
So guys in the second and third categories are losing out, in my view.
I love women!
I will stop admiring them, and enjoying their company the day AFTER I die.
Will I ever "grow up"? Hopefully, never.
God keep me from becoming a boring old fart!

Oh, and am I insecure about my sexuality?
I used to be, but not any more!
:cheers:

[Karren H]

simple ........... every village needs a idiot....................

Or two.. Three...

[GaleWarning]

If there were no village idiots, how would the rest of us know we were sane?
The joy of living lies in it's rich variety of life forms.
Another thought: We as CDs crave acceptance.
Why, then, can we not accept other types of personalities?

So, my advice to Michelle would simply be, enjoy your client's company. Love him for who he is, not for who you would want him to be. Don't judge him.

[Gabrielle Hermosa]

I'm not sure if crossdressing would make a man less likely to be a player. The male sex drive has all sorts of settings (varying from man to man). Crossdresser or not, I'm sure some will always desire the next hottie that catches their eye. I've known guys who will probably be single forever because they live for the chase - (they're) almost 40 now, and nothing has changed. It's just who they are.

In terms of why some men "grow up" and some do not, I'm pretty sure that's mostly in the genetic soup we're made up of. The same reason some men become crossdressers and some don't.

About sensitivity... I've noticed that I'm only mildly sensitive when in guy mode. I'm polite and considerate, but I'll talk about "hot chicks" with my guy friends when my wife isn't around. ;) Would never cheat on my wife though - I love and respect her way too much to do that, but so long as I'm alive, I will always admire the beauty of an attractive woman. Can't help it. When I'm in girl-mode, my emotions seem to almost get too sensitive. I sometimes even cry easily because of that. :eek: Really weird! Don't care for the emotional overload I feel en femme at times. In guy-mode almost nothing makes me cry - seriously! Slightly OT, but thought I'd put it out there.

[Alice B]

I think it ,may have to do with self value and that they have to prove to themselfs that they are desirable. They may present it as an ego thing, but are really lacking in belief of their value. We've all been there at one time or another especially if in a situation that makes such acts easy. One of my best friends has two to three woman on a string at all times and he is married., but underneath it all I feel he is insecure.

[trisha59]

Me thinks that he's over compensating has machoism

[deja true]

Here's the opening of the wiki entry for 'machismo"...


Machismo is a prominently exhibited or excessive masculinity.[1] As an attitude, machismo ranges from a personal sense of virility to a more extreme male chauvinism. In many cultures, machismo is acceptable and even expected.

The trait may be seen as the product of runaway evolution, as Frits Staal notes,

The peacock's tail, the grotesquely enlarged claw of the male fiddler crab and the machismo of members of the human species are all exaggerated features that may cause injury to individuals that display them but attract females.[2]

...and I gotta agree with this 100%. There's good machismo (think Sean Connery or Antonio Banderas or Harrison Ford) and there's bad machismo ( virtually any rapper who enjoys telling us about his ho's and bitches and those creeps in your office who have something sexist to say about every woman they see.).

As men, we can all strive for good machismo, a total respect for women and necessity to be polite and protective. The image of the good macho guy is the image that all women are looking for. Truly male and truly gentlemen. No need for rudeness or incivility.

Bad macho guys? Definitely an over-compensation thing... disrespect for women that probably hides (not very convincingly) a real fear and actual hatred for females. Chauvinism is the word... an unrealistic and undeserved sense of superiority over women and any others who are different. Chauvinists don't just dis women, they dis everyone.

Ya wanna be a woman sometimes? Good for you! Be a caring, creative, lovely woman.

Ya wanna be a man sometimes, too? Good for you! Be a good macho man...a protecter and guardian...and a lover and respecter of the woman who loves you .

Well played machismo isn't necessarily a bad thing. :)

[Jess_cd32]

Two main words can describe him, selfish and immature.

[GaleWarning]

"I was on the phone earlier today with a client of mine and he made a strange comment. He told me that I was a sensitive guy for going with my wife to see Bride Wars and He's Just not that into you. That's what got me thinking about the differences between us."

This is what Michelle says the guy told her.

"Two main words can describe him, selfish and immature. "

This is what Jess concludes about him.

Huh?
Sorry, I simply cannot agree. All based on people's ASSUMPTIONS about him.

[sometimes_miss]

He told me that I was a sensitive guy for going with my wife to see Bride Wars and He's Just not that into you.
I would wonder if that was a subtle 'dig' at you. Guys like that think 'sensitive guys' are wusses. IMHO, it's his statement of his superiority over you. Watch his other behavior to see if it seems he feels that way.


There's good machismo (think Sean Connery <snip>)
you mean the guy who thinks it's perfectly normal to punch around a woman when she doesn't 'behave' the way he wants her to? Yeah, good machismo, riiiiiiiiiight.

Some people are self centered, and others are not. Sensitivity can be a side effect of insecurity, of becoming more aware of others feelings because we want to try to make them feel better around us. But it can also be just normal concern for the well being of those we care for.
I don't think it is in any way related to crossdressing.
And, his self confident self centered attitude is something that is often attractive to women, so he won't have any impetus to change his attitude. It's a very visable trait of many alpha males, and a woman may flock to them even if they aren't nice to her. Evolutionary psychology.

[Kelsy]

guys like that are unable to see the world in anything other than their own terms:straightface:

Kelsy

[tamarav]

As a hairstylist, I work dressed with the public everyday. When I encounter a macho male that does his best to impress me with his "manly" statements I either ignore him and do my work or put him in his place. (Probably my testosterone coming out)

When the same type guy turns ugly macho, I just take the cutting cape off of him and let the chair down, point at the door and tell him to leave. I don't have any need to work on idiots like that. I did that to an attorney a few weeks ago and have turned him away twice since then. Now I seem to be getting a lot of his clients and competitors because they liked my approach to him, which they can't do. What a strange world.

[docrobbysherry]

I'm NOT sure there's much of a difference between the two!

BOTH R showing their insecurities! :eek:

The female, worried that she's not as hot as someone else. Or, that she's NOT looking her best, or losing it!:doh:

The male, worried that he's NOT as attractive to his prospective partners as he should be! Or, USED to be! ( This can be tru for ALL guys; straight, gay, or bi.):heehee:

[AKAMichelle]

I would wonder if that was a subtle 'dig' at you. Guys like that think 'sensitive guys' are wusses. IMHO, it's his statement of his superiority over you. Watch his other behavior to see if it seems he feels that way.

I didn't think about it this way at first. He has always acted a little above me. He acts like he is the man. Owner of a large company and plenty of money. I think it breeds an ego writing checks that he is having a hard time cashing.

[GaleWarning]

He has been married for many years and has 2 daughters. Yet when we go to dinner, he sits there and talks about the different women and the best attribute.

Sheesh! Will you please stop this?
I suggest that he has a good marriage, is a loving father and is open and honest in his relationships. He is not a pervert. They keep their feelings well hidden.

Of course, I am simply assuming this, but the poor man cannot defend himself. He has been tried and sentenced without even knowing it! Where is the American sense of justice in all this?

Again, I remind you - judge not, that you be not judged. If you are really wanting to be accepted as you are, start the ball rolling by accepting others like this good bloke. Warts and all! None of us is perfect.

[Sally2005]

I find that type of conversation boring especially if you can't follow-up. With people like that, I just say, if you really want her, go for it. Usually, the conversation changes since the other guy is all talk. I would much rather hear my buddies complain about their wives...at least you can give some practical advice.

[Lisa Catherine]

BOYS like that truly bore the daylights out of me, like the boor that grabbed my butt while walking by me at last year's SCC. My first reaction was to turn around and practice some choice Aikido moves on him, but that turd wasn't worth spending a night in DeKalb County lockup, let alone getting kicked out of SCC for using violence. Characters like that typically use their fake machismo to hide their own inner insecurities, just like the goofus who flips you the bird in the parking lot, and then "kisses up" to you with an apology and backs downwhen you face off with him!!

[Teri Jean]

People like this should not be allowed to procreate. Hahaha. But really this is one of many reasons I find the idea of being female, if only in clothes and makeup, more appealing. Some guys see women as just great looking gal and not the person inside. I have changed quite a bit in my thinking and when a gal is dressed nice it is more "how would I look in this or that?" and she has a wonderful personality. Yes an attractive woman turns my head and always will but the reasons have changed to a point.

Keli

[Sarah...]

Do we feel the female side of things because we are crossdressers?


No. It's because to a greater or lesser extent we are female. So, suppose you go live in a society where the male and female members dress the same. Does that mean because you are no longer a "crossdresser" that certain personal attributes and characteristics are suddenly switched off? No. Crossdressing is a behaviour symptomatic of an underlying cause. It causes nothing itself. The underlying cause makes you who you are - with all your associated sensitivities (or not as the case may be).

Sarah...